turnadette
by NeverEndingFandoms18
Summary: just lots of little chapters about Shelgah and patrick. not really going anywhere. I may be continuing this if people want. I do not own Call the Midwife...BBC does. My mistakes are my own. ABANDONED, please see my profile for more info but please feel free to read


**A long delivery.**

Dr Turner watched as a new baby was cradled in Mrs Ellie West's arms, he had known her for many years and had a good relationship with her. When he heard she was expecting her first child, he had promised he would be there. And he kept his promise. He smiled, he was happy for the first time in many months for he was coming to terms with the fact that he was in love with one of his dear friends and colleagues. He had realized he was in love with the small Scottish nun at the day of the fate and he had foolishly kissed her grazed palm in some kind of effort to show his feelings for her, but he knew she felt the same way. He could see it in her eyes whenever she looked at him, and the time at the clinic on Tuesday afternoon when his son Timothy had come in from school with a grazed arm and she had stepped up to patch him up and look after him until he was free.

He knew that his feelings were wrong but when he realized it, it was far too late to do anything about it. However, he marvelled and admired at her skill and knowledge, she was a good nurse and an excellent midwife, and he trusted her completely.

He looked over at Sister Bernadette and felt the smile slid from his lips. "Are you alright Sister?" he asked.

She was still knelt on the floor. She had come with him, she delivered the baby and he was there to give some kind words and support to Ellie West and he was there if she needed him, but there was no complications and the birth went smoothly, the only bad thing about the labour was that it was a long one. She startled at her name and looked up at him. "Yes doctor, but I'm afraid my legs have gone to sleep." She said and she smiled weakly. "I can't get up." Their eyes met and he saw pain in them

He hesitated, looking at the young nun who was knelt uncomfortably on the hard floor who had been there for the best part of an hour. Should he help her up? He couldn't really leave her there; it wouldn't be fair to her.

Ellie West poked him hard in the upper arm. He turned his head and broke the gaze with Sister Bernadette; he looked at Ellie who smiled at him. "Well, help her up then you muppet!" she said and laughed. "Never knew if he was coming or going when he was a lad. Always the same. You'll never change Patrick." She told Sister Bernadette.

He flushed. "Ellie!" he said and looked anxiously at Sister Bernadette, but he saw no embarrassment and she was smiling. She had called him by his first name in front of Sister Bernadette and felt himself colour deeply. Not many of the staff or people in poplar knew his first name and it just embossed him.

He made himself get up and walked round slowly to her. He bent down and glanced at her, they were more or less eye level and once again, their eyes locked. She looked in pain. "Are they hurting you Sister?" he asked. They were so close, he saw her tremble slightly.

She shook her head. "I can't really feel them." She said. He knew she was lying; Sister Bernadette was never one for not telling the truth, that's what she had been taught he thought.

He put an arm around her back and settled his hand on her hip; he gently put a hand under her arm and pulled her up. But there was no success. He tried again but there was no luck. He crouched down for a moment feeling really rather uneasy, it was the first time they had touched properly; even the briefest of hands touching whist they worked was enough to set him alight. Now he had touched her waist and her arms, he was shaking; every nerve in his body was on fire. He knew she didn't weigh that much, even though the habit hid her figure, he could feel her slender body through the material when he tried to lift her up. He caught his breath and raised his head; she was staring at him, a smile on her lips.

"No luck?" she said and then looked down, his hand had settled on her knee and he followed her gaze, he withdrew his hand quickly and swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Not really." He said and then had an idea. "Do you think you could sit with your legs stretched out Sister?"

"Erm, yes I think so." She said and paused. "You will have to help me though doctor."

He smiled. "Of course." He said and glanced at Ellie who was watching them. "If you could hang onto the bars of the bed and pull yourself up, I can hook your legs out." He said and blushed at the last few words.

In a few minutes, he heard Sister Bernadette winced slightly in pain as she sat with her legs now in front of her. It had been tricky and he was feeling rather uncomfortable. He was stood up, he was trembling, and he had not been that close to her since he kissed her palm at the fate. His body was shaking with the excitement and his head was spinning.

"Patrick?" he jumped and looked at Ellie, he frowned at her, and she used his first name again. "Will you go and tell our Matt?" she said, smiling at him.

He cleared his throat, glad to escape; he glanced at Sister Bernadette who was still sat on the floor. "Yes of course Ellie." He said and walked out of the room quickly.

About half an hour later, Patrick Turner was stood outside the bedroom. The door opened and made him jump. Sister Bernadette emerged, rather unsteadily on her feet. He smiled at her and took the bag from her hand.

"Everything done?" he asked her.

"Yes doctor, I will be doing the rounds and will let you know how mother and baby are doing. I know how busy you are." She said and walked towards the stairs, one of her legs buckled and he thought she was going to fall down the stairs. He dropped the bag, strode towards her and grabbed her arm, his arm went around her waist once more and he heard she gasped at his touch. His heart was pounding and he could feel hers as he held her upright and close to his body. He held her for a few moments until she had regained her balance and looked up at him.

"doctor." She said and looked down.

His hands were still on her waist and arm. He blushed and pulled away from her, taking a few steps back, he picked up her bag, hoping that nothing was broken and handed it back to her.

She smiled, her cheeks flushed, she took the bag and stepped lightly, but carefully down the stairs, she looked back at him and walked out of the house, gently closing the door behind her.

He leant against the railings and sighed. He loved her so much but he could not tell her, it was far too inappropriate, just had it been when he kissed her palm at the fate. He could only show his love for her and had to suffer in silence. For she was not his own, he couldn't love her properly. And it was slowly killing him inside.

 **In the Chapel.**

Sister Bernadette had been feeling really rather lost and confused. Ever since Dr Turner kissed her hand at the fate and the long, tiring labour of Ellie West, she had realized that he had felt the same way about her; she now knew that she was very much in love with the noble doctor and that the Lord didn't stop it or even helps her. She knew his first name now, after Ellie West let it slips, it was on purpose, and she knew that Ellie knew about their growing relationship but she didn't say anything. She tried to find some words to ease her troubled mind but there was no luck, she cried herself to sleep many a dark and very lonely night in Nanatous House. She felt very guilty whenever she looked at him or their hands brushed while they worked together, she marvelled at his skill and his kind caring way with patients.

She was going to the Chapel, she had took to singing whenever she had some spare time, it calmed her down, made her feel sane again even if her mind was always focused on Dr Turner. She really did enjoy singing.

After a few verses, she stopped and put her book down on the alter, she had tears running down her checks. She took her glasses off and set them down on the table. All she could think about was Dr Turner and it pained her so much.

"That was beautiful Sister."

She gasped and turned around; she pushed her glasses back on the bridge of her nose and tried to focus her teared eyes as quickly as she could. At last her eyes focused and she silently gasped as she saw Dr Turner leaning against one of the pillars, hands in his pockets.

"Dr Turner!" she said and took a deep breath in.

"I'm sorry Sister Bernadette, I was at the back when you came in and didn't want to move when you started singing. You really do have a beautiful voice Sister." He said and moved closer, he smiled but his smile faded as their eyes locked and he saw the tears on her face "are you alright?" he asked softly and offered her his handkerchief.

She swallowed and took it. Their hands brushed and she trembled. "Thank you doctor. I am well." She said and took her glasses off again; she wiped the tears away quickly and gave it back. He smiled as he he folded it up in his hands and fiddled with the edging. "Why were you in here?" she asked and thought for a moment. "If you don't mind me asking Dr Turner." She said and put her glasses back on.

"Not at all Sister." He said and he paused, she saw him swallow. "Its 5 years today since my sister passed away." He said softly but kept the eye contact with her. She saw that he was trying to keep his composure and was trembling slightly as he twisted the handkerchief around in his hands that had saved so many lives.

"I'm so sorry Dr Turner." She said and felt a shiver go down a spine.

"Thank you Sister." He said and she heard him sigh. "Will you sit with me for a while? I could do with some company."

She smiled weakly "yes. Yes of course." She said and sat on the first row of wooden chairs next to him. They had been this close before and she always felt very self-conscious when she was near him. The sunlight was just starting to shine through the patterned glass and it cast onto the tiles in the chapel, it was been raining heavily for the past few hours and she sighed, she had always lie it when and after it rained. It reminded her of her childhood up in Aberdeen, she sighed again at the memories that were flooding back and she made herself blink to get rid of the tears.

"It's not time for your prayers is it Sister?" Dr Turner asked, her thoughts blew away and she turned her head to look at him.

"Erm, no doctor." She said. "It's been a very long day and I just needed to convalesce for a while."

"Oh, do you want me to leave you alone?" He asked his eyes soft and caring.

"No!" she said and cleared her throat. "No, it's alright doctor." She felt her checks blush again.

"Very well sister." He said and she watched him carefully. They lapsed into silence, it wasn't an uncomfortable silence, their whole working relationship was made by silence and it enabled them to trust each other. She enjoyed just being with him, she felt that she got to know him better and better. A few moments later, he broke the silence "I used to sit like this with my sister; we could sit for hours reading in silence when we were children." He said.

"Were you two close?" she asked carefully, she didn't want to intrude and step over the line of professionalism.

But he seemed open to talk. "Yes, she was only 5 years younger than me. She would have been 35 in a few months' time." He said and sighed.

She nodded silently. So he must be 40. He didn't look that old but then she remembered that his wife passed away a few years ago and thought of what an impact that must have made on him. She remembered the death of Laura Turner like it was yesterday. She was a good woman, she loved her son and her husband to bits and Dr Turner was a wreck when she contracted pneumonia and passed away within a week. Nanatous House was a great support to Dr Turner and young Timothy Turner.

She watched Dr Turner smiled sadly. "She was such a good girl when she was younger. Got on at school, worked hard, went to college and uni. Following in her brothers footsteps she said. She was so bright, so happy." He said and laughed softly. "But then she contracted TB, she started coughing before her 30th birthday and passed away a few days later. I couldn't save her." He whispered and then hung his head.

She took a deep breath and put a hand on Dr Turners arm. She heard him inhale at her touch. "I am very sorry doctor." She said gently.

"Me too Sister Bernadette. But she will always be here. She was just taken too early." He said and lifted his head, his brown eyes locked with hers once again.

She smiled "of course Dr Turner. We never know how the Lord may work." She said.

He gently put a hand over her own and brushed his fingers over the back of her hand. "I am sorry about what happened in the kitchen of the parish hall Sister, really I am." He said.

"It's alright Dr Turner." She said she could feel her checks going red.

"If you are sure Sister, I don't want it to ruin our friendship and working relationship." He said.

She nodded "of course doctor, but I assure you that it is quite alight. You don't need to apologise to me."

"Then I am again very sorry Sister Bernadette." He said, his face tense, she could feel him shaking slightly.

She opened her lips to reply, but he bent his head and pressed his lips to her lips softly. It was her first kiss, he was very gentle and his hands were on her face and her neck, making her feel even fainter. She kissed him back more tenderly and melted in his embrace.

 **Caught**

"Sister!"

They broke apart and they both gasped as they set eyes on Sister Julienne who was stood at the door of the Chapel.

"Sister Julienne…I…erm…I" Dr Turner said and she could see him blushing scarlet.

Sister Julienne cleared her throat. "I think you should leave doctor." She said calmly.

"Yes. Yes of course. I am sorry Sister." He said and quickly walked out of the room. Sister Bernadette tried so hard not to look at the good doctor as she might drown in his gaze, as she did do sometimes. But she made herself watch him leave the chapel to remind her of what had just happened and what sin she had just committed.

She bowed her head as Sister Julienne drew closer and sat where the man she was in love with had been sitting just moments before. She could feel the warmth of his lips on hers and the touch of his hands, the hands that had saved so many people, on her face and waist.

"Sister Bernadette." Sister Julienne said softly.

"Sister, I am sorry. I'm so sorry." She said, she could feel painful tears forming in her eyes and was struggling with her breathing.

"Sister, I am not going to judge you. Never would I do that to you. And nor is God, you don't have to apologise my dear. Dr Turner rather forced you.

She took a deep breath. "He didn't force me sister, I didn't pull away, I know I should have done, like when….." she trailed off. She had not told anyone about the encounter in the kitchen of the parish hall and felt her checks flush even more. She continued to look down at her clasped hands and stopped a sob from coming out of her mouth.

"When?" Sister Julienne asked and put her hands over Sister Bernadette's. She inhaled quickly at the touch and she felt tears rolling down her checks. She felt as if she had disappointed her and she hated that for Sister Julienne was just like a mother to her, like her own mother she had lost when she was just a child.

"It was at…at the fate." She whispered. "You were with Nurse Lee at the time, you sent for him. Timothy Turner had no partner for the 3 legged races as Dr Turner was meant to be his partner. He was so upset." She said and took a deep breath. "I agreed to pair up with him, Dr Turner was running alongside us as we finished the race and me and Timothy had won it." She found herself smile at the memory. "We had fallen over and I have grazed my hand." She gently took her hand away from Sister Juliennes too look at the scar on the inside of her palm, "I had excused myself and went into the kitchen of the parish hall to run it under the water, Dr Turner came in, I didn't hear him and he made me jump. He asked if he could look at the graze and I said yes. I don't know why I said yes. He took my hand and was looking closely at the graze and he kissed the inside of my hand." She said, a shiver going down her spine as she remembered the kiss, she could almost feel his soft lips on her palm. The warmth of his touch against the cold of the water. "I pulled my hand away quickly and he left me alone a few moments later."

Sister Julienne had remained quite whilst she explained what happened. A few silent moments late, she took both of Sister Bernadette's hands and held them in her own. "Why did you not tell me Sister? I could have helped you."

"I know Sister. But I have felt so wretched and alone and guilty about my feelings towards Dr Turner that I thought I would disappoint you." She said softly, the tears had not stopped but where slowing down.

"You could never disappoint me Sister Bernadette." She said and Sister Bernadette finally looked up at the elder nun. "As for your feelings for Dr Turner…does he feel the same way about you?" she asked.

"I-I'm not sure but I think so Sister." She said. "But I don't know what to do."

Sister julienne squeezed her hands measurably. "You just need a little time Sister, but I would not do anything too hastily." She said. "You know I am here if you need to talk my dear."

"Yes. Thank you Sister." Sister Bernadette said and wiped her eyes free from tears. "And I am sorry that you walked in."

"I think I would rather find you that Sister Evangalina! I don't think she would have been quite so forgiving." Sister Julienne said.

Sister Bernadette smiled. "Quite."

 **Nonnatus House.**

It had been some days until Sister Julienne next saw Dr Turner. It was a few days after the x-ray van came to Poplar and she had not had time to pull him aside and talk to him about what happened in the chapel.

There was a knock on the front door in the late afternoon, they had just finished supper and seeing as thought she was closest to the door, she answered it. Dr Turner was stood in front of her and she knew something was wrong by the expression on his face. "Dr Turner is everything alright?" she asked.

"Not really Sister." He paused. "May I come in?"

"Of course." She said and let him through into the hallway. "I need to speak to you about what happened last week doctor."

"I am afraid that will have to wait Sister, although I am deeply sorry for my behaviour and my actions, I regret them so much so I am sorry."

"It's alright doctor." She said as they walked slowly down the hallway. "Now do tell me what is troubling you."

He sighed heavily. "It concerns Sister Bernadette, I got her x-ray card back today from the London. She agreed to have an x-ray to help a child who was scared and it is a good job she did." He said.

She stopped. "You don't mean..." she trailed off, not being able to finish her sentence.

He nodded very slowly. "I am afraid so Sister." He said, and looked her in the eye. "I need to speak to Sister Bernadette. You are welcome to sit in, if it would make you feel better Sister but you should know that I would not do anything again towards Sister Bernadette," he said.

She swallowed and took a deep breath. "It's alright doctor, I trust you." She said. "I will go and fetch Sister Bernadette for you; will you be alright inn the equipment room to talk to her? I will make sure you won't be disturbed." She added.

"That is fine." He said and he hesitated "and thank you Sister, for trusting me." He said and walked to the equipment room slowly.

Sister Julienne stood in the hallway for a few moments after, trying to collect her thoughts and to compose herself. She then made her was to the kitchen where Sister Bernadette was sat along with Jenny Lee, Trixie Franklin, Cynthia Miller and Jane Sutton, they were all having a cup of tea and were chattering. Sister Julianne made herself smile so not to cause alarm to the young girls.

"Cup of tea Sister?" Trixie asked, standing near the oven.

"No thank you Trixie." She said and turned to Sister Bernadette. "Sister, can you come with me for a moment? There is something I need to discuss with you." She said, trying to keep her voice calm.

The young Sister rose to her feet. "Of course Sister." She said and followed her out of the kitchen, Sister Julienne stopped just outside the equipment room. "Dr Turner is in there waiting for you Sister; he has something he needs to discus with you. I only said me so that it didn't cause any alarm to the nurses, I know what they are like." She said.

"right." Sister Bernadette said and turned to the closed door, she stopped as she saw her hesitate. "Are you not coming in Sister?" she asked her hand on the door handle.

Sister Julienne shook her head. "Dr Turner needs to speak to you alone Sister. I will be right here if you should need me."

Sister Bernadette nodded and opened the door and closed it behind her. Sister Julienne took a few steps away and breathed out a sob she did not know she had been holding.

 **Examination**

Doctor Turner waited anxiously in Sister Bernadette's room as she took off a few garments of clothes so he could examine her. The x-ray card he had placed in front of her showed lesions in her chest, a sign that she had early TB.

He was trembling. He couldn't only focus on the task in hand or he might have a breakdown. He always tried to keep distant from his emotions, it allowed him to carry out deliveries or if he lost a patient without breaking down. But now it was Sister Bernadette who he had to examine and determine if she had TB. He was in trouble, he had not been like this since his dear wife passed away and it might kill him if he lost Sister Bernadette as well.

He stood behind her and looked at Sister Julienne who was stood a few paces away; she nodded slightly at him, silently giving him permission.

He gently pulled the blue material away from her back and placed his stethoscope on her back, he could feel her trembling, and her heartbeat was fast. "Breath in." he whispered. She did and he listened. "And out." He said. He moved the stethoscope to the other side of her back and asked her to breathe in and out again. Her head was high and she was still trembling under his touch.

This was the first time he had been able to touch her skin and he was scared that he would overstep the line, with Sister Julienne watching him, he felt even more under pressure and rather uneasy.

He moved round and she turned slightly. He pushed aside the material and saw her slip; he swallowed and placed the stethoscope on her chest, being careful not to touch her. He could hear her heartbeat beat faster; her head was angled away from him, her eyes half closed. He asked her to breathe in and out again. All he wanted to do was pull her into his strong arms and protect her from that awful disease.

Moving the stethoscope to the opposite part of her chest, his fingers brushed her skin and his body was set alight at the touch. He could hear her breathing heavily and he was as well, he was trying so hard to keep himself calm.

Finally, he stepped back and pulled the stethoscope around his neck, Sister Bernadette had turned away from him and was trying to do her habit up, her fingers were clumsy and he saw her hands shaking.

"Crackles" he said and looked at Sister Bernadette. "On both sides." He saw that her head was bowed. He looked at Sister Julienne whose face was grey and upset. "I've arranged an x-ray for you in the morning. It might be more convent if I drive you." He said, surprised that he could speak for all he wanted to do was burst into tears, he saw the same look on both of the Sister's faces.

"Thank you doctor." Sister julienne said and stepped forward. She obviously trusted him again or she wouldn't have accepted his offer.

"You don't need to do that." This was the first time Sister Bernadette had spoken and she finally raised her head, she had done up all the buttons now. He caught her eye and saw that she was terrified.

"I'll drive you." He said firmly. And locked at her, changing his glance to Sister Julienne who had put a hand on her arm. He saw Sister Bernadette look up at her.

His heart was still pounding against his chest and his hands were still trembling, he held onto the end of his stethoscope to try and clam himself but there was no luck. He couldn't lose her. She was everything to him and more.

 **In the car and hospital.**

Sister Bernadette sat in Dr Turner's car the next day to go to the London for x-rays. She had not slept last night, she was too worked up and she was trying to find some comfort in prayer. But there was no luck and eventually, she thought of Dr Turner and was calmed.

He got in next to her. She refused to look at him and kept her eyes on the road in front of her. She heard him sigh and then start the car up, they drove to the London in silence, and it was a tense silence. She saw that he looked over at her a few times and in turn, she made herself look at him, just his presence calmed her down. At last the car pulled up at the London and she got out. She waited for Dr Turner and took deep uneven breaths to try and calm herself, she was terrified. She had not been this scared in many years. Dr Turner came round the car and smiled weakly at her, she smiled back and she found enough strength to walk with him into the hospital.

A few hours later Sister Bernadette walked to Dr Turner's office slowly. They had confirmed that she had TB and the news had hit her like a brick wall. She wanted her mother deeply and it pained her that she would never see her again for she died when she was just a child. She stopped at the door; he was sat at his desk, his head bent and his hands clasped at the back of his neck. She tried to calm her breathing and took a step forward, she knocked on his door softly and he jumped, his head jerked up. She saw that his eyes were red; they had not been like that this morning so he must have been crying she thought. "Sister" he said and caught her eye. "What have they said?" he asked and he sat up a little straighter.

She could feel the tears welling up. "t-they said…it's TB." She whispered, her voice breaking and her breathing was hard. Tears escaped from her eyes and fell onto the tilled floor of the good doctor's office; she bowed her head and took a step back. She put a hand to her mouth to try and stop the audible sobs escaping.

She heard the scrap of his chair and footsteps. She felt his arms go around her and she fell into his arms. She buried her head into his jumper and sobbed. She could feel his breath on her forehead and his heartbeat was fast.

She knew she should pull away but she couldn't or she might fall to the hard floor, he was keeping her up, his hands were on her back, rubbing her back softly.

A few moments, she found the strength to pull away, she took a step back and looked at him, and he had tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry Sister Bernadette, really I am." He said.

She opened her mouth to speak but she heard rapid footsteps and soon Jenny Lee was at the door. Sister Bernadette looked at her. "Oh sorry. Doctor, you're needed, a mother a suspected elampsia." She said.

Sister Bernadette took off her glasses and wiped them and her eyes. He looked back at Dr Turner who was dithering. "Will you be alright here Sister? I shouldn't be too long and then I will take you home." He said his eyes soft and painful.

She sniffed and cleared her throat. "Yes of course." She said making sure her voice was clear.

He smiled and then walked out of the room. She sighed and caught the eye of Jenny. "Are you alright Sister?" she asked stepping forward.

"I could be better nurse. I've just got the results of my x-ray back, but I will tell you all later." She said.

Jenny Lee smiled weakly. "Alright Sister, but I am here if you need to talk." She said her eyes concerned.

She smiled back at her. "Thank you Jenny." She said and soon was left alone in Dr Turner's office.

 **In the sitting room.**

Sister Julienne looked up as Sister Bernadette and Dr Tuner walked into the sitting room. She had been dreading this moment ever since the doctor took her to the London and by the shocked and glum expression on both of their faces, it was not good news. She had been sat with Sister Evangalina, jenny, Trixie, Cynthia and Jane for the past hour, all awaiting Sister Bernadette's return.

"Sister Julienne." The doctor said and she stared at him. "Can I have a word in private?" he asked.

She cleared her throat. "Of course. "She said put her writing to one side and rose to her feet. She put a hand on Sister Bernadette's arm. "Do you want to stay here?" she asked softly.

The young nun inhaled deeply. "Yes, I will tell everyone Sister." She said. She could see such pain in her eyes and the unshed tears forming in her eyes.

"Alright, you know where I am Sister." She said and patted her arm. She left the sitting room and looked back at the door to see Sister Bernadette sitting down next to jenny and Cynthia.

She forced herself to look away and looked at Dr Turner instead, she could see he was shaking, her eyes met his and they were full of sadness.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and walked with Dr Turner to her office.

Moments later, they were sat opposite each other in her office. He explained what had happened and the result and what he wanted to do. She sat, in silence and took everything in but could not open her mouth to speak. All words escaped her and she was struggling to keep her composure.

"Sister, she will be okay." Dr Turner said leaning forward. "I will make sure she will be."

She took a deep breath and found her voice again. "Yes. Thank you Dr Turner. You have been more than helpful." She said.

"I only want to make sure she will be alright Sister. You don't know how much she means to me." He said and smiled. "And too Timothy as well. He wouldn't forgive me if anything happened to her."

She smiled. The young boy had taken a shine to Sister Bernadette and she knew how much she loved the boy. "Quite." She said. And rose to her feet. "I think we should go back to the sitting room. Will you have a cup of Horlicks doctor?" she asked as he pulled himself up, he was still shaking but not as much now.

"If it is not too much trouble Sister." He said. "Timothy is still at cubs so I don't have to pick him up for another hour." He looked at his watch then back up at her; he looked older, like he had aged 10 years in just a few days.

"Not at all." She said and they walked out of her office and to the kitchen where Jane and Trixie were making Horlicks.

"Would you like a cup sister? Jane asked.

"Yes, please and will you make one for Dr Turner as well Jane?" she said, she could see that they both had been crying. Their eyes were red and puffy.

"Of course." Jane said. And turned back to the oven.

"She will be alright, won't she doctor?" Trixie asked.

Sister julienne glanced at the noble man next to her. "We can only hope, Nurse Franklin." He said.

She turned to him. "Would you like to wait in the sitting room doctor? I will bring your cup in for you." She said.

He nodded. "Yes, thank you sister." He said and walked slowly down the corridor to the sitting room.

"Oh dear." Trixie said. "Do you think he is okay?" she asked.

"It would not be my place to say Trixie." She said.

All she could do was pray for sister Bernadette's live to be saved and for her to make a full recovery. She was like the daughter that she had never hand and she was not the only one who believed that it might kill her if she was taken. She knew how much she meant to the good doctor and would hate for him to become even more upset than he already was. She knew he loved her.

 **The Sanatorium.**

Dr Patrick turner had just closed the door of his car and looked at Sister Bernadette who was stood in front of him, her face anxious and there were tears in her eyes. All he wanted was to hug her tightly and kiss her lips again but he knew he couldn't. "The triple treatment can be miraculous." He said.

She caught his eye. "We shall see." She said there was such pain in her voice as she spoke. He handed her the suitcase he was holding and their hands touched, that would be the last contact for a while he thought. "Thank you Dr Turner, you've been…more than kind." She said.

He wanted to speak but she walked off, he could see that she was trembling as she walked towards the entrance of the sanatorium. He watched until she was out of sight and turned back to his car. He gasped as hot tears rolled down his aged face. Leaning on the car, he closed his eyes.

It was so painful to let her go but he knew it was for the best, for the sanatorium was highly regarded and had a good reputation, he knew she would be in safe hands but it did not ease the fact that he would not see her or hear her voice for months.

He stopped his tears and composed himself as well as he could. He got back into his car and drove to the sugary where he was due to start work within the hour,

Around 1 hour later, he was doing his rounds; he couldn't make himself smile at the patients. He did what was needed but put no real effort into the tasks. He retreated back to his office and sighed. He didn't think that the pain of letting Sister Bernadette go was going to affect him this much. There was a knock on his door and he looked up. Nurse Miller was stood holding a cup of tea, he remembered when Sister Bernadette had come to his office and he had hugged her to try and make the pain and the sadness go away for he could not bear to see her cry, it broke his heart. He sighed at the memory. "Can I help you nurse?" he asked.

"I just thought you'd like a cup of tea doctor. You don't seem yourself." She said and walked over to him, she passed him the cup gently.

"Thank you Cynthia." He said, deciding to call her by her first name, to try and get on the same level as her. He liked her, she was a good nurse and a brilliant midwife, ever since the death of baby Thomas Kelly, he had seen her in a new light and was completely in awe of her sometimes.

"That's alright doctor." She said. "Are you a bit shaken up after everything with Sister Bernadette?" she asked more softly.

He sighed. "Isn't everyone?" he said and took a drink of tea; it made him feel better, less empty.

"I'm sure she will be alright doctor. It's very rarely that she is ill and I'm sure she will make a full recovery." She said kindly.

He smiled. "Quite."

"Well I will leave you alone for a bit doctor. I will call for you if you're needed." She said.

He swallowed. "Thank you Cynthia." Tears were forming in his eyes.

She must have seen them as she smiled. "I am here if you need to talk doctor." She said softly and left the room.

He turned around and set the cup on the table, his hands were shaking and he would have dropped the cup. He took ragged breaths in and shut hiss eyes tightly. He missed her too much. And it was slowly killing him inside. He would give anything to see her again, even for just a second.

 **The letters.**

Sister Bernadette held the letter in her hands. She had been receiving at least 2 every week and she couldn't bring herself to open them as they brought back too many memories. She turned the letter over and ran her fingertips over the writing. She missed him so much.

Dr Turner always put down his address. She would never send a letter back, she couldn't put pen to paper, and she wouldn't know where to start.

She had always enjoyed her letters from the residents of Nanatous House and enjoyed writing back, even though her life at the sanatorium wasn't half as exciting as theirs and she often found herself rambling. She longed to ask how Dr Turner was but fought against it as it might cause suspicion among the nuns and nurses.

She kept Dr Turners letters inside her bible and they often fell out when she wanted to find some comfort or kind words that would make her feel content and sane again.

She missed working terribly and was often at a loss end, but she was growing tired of missing everyone and she slept during the day because of it. The visits from everyone, minus Jane, sister Evangalina and Monica Joan, made her days brighter and she could look forward to leaving the sanatorium.

But there were those lonely, endless nights when she started to question her faith and what God wants of her, she wanted a new life, outside the religion. She didn't want to be a nun anymore.

After she had met with Sister Julienne one afternoon, she found the strength and the courage to open the growing pile of letters from D Turner, in a hope that a new life awaited her.

 **Losing a friend.**

"So it has been decided that Sister Bernadette will not return to Poplar but go to Chichester to stay as a house guest until she decides her future with the order." Sister Julienne said to the table of nuns and nurses. It pained her so much to even speak the words, but it was something that her dear Sister Bernadette felt she had to do and that was that she would leave the order, to see what life could offer her. She knew that it was so that she could be with Dr Turner. She knew, well they all knew how they felt about each other and if it made Sister Bernadette happy, then she would be determined to be happy for her, even though it seemed like she was losing her daughter all over again.

"Why would she give up now, when it has been her life for so many years?" Cynthia asked. She like Cynthia, they had spoken many a time about how they were doing since Sister Bernadette had left them and she opened up to the young midwife. Jenny Lee was not a stranger to her door either. She felt like she was being listened to and in turn, she knew that the girls all felt the same. She had gained their trust and was very thankful that she was not alone during the last lonely endless months and that the girls understood.

Sister Monica Joan commented and Sister julienne stepped in; she could not bear her Sister Bernadette being spoken of like that. "Sister Bernadette is not suffering a loss of faith, but she has come to question what God requires of her. Beyond that, it is not my place to say." She said and everyone was silenced and carried on with their dinners.

A few hours later, she as sat alone at the kitchen table, staring into her now empty cup of tea. All she wanted was for Sister Bernadette to be okay and she knew she would be with Dr Turner. She knew he would not let any harm come to her. She knew that age difference between the pair, but that didn't matter, not if they loved each other.

She heard footsteps coming towards her and she looked up, clearing her throat as she did.

Cynthia and jenny crept into the kitchen. "Are you alright Sister?" Cynthia asked and sat down at the table.

"It's been a very taxing day Cynthia." She said, she remembered when she spoke the same words to Nurse Lee, when she had to leave Sister Bernadette who had just been diagnosed by Dr Turner with TB and go to the Masters pub at once. She always regretted leaving her but she had insisted that she'd go.

"Do you want a cup of Horlicks, sister?" jenny asked her. Their eyes met and she saw that she was remembering about that day too.

She smiled. "Please." She said and passed her the empty cup that had been sat in front of her for a while.

"Sister…" Cynthia began and then looked at her to ask her permission if she could talk, probably about Sister Bernadette. She nodded and let her carry on. "Is Sister Bernadette leaving the order for a new life?" she asked.

"I hope so." She said. "It would make life so much more enjoyable and happy if she did."

"I don't really want her to leave." Jenny said and set a cup down in front of her.

"Thank you jenny." She said and wrapped her hands around the cup. "No. I don't want her to either. But it will be for the best."

"Do you think Dr Turner will propose to her?" Cynthia asked.

Sister Julienne sighed. "I don't know Cynthia."

She really hoped he did though. She would make a brilliant wife and a wonderful mother to young timothy. Everyone knows that he needs it. And Dr Turner needs someone. She hoped that the person would be Sister Bernadette; she deserved some happiness and love in her life.

"They love each other, don't they?" jenny said and both Cynthia and Sister Julienne nodded.

 **Blessing**

Dr Turner knocked on the sitting room doors a few weeks later. Things were looking up. Sister Bernadette had left the order and was now called Shelagh, a beautiful name that he could never get accustomed to. She was clear of TB, but he knew the danger of her being re-infected. He was so happy that she was back in Poplar; she would be staying at the convent.

He was no longer sad, the spring had come back into his step and he noticed a change in his colleagues, everyone was over joyed that she was back.

He opened the door and stepped in. "am I disturbing you Sister Julienne?" he asked.

The nun smiled at him. "Of course not doctor, do come in and take a seat." She said and put her book to one side.

He sat down opposite her and held his hands in front of him. "As Shelagh has left the order Sister, I wanted to have your blessing and ask your permission if I could ask her to marry her." He said, he had not looked up at her yet and when he did, he saw tears in her eyes and a smile on her lips.

"Patrick, of course you have my permission and you have my heartfelt blessing." She said.

He breathed out and smiled. "Thank you Sister, it means a lot." He said.

"But Patrick, remember that if you hurt my little girl in any way, you will have me to answer too, I swear to god." She said.

"I would expect nothing else sister julienne. I will look after her, I promise." He said.

"Good, now have you decided where?" she said.

He thought for a moment. "I think the parish hall, I already have an idea about how to do it, but it makes me happy to know that you are happy sister. I know how much she means to you."

"quite." She said. She stood up and walked over to him, he stood up and she kissed him on his check. "I know you will make her happy Patrick and you will take care of her. I trust you completely."

Tears were forming in his eyes. It meant everything to him to hear those words. "Thank you Sister Julienne." He said and smiled.

 **In the parish hall.**

Patrick turner had just put the ring on her hand. The message that timothy wrote was perfect and he was so proud of him, he looked at his future wife and could not stop smiling. She would make a wonderful mother to the young boy and she would make the most amazing wife.

"You don't know how happy I am Patrick." Shelagh said.

"I feel the same Shelagh." He said and squeezed her hand. "Shall we go and tell timothy? He is waiting in the car."

"Yes, I want to thank him for the message, it is so beautiful." She said and sighed happily. "Come on then."

He followed her out, holing her hand tightly. She looked so beautiful; he could not get over it. She was so different but he could see that she was happy; he had not seen her smile like that in so many moths. And all those lonely months spent wishing she was his had been blown away.

They walked into the fresh air and timothy jumped out of the car, he watched as his sons face lit up at the sight of them.

"Did she say yes?" he asked. He had been so excited about his proposal to Shelagh and it was such a joy to see him happy again. It made him happy.

"Ask her, it was you who wrote the message after all." He said.

Shelagh looked at him, the smile had not left her lips, and looked back at timothy. "I said yes timothy." She said.

The boy's face lit up even more as he ran to them, he hugged her. She laughed and hugged him back, her eyes bright again, he knew how much she loved him and was happy that she could be a mother to him, the boy defiantly accepted her and it was a weight of his mind knowing that.

They all stood in silence for a few moments. "Shall we get going to Nanatous? The christening will be starting soon and I don't want to miss it." Shelagh said and he watched her brush her fingers through the boy's hair. "Besides, I can show my boys of now." She added.

He smiled at her. "Of course. Come on tim." He said and squeezed her hand again. He could not be happier even if he tried.

 **The Christening.**

Sister Julienne opened the door and got a shock. It had not been a week since Shelagh had left the order and only a day since Patrick turner asked for her blessing, now, in front of her stood Shelagh and Patrick hand in hand, both of them smiling. Young timothy was clinging onto her hand and they looked like the perfect family. She blinked back the tears, but they were happy tears, she could feel her heart swelling with pride. She stepped aside and let the family through.

The young nurses flew out of the sitting room as sister julienne greeted them. Trixie was the first to hug Shelagh. "There has been so many times I wanted to hug you but I have never been able to!" she said.

Shelagh laughed. "Well I'm sure I can get used to this." She said and in turn everyone had a hug.

Sister julienne was stood near her and their eyes met a few times, she looked so different, but she could tell, everyone could tell that she has so much happier.

She watched as Trixie picked up her left hand and all the girls exclaimed at the diamond ring on her finger. "It's beautiful sis-"Trixie stopped and everyone laughed. "Shelagh! Sorry, it's going to be so hard not to call you Sister Bernadette."

Shelagh smiled at the girls. "It's hard to answer to it!"

Sister julienne was aware of Patrick walking over to her. "Sister Julienne." He said and she turned her head and had to pry her eyes away from Shelagh.

"Dr Turner." She said. He looked younger, his lines were not as deep and visible, his eyes were bright once more and a smile never left his lips. "Thank you."

"What for?" he asked.

"For making my little girl happy again." She whispered, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

"Thank you for trusting me sister." He said.

She watched the group of girls go back into the sitting room, it was good to see them all happy again, and it made her feel like she had her family back again.

"Sister." Shelagh said and took a few steps towards her.

"My dear Shelagh." She said and took her hands, she held up her left hand. The ring was beautiful. "I am so happy for you." She said.

Shelagh breathed out. "Thank you sister, you don't know how much that means to me."

Sister julienne smiled. Shelagh hugged her. She hugged her back and took deep breaths; she did not push her away like she did when she singed the final papers to renounce her vows only a few days ago. "I am so proud of you." She whispered. "My little girl." She added and tears fell from her eyes at last.

 **In Trixie's room.**

The christening of baby Fred and baby Samantha had gone so well. Everyone was so happy, there were no awkward pauses or silences, everyone was excited for Shelagh and Patricks' engagement, apart from sister Evangalina who was yet to be won over, but even she was happy.

The convocation was free and she was treated just the same as she was when she was a nun.

Timothy was on his best behaviour as there was a promise of ice cream tomorrow when Shelagh would take him out. She had to do some clothes shopping and Patrick had promised he'd give her some money.

Shortly after the service in the convents chapel, she was dragged away by the young nurses; she looked back at Patrick who smiled at her. She knew he was feeling uneasy and hated leaving him, but she was assured he would be alright, she could see it in his eyes.

She sat down on Trixie's bed and was bombarded by questions from the excited and outgoing midwife who wanted to know everything.

"Trixie, leave her be!" the ever kind Cynthia said and sat down on the bed next to her. "You don't have to tell us anything Shelagh, not if you don't want to."

"But if you don't, we shall never talk to you again." Trixie said and grinned.

Shelagh laughed. She had missed all of this. "There is really nothing to tell."

"Well, when is the wedding?" Trixie asked.

"We haven't got that far yet. Besides, I am still going to be staying here until that day so you will have plenty of chances to drag me away again." She said and stood up.

"No, you're not going away that easily." Trixie said and stood in front of the door.

"Trixie, if she wants to go, let her go." Jenny said and smiled at her. "It's only because we are all so excited for you Shelagh."

She nodded. "I know and you are not the only ones." She said and walked out of Trixie's room.

 **In the sitting room.**

Patrick turner was sat in the sitting room talking with Fred and peter. He was feeling anxious and wanted Shelagh to come back. After 20 minutes of his fiancée being dragged away, he heard footsteps and chatter. He breathed out.

Moments later the nurses walking into the room, brighting it instantly. Shelagh moved away from the girls and made her way over to him, he pushed timothy who had been sitting next to him to one side; the boy had been as good as gold, he could not be more proud of him. She smiled and sat down, she reached over and ruffled the boy's hair, and he looked up and smiled, leaning against her as he read a book.

He took her hand, no longer afraid of public shows of emotion; he had been longing to touch her skin again, no matter how small, it made him feel safe that it was really true; he ached when she wasn't there.

She smiled and leaned her head against his shoulder. He was still shocked by her golden hair, it suited her perfectly and the colour was like no colour he had seen before.

He glanced around and noticed several pairs of eyes on them, he flushed a little and turned back to Shelagh, she seemed oblivious of of the eyes watching them, her eyes were bright behind her glasses and she was smiling.

He knew how much he loved her and her eyes told him the same thing. It was so strange to look back to the last few months, all the pain and sadness and not being able to tell her. It all seemed a dream.

But then his eyes locked with her ice blue ones and he knew that it wasn't a dream, that this was really happening and that she was so close to becoming his own. He bent his head and kissed her forehead softly, to show that he was alright and also that he would not leave her unless he had to.

 **In the kitchen.**

Sister julienne walked into the kitchen to see Patrick and Shelagh washing the crockery and cutlery not long after they all had dinner. She stopped at the door and watched them silently, he was washing the pots and she was drying them. They made such a wonderful couple. She watched as he bent his head and kissed her on her lips, both still oblivious of her presence, she smiled and kissed him back.

She could see how much they loved each other, it was all so clear now.

A few moments later she spoke. "You didn't have to do that," she said and walked towards them.

They both looked up and smiled at her. "It's no bother sister, really." Shelagh said, wiping another plate.

"Well, thank you both." She said and moved closer, she had questions on her mind and seeing as though the three of them were alone, she decided to ask them. But she couldn't get the questions out; she didn't know where to start.

Patrick must have seen this. "Is it alright if I can take Shelagh out when we are both off duty sister?" he asked and Shelagh turned to him, but did not say anything, she just smiled at him.

Sister julienne smiled back at the good doctor. "Of course Patrick, but you'd better steer clear of the nurses, they might pounce on you." She said chuckling. It was nice to see the girls enjoying themselves again, even if it did make Patrick and Shelagh uncomfortable. "Have you decided on any wedding plans yet?" she asked, making herself useful and started to put the plates, cups and cutlery away. It gave her something to focus on, instead of just standing in the kitchen.

"Not yet." Shelagh said. "But I think that the nurses would want their say in things." She laughed, their eyes met, she knew that she was talking about Trixie franklin.

"Well, I look forward to it." Sister julienne said. She felt content again. She knew she would not lose Shelagh, for she saw the same thing in her blue eyes. She would always be there for her and she knew that Shelagh would do the same for her. She had got her daughter back again and she would not let her go no matter what.

 **Home.**

She unlocked the door of 19 row a few weeks later. Patrick had a key cut for her as she was spending most of her free time round at the house that was quickly becoming their house. She cooked meals for them both, much too young timothy's delight, the days of fish and chips every night were long gone or they would be as soon as they were married.

She opened the door, she could see light coming from the door in the kitchen. "Hello?" she said, gently closing the door behind her.

"In here Shelagh."

She smiled. She loved coming home to find Patrick, he was often writing up notes, but he always made time for her. She pushed open the door and gasped. "Oh Patrick!"

The room was lit by candles; there were flowers on the table. Patrick was stood up, dressed in his formal waistcoat and work trousers. He looked so smart. The room was beautiful. She looked over at the stove and saw a large pot. He must have cooked for her. Tears welled up in her eyes. He took a step forward and she fell into his strong arm, tears falling down her checks.

"What's wrong darling?" he asked.

She caught her breath and looked up at him, his face full of concern. "Nothing, it's just…it's beautiful Patrick."

His arms tightened around her waist. "Shelagh, it's our 1 month anniversary. Did you think I forgot?" he asked stroking the tears away

"Of course not!" she said. "I just didn't think that you would go to all this trouble."

"Nonsense." He said. "I'd do anything for you my love. Anything." He whispered.

She reached up and kissed his lips. They had kissed many a time and even felt comfortable to kiss in public now, most of Poplar knew of their engagement so there not much point hiding it.

He deepened the kiss and let her go moments later. She rested her forehead against his. "You look very handsome." She said.

He laughed. "Well, I thought I'd make an effort for you."

She looked down at her blue uniform. She didn't wear the habit anymore so wore the standard blue dress and red cardigan. She felt like one of the girls now. And they accepted her which relaxed her deeply "let me go and get changed." She said.

"You don't have to." He said taking her hands in his rough worked ones.

She smiled. "I want to. After all, you've gone to all this effort for me." She said and kissed his lips again.

"Don't be too long." He said breathlessly.

"I won't." She said and forced herself away from his embrace and slipped out of the kitchen.

 **Darling.**

He looked up and the door opened again 10 minutes later, all words escaped him as she walked into the room. He golden hair was down from her usual bun and waved like a waterfall past her shoulders. Her dress was canary yellow, the colour suited her perfectly, and he had not seen that dress before. She had changed her shoes and was wearing white heels to match her white cardigan. He knew that she would only wear 2 inch heels for she was uncomfortable in them, after so many years of wearing flat shoes.

She locked stunning. "Darling." He said and rose to his feet. He took her hands. "You look absolutely beautiful." He said.

She smiled and looked down, she blushed whenever someone gave her a complement for she was not used to it. He cupped her face and kissed her, he felt her hand on his neck and on his chest. He loved her so much, he kissed her more deeply, and he could not get enough of her. She pulled away, both of them breathless, he kissed her check and kissed her neck, she gasped and clutched him to her body, he felt her kiss his fore head and his hair line. He pulled away and locked his eyes with hers. "I love you Shelagh." He said.

"I love you Patrick." She whispered, still a little breathless. She kissed him again and pulled away once more. "Shall we sit?"

"Of course." He said and smiled at her and pulled her chair out and she sat down. He took his place opposite her and poured her a glass of white wine.

She took it to her lips and drank. She had only had wine a few times and never had too much. He got to his feet and served the dinner. It was only a chicken stew but she was so grateful.

They ate in silence. Both of them found each other lapsing into silence for their relationship worked best on it. They understood each other through and when they did talk, they could confine in each other about things that were troubling them or if they had any questions.

"I don't believe for a second that you made this yourself Patrick." She said.

He laughed. "Am I really that predictable?" he said. She laughed, her eyes lighting up once more. "I did have a little help from sister julienne." He confessed.

"No matter, it's the thought that counts darling." She said.

He smiled at her, thankful that she understood.

 **At the kitchen table.**

Sister julienne walked into the kitchen to find Shelagh, jenny, Trixie, Cynthia, chummy and Jane all sat around having a cup of tea in the late afternoon. She smiled at the girls.

"Cup of tea sister julienne?" Cynthia asked, pouring tea into 6 cups.

"Oh yes. Thank you Cynthia." She said and moved around the room to help the young midwife.

"Sister Julienne?" that voice was so familiar to her that she knew who it was. She turned around and looked at Shelagh, her collar of her blue dress open slightly, her cardigan sleeves rolled up.

"Yes Shelagh?" she said. She had to force herself not to call her sister Bernadette; she was not alone, for many other inmates of the convent still called her that, including sister Evangalina.

"I wanted to thank you for making the dinner for me and Patrick yesterday." She said.

"I knew he didn't make it." Trixie said.

Sister julienne smiled. "That's alright. I take it dr turner let it slip?"

"Indeed." She said.

Cynthia passed the cups around and sister julienne allowed herself to sit down with all the nurses and listen to details of the evening. She was so happy things have been going well between the pair; it put her mind at rest.

"Will you be going out with him again?" jenny asked.

"Oh I don't know." Shelagh said. Sister julienne caught her eye and she smiled.

"There is a dance at the Duke's a week on Friday. You and dr turner have to come." Trixie said.

"I'm not too sure Trixie." Shelagh said.

Sister julienne thought back to all the times that the girls had gone out to dance and always saw the longing in Shelagh eyes. She had always wanted to go to one.

"You must go Shelagh; you will have a wonderful time." Sister julienne said for she could see that the young midwife was wavering.

After a few moments, she answered, "alright. I'll ask him."

The young girls all squealed in delight. She smiled at Shelagh who nodded at her.

She knew she would enjoy it, she couldn't wait to see her in her outfit, by that the other midwives wore, Shelagh would look stunning and she knew that Patrick would scrub up well, just as he did do last night.

 **Timothy**

Shelagh let herself into the house a day later. She wasn't on call till the morning now and had a few hours to spare until she had to be back at the convent. She had never stayed over, there was not point for they both wanted to wait until their wedding night. Both sister julienne and Patrick agreed that she would not be on night shifts for another few months until she was fully recovered from TB, she had out up a fight but backed down, it was for the best.

She closed the door. "Hello?" she shouted. There was no response. She listened and heard muffled sobs coming from the sitting room. "Patrick?" she asked and crept closer to the door that was ajar. She opened it slowly and sighed. "Timothy?" she said softly.

The little boy was curled up on one side of the sofa, his head buried in a pillow. He didn't look up as she drew closer.

She sat down gently next to him and put a hand on his back. "Timothy, what's wrong?" she asked and gently rubbed his back.

The boy moved his head so she could see him properly. His face was wet with tears, his eyes red and puffy.

"Come here. Timothy come here." She said. Slowly he moved and flopped into her arms, his crying increased. She rocked him slowly on instinct and rubbed his back. "Shhhh" she said repeat. "It's alright timothy." She said.

After a few moments, he calmed down and was sniffing in her arms. He didn't move from her arms but shifted his head slightly.

"There now." She said and handed him her handkerchief. He took it and mopped himself up. "Do you want to talk about it?" she said, holding the boy close, she stroked his hair gently.

"One of the boys at school was making fun of me." He said.

"Oh?" she said, bending her head slightly.

The boy sniffed. "He said that I didn't have a proper mum anymore." He whispered.

"Oh timothy!" she said and hugged him tightly. "You shouldn't listen to him. What's his name? I'll give him a right kick up the bum next time I see him." She said.

The boy laughed. She smiled; she loved the sound of his laugh. "Now Timmy, do you want to know something that only you have?" she asked.

"What?" the boy raised his head.

"You have a dad, who loves you very much. I know he is sometimes very busy and I promise I will get him to change his ways." She said. "And…" she paused, she reached over to the table and picked up the framed photograph of Laura Turner, they had kept it to remind timothy of his birth mother, she would not be forgotten. "Your mother loved you very much as well. You know I would never try to replace her timothy. And of course…" she handed his the frame and put her hands over his, she squeezed his hand. "You have me timothy and I love you so much." She bent her head and kissed his forehead. "You know that I and dad are always here, don't you?"

The boy nodded. "But you're away at the convent most of the time; dad doesn't make time for me."

"Timothy, you know you can call me and I will always come. You can come to the convent as well. And your dad loves you; he does have a lot to do." She said.

"Will you be moving in here when you and dad marry?" he asked and stroked the photograph.

"I will. Is that alright?" she asked.

The boy nodded. "I like it when you're around."

She smiled. "Good, as I like to be with you and your dad." She said. "Now shall we go and get something to eat?"

"Yes." The boy got up and put the frame back, he then hugged her tightly.

She gasped and then laughed, she hugged him back. "I love you mum." The boy said.

Tears welled up in her eyes and her heart swelled. She had never asked him to call her mum but she was so happy that he did. She hugged him tighter. "I love you too son." She whispered.

She was so happy that he called her mum; it gave her a new purpose in life and was determined to show him just how much she cared about the little boy that she wished that he was her own.

 **Acceptance.**

Patrick turner dropped his bag near the door and sighed, he could never rest easy without knowing that if he was called out during the night, he could run out of the house, picking up his battered bag as he did.

He walked into the kitchen, the only light source in the dark house. He could hear movements in the room and thought that timothy was in there. He pushed the door open and gasped softly. "Shelagh." He said.

She was stood at the sink, washing the dishes; she looked up as he walked into the room and smiled. "Hello Patrick." She said.

He swallowed, she was wearing the skirt suit that she had worn on the day he had proposed to her, he loved that outfit, it suited her, she had her hair in a lose plait that hung past her right shoulder. "I thought you'd gone." He glanced at his watch; it was nearing her time to get back to the convent. "What are you still doing here?" he asked and walked over to her, he leant against the worktop. It wasn't like her to still be here.

"I came by a few hours ago, you were out on call I assume. But I found timothy crying in the sitting room." She said and dried her hands on a tea towel. She took his gently. He knew something was wrong.

"Oh? Is he alright?"

She shook her head. "One of the boys was picking on him today and timothy took it to heart."

"Doesn't he always?"

She smiled at that and he smiled, he knew how to make her smile. "He's such a caring boy." She said and locked her eyes with his; she leant forward and loosened his tie. "Just like his father."

He chuckled. "What was he crying about?" She was quite for a moment, rubbing her fingers over his knuckles. He moved closer. "Shelagh? Tell me, please my love." He said.

Her head was bent, she wasn't looking at him. She breathed out a sob. "The boy said that timothy didn't have a proper mum anymore." She said and finally looked up at him, her eyes glazed with tears.

"Oh sweetheart." He said and pulled her close. "Is he alright now?" he asked, rubbing his hand over her back.

She was trembling. "Yes, he's asleep." She said and drew back; he wiped her tears away with his thumb and cupped her face. "I know that timothy wouldn't tell you so that's why I waited. I just thought you should know." He nodded. "Don't say anything to him. He will be embarrassed."

"I won't my love, but thank you for telling me."

"Timothy called me mum." She whispered.

He sighed happily; he had waited for that for so long. Timothy accepted her. "Is that alright?"

She smiled. "Yes, it's something I have wanted to hear for such a long time."

He smiled back. "Good."

"Do you think you can make some time for timothy?" she asked. "I know that you are so busy but…"

He cut her off, he had too. "Of course I can Shelagh. Of course." He said and pulled her close once more.

They stood like that for a few moments. Then she shifted. "I should be getting back to Nanatous, it's nearly time and sister Evangalina will have my head if she catches me creeping in late." She said.

"Let me give you a lift." He offered.

She smiled. "If it's not too much trouble?"

He kissed her lips, they had not kissed at all that day and he wanted her so badly. He pressed his forehead to hers. "Anything for you my love. Anything at all." He whispered. He felt her smile and he kissed her again.

 **Late.**

Sister julienne heard the door open and close just after 9pm, she knew it was Shelagh; none of the other nurses were out on a call. Shelagh should have been back an hour ago, it was most unlike her and sister julienne began to worry.

She looked towards the door as she crept in, sister julienne saw instantly that something was not right. She opened her mouth to speak, however sister Evangalina had other thoughts that needed to be said.

"And what time do you call this Shelagh?" she said.

Shelagh blushed. Sister julienne saw Trixie, jenny and Cynthia all lower their heads and they had gone quite red also. "I-I am sorry sister but..."

"Sorry is not good enough, you are one hour late!" sister Evangalina boomed. "You should be keeping a closer eye on the time instead of flouncing off with dr turner!"

"Sister Evangalina!" sister julienne said, she stood up. She was horrified. Everyone knew that she was not convinced of Shelagh and Patrick's relationship but she had not expected such an outburst. Shelagh gave a little squeak and ran off down the corridor. She watched in horror.

Sister Evangalina had gone quite red. "I want you to apologise to Shelagh. There was no need for such an outburst sister. Something is wrong and you should be ashamed of yourself." She said and glanced at the nurses. She walked to the door. "I have never been so ashamed or disappointed in your sister Evangalina." She said. She nodded to the girls and they all quickly scarpered out of the room to find Shelagh.

She went to her room first and sent the girls to check around Nanatous house. She knew that she would properly be there or the chapel where she would check next. She knocked on the door, she could hear sobbing already. "Shelagh? It's only me my dear. May I come in?" she said. She heard a very muffled yes and let herself in.

She was curled up on her bed, tears running down her checks rapidly. Sister julienne felt so angry and so concerned at the same time. Sister Evangalina had made her little girl like this, she wanted to do something and had to fight against her actions to go and attack her.

Instead, she sat down on her bad and drew her into her arms. Shelagh was crying very hard and clung to her for dear life. It was breaking her heart to see her like this. Her little girl was crying so hard, she wanted to stop the pain and make the tears go away.

It took a while for Shelagh to calm down and to steady her breathing and stop her tears. She did not move anyway from her embrace. Sister julienne stroked her golden hair. "What's wrong my dear? Tell me why you were late?"

Shelagh sniffed and shifted in her arms. "There was a problem with timothy. I found him crying at home in the sitting room. Something had happened at school and he had taken it to heart. I wanted to wait and tell Patrick when he got home so I could tell him what had happened. I didn't know how late he was going to be sister, really I didn't. Patrick gave me a lift home so I didn't have to cycle home." She said her voice was very shaky.

"I see." She said and took her hand. "Shelagh I am not angry or cross with you for being late, I was just getting worried. It is not like you to be late so I knew something was wrong before you came home."

"I am sorry sister." She said.

She squeezed her hand. "Don't apologise my dear, you had your reasons and I understand." She said. "And I am sorry for sister Evangalina outburst; I have had words with her."

"Thank you. It scared me to be honest." She said and wiped her tears away from her pale skin and her icy blue eyes that were just starting to clear and brighten once more.

"Yes well. She did not have to speak out of turn like that." Shelagh smiled. "Now, I think we should go and find the nurses, they have all been looking for you."

Shelagh smiled. "I will have to be fussed over then."

Sister julienne smiled back. "I should think so my dear. You deserve some fussing over," she said and squeezed her hand once more to give the young woman confidence. She was no longer angry, but she was worried about Shelagh, mothers' instinct she thought.

 **The anti-natal clinic.**

Shelagh walked into the parish hall early the next day, she had been avoiding sister Evangalina all morning and was thankful that she was on call and out of Nanatous house for most of the day, but now she would have to work with her for a few hours until she could go to Patrick's for the evening. She had agreed to help timothy with a school science project and was glad to help, she knew that the young boy appreciated her help and she was happy too. Patrick was trying to make time but there was a baby boom in poplar and more and more people seemed to be picking up bugs and diseases. This meant that making time for the boy was not an option. It was a good way to bond anyway.

She walked into the kitchen and smiled openly. "Hello Patrick."

The good doctor looked up and smiled back at her. "Hello Shelagh." He said and chuckled. "Gosh, it seems like we are addressing each other for the first ever time, just like when I proposed to you."

She walked over and got his hand. She wrapped her fingers around his, stoking his fingers gently. "And that was the happiest day of my life." She said.

He smiled and pulled her closer, his hand on her hip. He bent his head and their lips met, she deepened the kiss, letting his open her lips. She had let go of his hand and had one hand on his chest, the other on his neck, she could feel his pulse, it was fast, and it was always fast when they kissed.

He drew back. "How bad was it last night?"

"I got scolded badly and ended up fleeing to my room." She said.

His eyes widened and he gasped. "By sister julienne?" he asked.

She laughed. "She'd never do that." She said and looked down at their hands; he had entwined his fingers with hers. "No it was by sister Evangalina."

"Really?" he said and met her eyes, his brown ones were concerned. "She made you cry?" he said, more softly.

She nodded. "Apparently I should be keeping a better eye on the time instead of flouncing off with you."

She saw him frown. "Bitch." He mumbled.

"Patrick!" she said socked, it was the first time she had heard his swear and it was about one of his colleagues.

"What? She is, if she said that to you. She had no right."

"Yes well, sister julienne had words and she is meant to apologise but I shall never see that day." She said.

"Shall I have a word?"

She shook her head. "It will only make matters worse." She saw hurt flicker in his brown eyes. "But thank you anyway darling." She added and brought her lips to his.

"I don't want you upset. It breaks my heart." He mumbled.

"Oh Patrick." She said, tears forming in her eyes. "I love you."

She felt his smile as they kissed. "I love you so much my darling girl." He cupped her face and kissed her passionately. She melted in his arms, she always did. She pulled at his clinical coat and deepened the kiss.

Then the sound of the parish door made them pull away, the nurses and nuns came into the hall, she saw sister Evangalina look through the window at them. She looked away; she looked at Patrick who had a frown on his face. She laughed and he in turn chuckled. He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed the engagement ring.

But then, everyone began getting ready for the clinic and they both knew they had to get to work.

 **After the clinic.**

"Cup of tea nurse?"

"Oh yes please doctor."

Patrick put the kettle on boil and took his fiancée's hands. He glanced through the serving hatch at the women in the hall, some of them watching, some being discreet but he could tell. They were quickly becoming quite the celebrity couple, he wasn't ashamed of being out in public with Shelagh, and she was getting more and more confident now anyway.

But he knew that the mothers and mothers to be loved their relationship, he had heard a few of them talking.

Shelagh was a new woman now she had left the order and he was so thankful that she did, it was the best decision of her life, and she assured him. He knew that he was not worthy of her for she was young and beautiful and he was old and worn out, but she never noticed. She had told him before that she did not care about the age difference as she loved him with all her heart; he had said the same thing.

He poured the cups, a few extra for the nurses and nuns who were busy clearing up the hall. Jenny and Cynthia came into the kitchen. Shelagh was stood closer to him, their hand on the counter. She did not move when they came in and seemed at ease talking to them. He loved that about her, her ability to carry on as normal even when she was with him, they had to get used to it she had said and he agreed with her for they would be seeing the pair on a regular and daily basis. The nurses were especially excited about their relationship and he could see why. Shelagh was in the habit and wimple for 10 long years.

He watched as sister julienne picked up a box of rubbish, she winched as she picked it up, Shelagh let his hand go and stepped forward. "Do you want a hand sister?" she asked. Patrick smiled, she was so considerate.

Sister julienne smiled. "Thank you Shelagh." Together, they lifted the heavy box up, Shelagh looked back to see if she was alright to leave him for a moment and he smiled. Of course, he didn't mind being with the young nurses. He enjoyed their company immensely.

"Are you excited about the dance on Friday doctor?" Cynthia asked.

He took a sip of tea. "Oh yes, it's been years since I've been to a dance, Shelagh is so excited. I just don't want to embarrass her." He said, comfortable enough to express his feelings to the young midwives.

"I'm sure that won't happen doctor, wait till you see Trixie dance." Jenny said, raising her eyebrows and smiling.

"I did hear that jenny lee!" Trixie shouted from across the hall. "Wait till you see jenny hide from anyone who asks her out."

Jenny blushed and he smiled. "Now that was a bit uncalled for nurse franklin."

"Well I am not the only one." Trixie came up to the window and leant against the wood; she raised her eyebrows and tilted her head to the right where sister Evangalina was stood.

"Is Shelagh alright now doctor? She was very upset yesterday." Cynthia said.

He nodded. "Yes, thank you Cynthia. I was quite shocked when she told me earlier."

"It was so awful to witness." Trixie said. "Shelagh crumbled, it was just horrible."

Then, they all fell silent. A blood curdling scream echoed through the hall, they all looked at each other in alarm. He put his cup down and ran out of the kitchen following the midwives. Sister julienne stumbled through the door, just managing not to fall down the steps. She had blood running down her face, her dress was torn, her wimple mud splatted and ripped.

They all rushed over to her, and then panic ran through him. "Shelagh!" he said. "Where is she?!"

Sister julienne gasped. "They took her. She said.

He bent down and quickly examined her, she stopped him. "I can wait. Now go and find her, make sure she is safe Patrick. Go." She said breathlessly, tears running down her face, the other midwives around her.

"Doctor Turner, go and find your fiancée now!" he turned and stared at sister Evangalina, tears in her eyes. "We can manage perfectly well. Go!"

And he did, he ran out of the parish hall, picking up his coat as he did. He prayed for her safety. He got outside and looked around, she was nowhere to be seen, but he saw her glasses on the floor, smashed and broken. He picked them up and a sob came out of his mouth. It would surely kill him if he lost her again.

 **The attack.**

Sister julienne was shook up but had escaped serious injury. She had a cut on her check and a sprained ankle, no more. She had given a report to the police and by the next day, the gang of boys were caught, this gave her some comfort.

However, there had been no trace of Shelagh. The boys had dragged her away.

She had slept and woke up the next morning, her head was pounding. She sat up slowly. She looked at jenny next to her. "Have they found her?" she asked.

Jenny shook her head. "No sister."

She gasped. And then prayed.

"They will though sister, dr turner left the convent straight after breakfast along with peter, Fred, Cynthia and Trixie."

She sighed. "Yes, yes of course. I should get up."

"Sister Evangalina told me that you are not to leave the bed today sister."

She frowned. "Jenny, you will be worn out before the day is over, you need me."

"Sister, you've got concussion and a sprained ankle. We can manage without you today." She said kindly.

She didn't have much strength to argue or fight back; she lay back down and closed her eyes.

"Shout for me if you need me sister, I will be in the sitting room." Jenny said and she left the room quietly and she slept again. She could forget everything for a while and just sleep, things would be clearer after, she knew it. And Shelagh would be found she would be safe once more.

 **Waking up.**

Shelagh awoke slowly the next morning. The attack had left her very shaken up. They had torn her blue dress and cut her arm and leg. She had no money on her, so they stole the necklace that Patrick had given her for their 1 month anniversary.

She had managed to get away; she had stumbled to the convent and hid in the bike sheds right in the corner. She slept there, not walking until the late morning sun woke her up.

She found that she couldn't move, her legs hurt painfully and her back was killing her.

She wanted Patrick. She needed him so badly. She thought she was going to die. But then she heard voices and footsteps. She heard Cynthia and Trixie's voices.

"Trixie stop!" Cynthia said. "There's someone there!"

She heard footsteps. She was lying on the concrete curled up, her hair over her face.

"Hello?" Trixie said. "It's alright, we can help you."

"Trixie?" Shelagh said weakly and lifted her head. She reached out.

"Oh Shelagh!" Trixie said and tripped her hand. She was safe now, she knew she would be alright now and she would see Patrick again. She had too.

 **Shelagh.**

"Doctor, come quickly. We've found her!"

Those were the words that Patrick turner had been waiting for since yesterday at the clinic. He stared at up at Cynthia miller and then raced up the stairs outside the convent as quickly as he could. They had found her. They had found his darling Shelagh

He had looked all over poplar with the help of Fred, peter and the young midwives. He had looked long into the night, not giving up. But his body went against his mind and his heart and soon he had to retreat back to the convent and got a few hours' sleep. Young timothy was distraught. Who could blame him? Patrick felt like his heart was ripped out, he thought he might die of the pain. But he walked into the convent quickly and there she was, sat on the couch, a bath being prepared in front of her.

He couldn't hold back the tears. He moved swiftly over to her and saw the damage. She was covered in blood, oil and mud. He didn't know the extent of her injuries quite yet.

But that didn't stop him from hugging her to his body. "Shelagh, oh my love." He said.

She melted in his arms, her arms clutching him tighter than she ever had before. "Patrick, don't leave me."

"I won't darling, never am I going to leave you." He said and she buried her head into his shoulder and cried harder. "It's alright my love, you're safe now." He said.

He pulled back and saw the pain in her eyes. He wanted to take all the pain away, he simply couldn't bear it. He dragged his eyes away from hers and met sister juliennes eyes, they too were blotchy and red. "I'm sorry doctor but we need to let Shelagh have a bath. Would you mind waiting in the kitchen? I'm sure one of the midwives will make you something to eat and drink." She said. He noticed that her voice was crisp, and then he remembered that she too had been involved in the attack, she seemed to have escaped with minimum damage.

He swallowed. Of course, they wanted to jeep Shelagh decent. He was a gentleman of course and would never act too inappropriate before their wedding. It was the best thing to do, given the circumstances. "Of course sister." He said. He had too, he could hardly say no.

But Shelagh hand tugged at his jacket, he turned to look at her, tears still running down her face. "Please. Patrick. Don't leave me. I need you." She whispered.

He cupped her face gently, no longer caring about the nuns and nurses around him, he didn't care. All he wanted is to stay with her, but he knew that was not appropriate. "Shelagh I will be right outside. I will not leave you but this time, I have too." He said softly. "You will be alright. It won't be for long my love and I will come back okay?" he said.

She nodded, her breath ragged. "Alright. Just come back." She whispered through her tears.

"Of course my love. I promise you." He said, he so wanted to kiss her but she was in such a state that he thought against it, besides, half of the inmates of the convent was in the room.

He left the room before he had change to change his mind and walked briskly to the kitchen, there was no one in there thankfully. He had a few moments to recover and calm himself. He was scared, really properly scared for the first time in many years. And he hated the feeling so much.

 **Making plans**

Sister julienne knocked softly on Shelagh door the next day. She was recovered in terms of health but mentally, she could be having nightmares for a long time to come. She opened the door slowly. "It's only me my dear, you've got a visitor."

She walked into the room and let Patrick turner, who was stood behind her, into the bright room. She watched as he hugged her tightly and made to leave. She thought she would give the couple some space for they had no real time together since Tuesday. They deserved some time.

"Sister?" she turned at Shelagh voice and smiled at her. She was cleaner now, she had concussion, a sprained arm and leg and had contracted pneumonia. "Could you sit with us for a while?"

"Don't you want some time together?" she asked, wavering at the door, her hand clutching the cold metal of the door handle.

"We have been discussing some wedding plans and we want your impute on the affair, before the nurses get wind and want to put their opinion on it." Shelagh said.

She smiled, pride swelling in her heart. She pushed the door close, so no one would disturb them, well hopefully. She sat out the bottom of her bed and sighed happily as she watched the couple. Patrick had pulled her close and she leant against him, his arm around her shoulder and their hands entwined together on the bed clothes. "We thought, with everything that had happened that we could do with something to cheer us up and have something to look forward too." Patrick said, speaking for the first time since he came to her office and asked if he could see Shelagh for a while. It must have taken some courage for him to go to her she thought as their eyes met.

"Of course." Sister julienne said and clasped hr. hands.

"We have decided a date." Shelagh said, sister julienne smiled and nodded, letting her go on. "We think a winter wedding might be best. The 20nd of December." She said.

"That sounds perfect." Sister julienne said.

"We have decided that all the nurses should be bridesmaids and the peter and freed will be the best me." Shelagh said.

Sister julienne saw the young midwifes grip on Patricks hand tighten. She nodded again.

"Nut we were thinking sister... if you would give me away." Shelagh whispered this time.

Sister julienne opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. She was overwhelmed. No one had ever asked her and frankly, she was taken aback. She didn't know how to respond, tears welled up in her eyes.

Shelagh looked shocked. "You don't have to sister! We only thought as I don't have any close family anymore that…"

Sister julienne found her voice again and laughed, cutting her off. "Shelagh, I would be honoured to give you away!" she said and blinked back the happy tears.

She watched as both Shelagh and Patrick sighed with relief, their expressions changing instantly at her words. She knew that they would make the most perfect couple. "You took me by surprise, that's my entire dear. But yes, I would love to, thank you so much for asking me." She felt as if her heart was going to burst with pride for Shelagh.

Shelagh laughed. "Of course we were going to ask you, I don't think that sister Evangalina would have agreed to it if we asked her." She said.

Sister julienne laughed. She was happy that her little girl was on the mend, it cheered Patrick up no end as well, and she could see it in his eyes. And she felt that the last few days' events had just disappeared from memory.

She was so looking forward to the wedding now, she already knew that everyone including sister Evangalina, would go out of their way to make it absolutely perfect for the couple, simply because they deserved it.

 **Back to work**

A week after the attack, Shelagh had enough of bed rest, her sprains had recovered and she was ready to start working again, however, Patricks and sister julienne had agreed that she was not be be going back to work for another week at the very least.

She knew she was fine; luckily, the pneumonia had not affected her lungs in any way. She was alright to go back to work. However, the next morning, she woke late in the morning. But she put her blue dress on and was soon out of the door and going down to the kitchen.

"Shelagh?"

She stopped in her tracks. She knew that voice anywhere. She turned round slowly on her heel and faced her fiancée.

"Back to bed with you." He said softly.

"Please Patrick; I simply can't bear in anymore." She wined.

"I know my love, but it is for the best."

"For who? Because it is not doing anything for me anymore." She said.

He chuckled and walked closer to her. "How you coped in the sanatorium for all the months, I do not know." He said. "Now please, back to bed."

"Patrick, we both know I am alright now. I can't bear that everyone is wearing themselves thin without me. It's horrible and I simply can't bear being in that room for one more day."

"I know my love, but what if you get ill again?" he said softly and picked up her hands in his.

She pulled them away. "I am not going to break Patrick! Don't treat me like a doll." She said, not knowing why she was angry. But then she saw his eyes drop, hurt flickering across his face. She hugged him. "Oh Patrick. I am so sorry." She whispered.

He held her tight and she heard him sniff. He pulled away so they could see each other again, his eyes watery. "It's alright. But I can't bear it if you got ill again Shelagh. I thought I was going to die last week. The thought of losing you again was almost too much and it scared me so much. What would I do without you darling? It might actually kill me if I lost you." He said and stoked her check; she blinked back the tears back.

"Okay. Alright Patrick. I'm sorry." She said and kissed him, melting as their lips met. She pulled away for a moment. "I can't go back to my room but I won't go on call. Am I allowed to go some work around the convent? Doing housework and any paperwork?" she asked.

He smiled tenderly at her. "Of course. Just don't wear yourself out darling." He said.

She smiled, thankful that she could make herself useful. She then stops and thinks. "What are you still doing here?"

He chuckles. "I and Tim have been staying here for the week, neither of us wanted to leave you." He said.

She felt guilt wash over her. "You didn't have to." She said.

"Yes, we did. There was no way I was going to leave you, no way at all. I know that you are in safe hands but I wanted to stay here, it put my mind at rest, as well as timothy's." He said.

She smiled. Timothy had been a regular visits and she loved spending time with him. "Thank you." She whispered and hugged him once more.

 **The dining room.**

Everyone at Nanatous house thought that a proper dinner was in order after Shelagh quick and full recovery. Patrick couldn't agree more. The residents at the convent had been so generous to the turner family and he felt that they were all in their debt for they have given up a room for timothy and him and let them see Shelagh whenever they wanted; they cooked meals for the pair and made sure they were looked after. Timothy was ravishing in the attention, but all Patrick could think about was Shelagh.

The party had just finished dinner and they all moved to the sitting room, he hung back with Shelagh and timothy, they made a start on clearing the table and Shelagh walked with timothy to make a start on the washing up. Sister julienne approached him with a smile on his face. "You don't have to do that doctor." She said softly. She too was alright now, she had recovered long before Shelagh but he knew that mental effects that were affecting her. Many a night he saw her light on into the early morning when he passed if he was called out. It seemed that work did not stop for him during the last week, but he had only been called out in the most serious cases, another of the residents caring gestures that he was so grateful for.

He smiled. "Nonsense sister. We all felt that we should do something to give something back. After all, you have all been so generous to us." He said and picked up another plate.

She stopped him just as he reached for it, she got hold his hand and held it in hers. He swallowed; this was the first time they had touched on purpose. He felt uneasy as he met her gaze.

"Patrick, you are most welcome here any time, you all are. And trust me when I say that. It is me who should be in debt to you, not the other way around. We have done as any family would have done, we look after one another." She whispered.

This brought tears to his eyes; he saw them too in the elder nuns' eyes. He squeezed her hand. "Thank you sister." His whispered, barely audible, but he knew she heard it.

She smiled at him. "I am here if you ever need or want to talk Patrick. Whenever you need someone other than Shelagh. I am here."

He smiled, deeply touched. "Thank you."

Then timothy came running in, their clamped hands broke apart quickly. "Mum wants the rest of the dishes dad." He said.

He glanced at sister julienne and smiled. It was the first time she had heard timothy call Shelagh mum. He saw the pride written on her face, tears yet again in her eyes.

"Yes. Thank you Tim. You can go in the sitting room now, thank you for your help." He said.

The buys face lit up. "Thank you dad!" he said. Patrick ruffled his hair as he ran past. The young lad was growing up. He looked back at sister julienne. "I'd better go and help Shelagh or she might have my head later." He said, gave one last smile to her and picked up the crockery, then walked to the kitchen.

 **Blacking out.**

Shelagh smiled as her fiancée walked through the door into the kitchen. She wasn't happy about doing the washing as she was feeling faint and quite sick. But both Patrick and timothy agreed that they should do something and she could hardly protest. After all, the inmates of the convents had been generous; there was no argument about that. He put the crockery and cutlery into the bowl.

She sighed and got to work. She had to lean against the worktop to keep her steady. She put the crockery on the draining bored, trying her best to grip it hard so that she didn't drop anything on the metal draining bored.

"Are you alright darling?" he asked.

She had been waiting for this question for a few moments. He had seen her hand shaking.

"Yes." She said and sunk her hands back into the hot water. She didn't look at Patrick, she couldn't.

"Shelagh." He said.

She closed her eyes, she was aware of her breathing becoming heavier and fast.

"Shelagh. Please."

She forced her eyes open and stared at him. "I am fine." She said breathlessly. She carried on washing the dishes, fully aware of his eyes on her.

Luckily the rest of the day ended quickly. Shelagh concentrated on not passing out. She knew that Patrick had told sister julienne about his concerns after they had done the washing up. She had been fussed over enough. She needed some space.

She made her way to her room slowly, her heard was spinning, her breathing fast once more. She touched the wall and tried to regain some of her balance. She leant against it and pushed her back against it. She heard fast footsteps; she turned her head to see Patrick walking towards her. "Shelagh"

"Patrick." She said simply, trying to focus on him, her vision began to blur, she blinked rapidly.

"Shelagh, why won't you admit there is something wrong with you?" he said.

She breathed out hard, pain ripping through her head; she lowered her head, screwing her eyes together. "I'm fine Patrick, just let me be."

"Shelagh please." He said and walked towards her a few more paces.

"I said let me be!" she said. She looked at him, hurt written across his face, his mouth slightly open.

She gasped and took deep breaths. She could bear it. The hurt on his face. It broke her heart. Had she really said that? She wasn't angry, not really. How could she have come across like that? He was only concerned. She couldn't blame him. She pushed off against the wall and took a few staggered steps. The hallway was spinning and was becoming harder to see, she felt her knees buckle and her eyes closed.

 **Saving her.**

"Shelagh!"

He said it even before she fell to the ground; he caught her before she hit the hard tiles. He saved her from further injury. He knelt down and held her against him; he was breathing very hard, tears rolling down his checks.

"Doctor?"

He looked up. Cynthia miller was stood a few steps away, her mouth open, her face just a picture of shock. He cleared his throat the best he could. Go and get sister julienne, Cynthia tell her that it's urgent. And if you see jenny or Trixie, tell them to come here straight away." He said.

She nodded and then ran back down the corridor. He looked down at Shelagh. He checked her pulse, it was slow. Her breathing was laboured. "Shelagh, please, just hold on my love." He said, choking back the tears.

Moments later footsteps approached him, he looked up at sister julienne. Her face white. She knelt down next to him. "I've rung for an ambulance Patrick." She said.

He nodded. She had to be alright. She had to be. He pulls her closer, he feels her start. "Shelagh, it's alright my love. You're safe." He whispered in her ears as she cries out in pain and in fear.

Her diggers her fingers in his shoulders and buries her head in his chest. He pulls her closer to him, as if he was trying to absorb all the pain, all the fear, all the hurt.

"Patrick…I'm…I'm sorry." She whispers.

"It's alright sweetheart." He said and he thought that it would be it might just take a while.

She was slipping away again, he could not do anything to stop her apart from stroke her hair and whisper a few words, inside however, and his heart was being torn to shreds and destroyed.

 **Looking after him.**

Sister julienne gently placed a cup of Horlicks in front of Patrick turner whose head was in his hands.

She sat down next to him in the dark kitchen and sighed. Shelagh had been taken to hospital, no one had been allowed to go with her for one reason or another, they didn't know. Patrick was going to drive, but she pursued him not too and took his keys off him in case he decided to go over there. They agreed that they would go over tomorrow, if they heard anything or not, they would still go over.

Patrick was in no fit state anyway, he had been in tears since she found him in one of the corridors, clutching Shelagh to him. Cynthia had run into her office, she had been thinking about how best to approach Shelagh to ask her if she was alright. She had run with Cynthia to the couple. She hadn't run in many months and was a bit uneasy, but the thought of Shelagh collapsing and Patrick having a breakdown was enough to spur her on, she was a little out of breath but that didn't matter.

She looked at Patrick now, who had now raised his head and was looking at her. She smiled very weakly and nodded down to the cup sat in front of him.

"Thank you sister." He said. It was the first time he had spoken for a while, he had tried to talk her around to let him drive over to the London, but she said that there was no point in any more accidents in their little family and eventually he backed down, realising that she was right.

"It's alright Patrick." She said and watched him take a long drink; it would help him to sleep. It had been arranged for Patrick and timothy to go home that night but she had told him that they could stay for as long as they wanted or was needed. She was content in knowing that they both were fed and overall, well looked after. It put her mind at rest a little.

He met her gaze, she saw in those brown eyes such sadness and pain and fear. "Is timothy alright?" he asked softly.

She swallowed. "Not really, but he is with the nurses in one of their rooms and they will put him to bed soon. I popped in not so long ago and gave him a cup of Horlicks. It will help him sleep." She said, remembering the tears on the boy's face as he sat curled up next to Cynthia.

He nodded. "Right." He said. "Are you sure we can stay here for a few more nights' sister?"

She smiled. "Patrick, we have been over this time and time again and my answer will always be the same. You have to trust me." She said and put her hand on his arm.

She heard him inhale at her touch and he closed his eyes. She did not take her hand away, she moved it down his arm until she reached his hand, she took it ever so gently and in return, he clutched her hand. "I do trust you." He said softly. She watched as tears escaped from his eyes and ran slowly down his face. He looked a little older. He had looked so young over a week ago and now, he looked tired and sad.

She stroked her fingers against his hand. He was a good man, a noble and caring man. He was well respected in the tight knit community and was regarded with the highest honour, he got on with everyone, and it was hard not to like him.

She remembered when they had first stared working together well over 10 years ago. "Patrick" she said gently.

He looked up, his eyes now red and bloodshot. She saw that he was trying ever so hard to stop sobbing.

"Do you know what you said to me the first time we met?" she asked.

He shook his head gently, obviously too overwhelmed to talk, it wasn't very often that the noble doctor lost his voice but she was not surprised, it was to be expected after the day's events.

"You told me that one day, you would make me proud. And that one day you would be in need of help and support. You asked me if I could give you that and I said yes." She said. Remembering the day as if it was yesterday, being in the service of Laura turner and then standing at the grave of the women who was so kind, so caring, then being there for Patrick and a very young timothy, they had stayed at the convent for nearly 3 weeks, they had been looked after well. She recalled Sister Bernadette as she was back then, being there for them both, playing games with timothy to cheer him up, talking to the good doctor whenever he needed a shoulder to cry on. It was a most hard time. "That day has been and gone." She said, gently referring to his first wife passing away more than a year ago, so much had changed in the last year, in the last 2 years in fact.

"But nearly 2 years ago, you asked the same question to me. Would I look after you and timothy if something was ever going to go wrong again and if you was ever need of help and support" she said, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles. "That day has come Patrick and I intend to stick to my promise. You need looking after and so does young timothy. It is not an imposition to ask for help, you must never think that. You have to let go of your pride Patrick, otherwise, this will consumed you and you will slip further and further into depression. And that can't happen. You have a young boy who is fast becoming a young man. And you have a fiancée who will soon be your wife. They need you and you need them." She said.

She had not quite expected that long of a speech to come out of her mouth, but she could not stop, she had to keep going, to get her point across. She did it for herself as well, to reassure herself.

She too needed someone to talk to, to confess and to ask for help, they would both be getting something back this way.

She met Patrick's eyes, full of tears once more. He held both of her hands and leant forward. He kissed her cheek softly. She wasn't expecting it and she felt her checks colour. He smiled at her, to show he was grateful and that he understood what she had said.

She smiled back and squeezed his hands. She could not speak anymore, her voice caught in her throat just as Patrick's had. They sat in silence for a while, both of them lost in their own thoughts, their own world.

 **In the hospital.**

Shelagh opened her eyes. She was feeling much better. However, she knew instantly that she wasn't in her own bed. After a few moments, she took her surroundings in.

She was in hospital.

She swallowed. She had never been a patient before so it was all new to her. She wanted to go back to the safety of the convent. She wanted to hide and to cry her eyes out. She remembered what happened between her and Patrick. She couldn't believe herself. Had she really been like that? She never knew how angry she could get. She was always so quiet when she was in the order; she had no reason to be loud or angry.

Tears welled up in her eyes. How could she have spoken to Patrick like that? She was so ashamed of herself. The hot tears stared to run down her face and she had nothing to wipe them away with, she let them fall.

"Shelagh, don't cry my love."

She gasped and looked to her right, Patrick was sat leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, his hand took hers and he moved and sat next to her. She was pulled close to him, she held onto him and closed her eyes, tears still running down her face and were now dropping onto his jumper.

His arms were around her waist, she could feel his hand on her back, his other arm around her shoulder, his hand rubbing her arm. She buried her head into his neck and sobbed. He was being so nice to her, she didn't deserve it, she deserved nothing, not after the way she treated him.

They stayed like that for a long time. She still had her eyes shut, she felt him gently wipe her tears away with his handkerchief. She was trying so hard not to burst back into tears at his touch. "There now." He whispered in her ear.

"Patrick…" she started.

He cut her off by planting a kiss on her forehead. She opened her eyes and met his gaze, his eyes were red and puffy, and she wondered how much sleep he got last night. She was glad he stopped her for she didn't really know what she was going to say, she could not get the words out.

"I know my love. And it's alright." He said.

"I'm sorry." She said simply as his fingers brushed her skin on her face, she shivered at his touch. He pulled her tighter to him.

"It's alright sweetheart, you have nothing to apologise for." He said.

"But…"

He kissed her lips gently, she wanted to deepen the kiss but he pulled away, it was only a peck on the lips, she needed more. "Nothing Shelagh." He said.

She put a hand on one side of his face and pulled him to her, she kissed him and this time, he didn't pull back, and she deepened the kiss. She was hurting so much; she needed him to take the pain away. It was never this bad when she had been in the lonely sanatorium. The pain in her chest was overwhelming and she thought she might drown in it all.

They pulled back, both of them breathless, it was a good job there was a curtain around them or they might have drawn a lot of attention to themselves.

"Shelagh, are you alright darling?" he broke the silence after a few peaceful moments of silence.

"Yes, I think." She said she had found her voice again. "I just…I..." she said, she could not bring herself to say the words, she felt so guilty.

"Just?" Patrick pressed on the matter; she could see that he was concerned; he always was whenever her health was in question.

"I am so sorry about the way I behaved Patrick, I didn't mean to shout at you." She whispered.

She watched him smile, just a little. "I don't care about that; all couples have arguments my love. All I care about is you." He said and inched his face closer to her. "You have to let go of your pride and allow help."

"Where did you get that line from?" she asked.

"From sister julienne last night." He said and kissed her head. "Am I that easy to see through?"

She giggled. "No. but I know you." She said.

"I love you Shelagh." He said.

She smiled and inhaled quickly. "I love you Patrick." She said and brought her lips to his.

"You'll be alright my love, I promise. And I will be with you every single step of the way." He said, resting his forehead against hers.

"I know." She said and kissed him gently. "I trust you."

 **Being there.**

It was the next day and Patrick had decided to bring timothy with him to the London hospital to see Shelagh. It was only fair. The poor boy had been like a lost dog the last few days, hardly eating, barely sleeping and was silently sobbing most of the time. The boy had dehydrated himself by crying so much had had spent yesterday in bed, Patrick had almost been forcing food and liquids down him, but it was sister julienne, jenny and Cynthia who stepped in and had coaxed the boy into doing as he was told. He was grateful for their help or timothy may have ended up in the same place as Shelagh and he couldn't bear that.

Last night, Patrick had slipped out of his bed and climbed into timothy's. He knew he wasn't asleep, timothy always breathed heavily when he was sleeping. The boy didn't push him out or protest; instead he curled up next to him, resting his head on his chest. Patrick had put his arms round his sons and held him tight. Timothy did not repel him but buried his head into his chest and hugged him back.

"Timothy, I know how you're feeling. But I think it is high time that we had a chat about how we're both feeling. We can help each other." He said, stoking the young lad's mob of brown hair.

"I want mum." He said.

"I know she will be home soon." He said.

"Will she come back here/?"

"She will."

"Will we go back home and leave her here?" he asked.

Patrick continued stroking his hair. "No. not if you don't want to leave her."

"I don't but I know that sister julienne will look after her." Timothy said.

"She will take very good care of her." He said. "But timothy, we will have to go home eventually."

"I know." He said. "But mum will come home with us after the wedding wont she?"

He had forgotten about the wedding. "Yes she will." He said. "Will that make you happy again?"

"Yes. I want mum to be alright again."

"Me too son."

They sat in silence for a moment. He was still brushing his hair with his fingers gently.

"Are you sad dad?"

He had asked the same question just a few months ago, they were sat in the car; timothy had fallen asleep in the back seat. Shelagh, Sister Bernadette back then, had not long been admitted to the sanatorium. He had been sending letters to her most days, but he never got a reply. He had been so worried about her, it had been raining hard, he didn't realise how long he was staring out of the window for, just thinking about Shelagh, until timothy woke up and had asked that question.

It sent shivers down his spine as he remembered the long hurtful months he spent in silence. "Yes, I am timothy." He said at last.

"Is mum sad too?"

"I think she might be. I think she wants to be home." He said.

He could feel the boy dropping off to sleep; he waited until he was fully asleep before gently sliding out of bed and creeping back into his own bed where he fell asleep in moments. Thinking about his fiancée and their future together, their wonderful future as man and wife at last.

The next morning, they walked to shelagh's ward and walked to her bed. Shelagh was sat up in bed reading her bible. He knew something was wrong, her face was tense and her hands were shaking. However, she looked up as they approached the bed and he watched her put a brave face on as timothy ran into her arms. He waited a moment and then sat down on the chair; timothy was sat on the bed with Shelagh.

Timothy had started talking at rather a fast speed. "Timothy, just calm down." He said and gently took shelagh's hand. "Are you alright? He asked.

He saw her tense as she looked back at timothy. "I will tell you later." She whispered and turned back to the boy. "Carry on timothy, so you finished you're art project have you?" she said.

He sat back and let the boy carry on talking at one hundred words per minute. He knew that Shelagh was taking it all in. and he loved her so much for it.

 **Dear girl.**

Sister julienne walked around the endless corridors until she eventually found shelagh's ward. She had been looking forward to seeing the young girl for a while. But she could deny that sense of anxiety and concern as she reached the end bed where Shelagh was sat with Patrick.

She gasped silently, Shelagh was crying in Patrick's arms. He was the first to look up, his face grey and tiredness, guilt and concern written clearly on the doctors face. Something was wrong, something was terribly wrong.

He gently let her go; she tried to stop her tears as their eyes met but sister julienne saw that it was not going to happen in such a quick space of time.

"Shall I go?" she asked softly, she didn't want to make things worse, and they would tell her in their own time.

"No!" Shelagh said through her tears. "No. please don't go sister." She said.

She nodded and sat down on the edge on the bed on the opposite side to Patrick who had moved round a little so they could all see each other. Shelagh got hold of her hand and held it tight in hers.

"What's happened my dear girl?" she asked.

"Th-they…they…" Shelagh started.

Patrick clutched her other hand and sister julienne watched him bring her hand to his mouth, he kissed her knuckles gently. "It's alright Shelagh. Don't get too worked up. I'll explain what the doctors have said." He said. She watched him cup her face and stroke the tears away.

She looked at the doctor, concern and terror running away with her. She could feel herself shaking.

She saw tears in his eyes as his brown eyes locked with hers. "The doctors have done a set of x-rays and tests." He began his voice wobbling. She watched him take a moment, his eyes closed.

She put her hand over his and he clutched it as if his life depended on it.

He took a shaky breath and carried on. "There is no trace of the TB, which is good they said. Shelagh will need to have x-rays every month to check if the lesions do ever come back and she is to come to my sugary is there is any coughing or blood being coughed up." He looked at Shelagh whilst he said the last bit. Sister julienne also looked at Shelagh. Her tears had not stopped, but had eased. She felt him tighten his grip on her hand and looked back at him. "But they have said that the reason that Shelagh collapsed was due to the anti biotics still in her system. By not completing her rest, she aggravated the anti biotics and made her pass out."

Sister julienne nodded slowly and took in what he had said. "They have said that the anti biotics will go over a period of months and the symptoms like sickness and possible blacking out will pass." He said and then took another deep breath. "However, they have told us that the triple treatment may have caused infertility."

She gasped; luckily Shelagh had let out a sob at the same time so she was not heard. She watched tears run down shelagh's face again. She turned her head and looked at Patrick who was trying hard not to let the tears run down his aged face. "They have said that Shelagh may not be able to have children." He breathed out, his voice finally cracking and tears finally made their way down his face. "Excuse me." He said, dropped both of their hands and walked out of the ward.

She sat staring after him for a moment, dithering if she should follow him or not. But she decided not too and looked back at Shelagh who was also staring down the corridor. She moved next to Shelagh and held the young girl to her. "He will come back Shelagh." She said and stroked her hair. She felt pain for her and tears welled up in her eyes. "My dear girl, I am so sorry. I'm sorry sweetheart. I'm here. It's alright Shelagh." She mummed over and over again. "I won't leave you sweetheart." She whispered. "I love you so much." She added on and closed her eyes as Shelagh continued to sob in her arms.

 **A hug and a kiss.**

Shelagh sighed. It was evening now. Sister julienne had gone about an hour ago, she knew that the elder nun had wanted to stay but it was getting late now. The staff had said that she could stay a while longer, but she knew that sister julienne would soon be on call and eh didn't want to make any sort of demand on her to stay.

Patrick had not returned after he left abruptly over 4 hours ago. She wanted him to come back. She knew that he was deeply affected by the news and after thinking about it, she did not blame him for leaving. They had never discussed having a child. She wanted to; she wanted to have his child. But she didn't know if he wanted another one. After all, they had timothy. But she felt that something was missing. Maybe that was a baby; a baby was missing from their life.

She heard footsteps and looked up, air trapped him her throat so she couldn't talk.

"Shelagh." He said and walked towards her; he sat down on the bed and took her hand.

"Patrick." She said and swallowed. "You came back." She whispered.

He smiled. "Of course I came back." He said and he moved, he sat down next to her and put an arm around her shoulders. "Did you think I'd left you?"

She nodded and fell into his embrace. "I didn't think you would come back."

"Oh Shelagh!" he said and hugged her. She needed a hug; it made her feel safe again, like nothing could hurt her. "I would never leave you on purpose my love. I was just too overwhelmed and didn't want to cry in front of you and sister julienne." He said.

She felt him plant a kiss in her hair. "You cried?" she asked and looked up at him.

"Am I not the man you thought I was?" he asked a smile on his lips.

"Patrick turner, you are so much more." She said and cupped his check. "Patrick, please." She whispered after a moment of being lost in his brown eyes.

"What?" he asked gently, his hand over hers and he was brushing the back of her hand softly.

"Kiss me?" she said and met his eyes once more. "Please, I need you."

"We might draw attention to ourselves. Won't you be embarrassed, kissing an old man in public?" he asked playfully.

"You are not an old man." She said and smiled, happy to be sharing a joke with him once more. "Please Patrick, I don't care-"

His lips met hers suddenly; she gasped as he deepened the kiss and held her. She held onto him, feeling as though she might drown and he was keeping her afloat.

He let her go after a few moments, both of them breathless. They leant their foreheads against one another and breathed heavily. "Thank you." She whispered.

She felt him smile. "Not a problem my darling girl." He said. "I love you Shelagh." He said after a moment.

She smiled and hugged him. "I love you so much Patrick." She said.

Finally, things were starting to look up. All she wanted now was to go home and start to get back into a routine. But she knew that Patrick would be with her though out it all. She could not wait until the wedding. It was going to be the best day of her life. And she would do anything to achieve that, anything that would make the day truly magnificent. She knew it would be it would be better than she ever knew was possible.

But for now, she concentrated on recovering. She had to be well enough for the wedding after all. She was looking forward to working again; it would be like the old times.

 **Home again.**

Patrick turner helped Shelagh out of his old MG a few days later. She swayed as she got out and clutched him. After nearly a week of bed rest, Shelagh was a little unsteady on her feet. He held onto her elbow and her arm until she regained her balance. "Alright darling?" he asked after a moment.

She looked up and smiled. "Yes" she said.

He smiled back. The inmates of the convent came rushing down the steps and greeted them. Trixie and jenny helped Shelagh get up the stairs carefully and slowly, Cynthia was stood at the back of Shelagh in case she fell back, he watched them have a break half way up the concrete steps, he saw Shelagh look at him; he smiled at her to show she was alright. She smiled back and soon, she was in the convent.

He walked round to the boot and pulled the cases out. One was shelagh's and the other two were timothy's and his own, they had thought it was best that they got some things from home if they would be staying at the convent for a while longer. He stood by the car, deciding how best to pick all three cases up by himself.

As if by magic, sister julienne appeared next to him, he jumped as their eyes met. She looked better, happier, younger he thought. "Shall I give you a hand Patrick?" she said and smiled at him.

He chuckled softly. "It it is not too much trouble sister?" he said.

"Not at all." She said and picked up one of the cases, it was his, he felt a little uneasy at the thought of her picking up his belongings. "It is the least I can do." She added.

He smiled and shut the boot. He picked up the other two cases and walked with her up the steps. "I must say, it's good to be back here." He said, keeping his eyes in front of him.

"Really?"

"Yes, I think the atmosphere will be better now that Shelagh is home." He said.

"I wanted to ask you Patrick…" she began and stopped at the top of the stairs. "But I would like to discuss it with you in my office, if that is alright."

He nodded. "Of course. Let me put these in the rooms and I will join you in the sitting room."

"Whose case is this?" she asked.

He felt his checks colour. "That would be mine sister." He said and looked down at the tiles in the hallway. "Can you take shelagh's and then I can put mine and timothy's cases in our room." He said.

He looked up and met her gaze, blushing once again. But she merely smiled at him. "Of course." She said and soon he was on the way to their room, he dumped the bags on the beds and made his way back to the sitting room where everyone was sat. sister julienne did not ask him to go to her office straight away so he was able to sit with Shelagh and timothy for a while, enjoying the convocations and the stories that was shared between the nuns, nurses and himself, peter and Fred who had both decide that the family should be together again, after all, it seemed like such a long time since the christening. Patrick felt that everyone was happy, everyone seemed to look younger. It had just stared to rain outside now, Patrick thought it was a good job they had left the hospital when they did and that timothy was not late coming out of cubs or they all would have been soaked to the bone and the fragile way Shelagh was in, he couldn't bear it if she got ill once more. It nearly killed him and he was actually surprised that he was still going.

Shelagh took his hand gently, drawing his attention to her. She had kept him going, they had been there for each other and in turn, they had both come out of these manic few weeks battered but alive. He wasn't a big believer of God but she thanked him every day for spearing Shelagh. He was so grateful, she would be alright, and she would make a full recovery. And there was the wedding to look forward too. Everyone was so excited and it had lifted everyone's spirits up including his own. Yes, better times were coming. He could feel it in the air.

Shelagh gripped his hand, asking him if he was alright. He bent his head and pecked her check to show her that he was, his eyes asked her the same question and she smiled in return, to show that she too, was alright.

She would make every bit the blushing bride. She was beautiful anyway; he told it to her every day, she would never believe it though. After 10 long years of hiding under the habit and wimple, she was never used to go out in public in normal clothes. He knew that she loved her blue uniform, it protected her.

He would always protect her. He had to, it was only fair. He pecked her check again and smiled. He loved her so much and he would tell her that every day too.

They were home again now, back where they belonged, with their colleagues, their friends and more importantly, their family.

 **Questions.**

Sister julienne looked up at the door. "Come in." she said as she heard a tap on the wooden door. She had not been working, she should have been doing, but her mind was in overload at the moment, with all the things to do with Shelagh and several complicated births that had occurred during the week, it was hard to keep on top of everything.

Patrick opened the door and stepped into the room, still with his hand on the doorknob. "I'm sorry if I'm disturbing you sister, it's just that you asked to see me earlier."

She swallowed. How could she have forgotten that? She nodded and smiled at the man.

He closed the door and sat opposite her, she thought how many times they had done this, and the more recent times being more personal and what she was going to talk about was very personal indeed.

"I am sorry if I seem to direct Patrick…" she trailed off, clasping her hands in front of her on the desk.

She watched him sit forward. "Sister, whatever it is, you can talk to me, just as you did to me a few days ago. I'm here." He said catching her eye and holding her in a stare that was so direct, she didn't feel nervous or uneasy anymore.

She smiled weakly and found the strength to carry on talking. "I know that you and Shelagh are not yet married, but I had been thinking about the news that she may not be able to have children and how it will affect you both."

He sighed. "Yes. I mean, Shelagh I think will be very upset."

"And you Patrick?" she asked.

"We have never discussed having children. It would mean the world to us both if Shelagh was able to conceive, but I don't know if she will be ready once we are married. I always thought I was too old to remarry after Laura passed away, let alone have another child." He said.

"Would you want another child? You have timothy."

"Yes, I would." He said and she saw tears well up in his eyes, he blinked them away quickly. "Shelagh thinks the world of timothy and so does he. But it would be one of her own, she loves timothy so much, it would be different with one of her own."

She nodded. "Would timothy accept another child in the family?"

She watched him consider that question for a few moments. "I think so. After all, he has accepted Shelagh in such a short space of time. It would make him happy I think. To have a brother or sister to play with, to look after. He is a good boy but I think that he would benefit from another sibling."

"I suggest that you discuss this with Shelagh when you can Patrick. I think it would reassure her that you are there for her." She said.

He nodded. "Yes. Thank you sister. You have opened my eyes now. I had never thought of any of this and probably wouldn't have done until it was too late." He said softly.

She smiled. "It's quite aright Patrick." She rose to her feet. "Now, I think we should go and find everyone. Hopefully someone has put the kettle on." She said and gently touched his shoulder. "I am here Patrick. Please remember that."

He smiled back at her; she saw that his eyes were bright and deep brown once more. "I know. And the same goes for you too sister julienne. If you ever need to talk or need a shoulder to cry on. I am here. No one has to carry a burden with them. Trust me, I know all about that." He said softly and took her hand; he squeezed it and let it drop again.

She smiled and walked out of the room with him. She felt rather uneasy at his touch, but brushed it aside.

 **Late at night.**

Shelagh turned in her bed once again. She could not sleep. She was tired but for some reason, she just couldn't fall asleep.

She sat up and turned on her bedside lamp. She brushed her fingers through her messy hair and took it out of the lose plait she had always kept it in at night. When she was a nun, she used to wear a cap at night, so it really didn't matter how she had her hair, but now, she made an effort every day to make it look perfect, mainly she did it for Patrick, he loved her hair, and he had told her before. She re plaited her hair and leant back, she sighed. Coming home had been wonderful but it had taken its toll on her.

There was a knock at her door and it opened slightly. Patrick appeared, his face tired and concerned at the same time. "I saw your light on. Can I come in?" he asked quietly.

She smiled. "Of course." She whispered and he crept in. she saw that he was still in one of his shirts and his working trousers. "Did you get called out?" she asked as he sat down next to her, she watched him bend down and take his shoes off. He swung his legs up and sat on the bed clothes, gently pulling her into an embrace. She didn't protest and then rested against him.

"Yes, a mother in Cable Street, nurse franklin and sister Evangalina were there. Nurse Franklin rang me when the mother passed out." He said.

"Was she alright?" she asked looking up at him; she saw that something was wrong. He was silent for a moment, she felt his finger brush her hand, she held onto it. "Patrick? Tell me…please tell me what happened darling."

He let out a ragged breath. "The mother's placenta ruptured." He whispered a tear ran down his face.

"And the baby?" she asked.

"A little girl. We managed to save the baby."

She swallowed. "The mother…did she…?" she asked very gently.

Another tear ran down his face. "We-we couldn't save the mother." He said, letting out a sob.

She pulled him to her, she felt him bury his head in the crook of her neck. She heard him sob gently, she rubbed his back. "I'm sorry Patrick." She whispered.

They stayed like that for a while. Patrick's sobs eased. "I know you Patrick." She said. "There's something else isn't there?" she felt him nod. "Then tell me."

He lifted his head and her eyes caught his. "All I could think about is what you I do if I lost you?" his voice thick with emotion.

"Patrick, you are not going to lose me. How many more times do I need to tell you?" she said and stroked his wet check.

"I know, but sister julienne had asked me today about what if we ever had children, what if it lost you then?" he whispered, fresh tears brimming in his red eyes once more. "How could I carry on without you Shelagh? How would I cope?"

She pulled him close again. "Patrick don't." she said and closed her eyes. They had never talked about having children, she thought he didn't want to, he had timothy after all. But it was clear now and she so wanted to have his child, it would make their lives complete. "We will talk about it in the morning darling." She whispered. "Do you want to stay here?"

"Can I?" he asked, she felt his grip tighten o her back and her waist.

She kissed his forehead. "Of course darling." She said her eyes still closed to stop the tears from falling.

 **Morning.**

Patrick stirred in his sleep and opened his eyes. He caught Shelagh watching him, the sunlight hitting her face and her hair, creating a halo like colour that cast over her. "Morning doctor." She whispered.

He smiled and brushed her check with his fingers. "Morning nurse." He said.

"Are you alright now?" she asked.

He swallowed. "Yes, I think so." He said and caught a strand of her hair; he twisted it round his finger and looked back up at her. "I wonder what the rumours will be once I emerge out of your bedroom?" he said.

She smiled. "Probably that you seduced me." She said and kissed him.

He smiled against her lips and deepened the kiss, he wanted her so badly. He ran his hand down her body and it settled on her hips. He stroked the material of her night dress, he heard her moan against his kiss, he pressed his thumb into the curve of her hips and she gasped. She put her hand on his and drew it away from her hips. "Now, now dr turner." She whispered.

He moaned slightly. "Can't we?" he said and kissed her again.

"What, in Nanatous house? Are you out of your mind?" she asked playfully.

"I must be, after all, you are marrying a washed up, tired doctor." He said.

She pulled away and caught his eyes. "Patrick. I am marrying you because I am in love with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't care what people say about us, I couldn't care less if I'm honest. You are not washed up either. So get those thoughts out of your head or I will make them go." She said.

He sighed and pulled her closer. I love you Shelagh." He closed his eyes. "I love you more than anything in this world. I want to spend the rest of my life with you as well. You are everything and more to me. You've made my life complete again. I love you my darling." He whispered.

He felt her smile. "I love you Patrick. I love you so much." She said and wrapped her arms around him. "If this is what it is going to be like every morning when I wake next to you, then I can't wait for it." She whispered.

"Indeed my love." He said and kissed her lips.

They kissed for a few moments until they broke apart, both of them breathless. "I think we should get up. We have work to do." Shelagh said.

"Don't work too hard today my love. Promise me that you won't go back on call for a while." He said.

"I can't promise anything." She said and sat up.

He sat up and took her hand. "Please Shelagh." He said, concern washing over him.

She smiled. "I'm only teasing darling. Of course I won't." She said. He sighed and smiled back at her. "Now I suggest you go and get cleaned up and put some fresh clothes on." She said.

He looked down; he was still in his work clothes. "Yes, I think I should." He said and got up.

"Haven't you forgotten something?"

He frowned at her. "What?"

"Give me a kiss you muppet. I probably won't see you again until tonight." She said and knelt up on the bed, her eyes locked with hers, they were bright behind her glasses.

He smiled. He walked towards her and swept her up in his arms and kissed her hard, only letting go when she pulled away moments later, both of them breathless and panting. "Go on Patrick, or I really will have to kick you out." She whispered, kissing his check softly.

"I'd like to see you try." He said, kissed her lips one last time and then forced himself to slip out of the room, smiling at her as he did.

 **Nervous.**

Sister julienne was sorting out eh equipment for the antenatal clinic a few days after shelagh's return to the convent. She stopped and rested against the work top. She was glad that Shelagh was home, of course she was, but she had felt that she had been rushed aside by everyone now. She had been there for most of the staff but now, it felt like her job was done. She didn't speak to Patrick as often as she had done and found herself missing his company. She didn't know why, but she enjoyed looking after him.

She shook her head, there was no way she could be anything more to Patrick but a friend. He was happy with Shelagh and she too was happy. It would cause so much pain and hurt. She knew that she was being to like Patrick beyond a professional point of view, she had always had liked him, but now, it was growing into something else.

She heard footsteps, she knew it was Patrick, she knew how he walked. She forced herself to get on with her work; the antenatal clinic would be starting soon.

"Good afternoon sister julienne." He said.

She looked up, her staunch flipped and tightened. "Good afternoon doctor." She said and looked back down, she couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye, she felt her checks colour.

"Is everything alright sister?" he asked.

She swallowed. Did he care? "I am well doctor, thank you." She mumbled her hands shaking as she started sorting out test tubes.

"Sister Julienne, tell me. Please?"

She cleared her throat. "There is nothing to tell." She said. "Is Shelagh not coming to the clinic?"

"No, I told her to stay at the convent with timothy." He said she heard him light a cigarette up. She loved the smell of his cigarettes; they reminded her of her childhood. "Sister, whatever is on your mind, you can tell me." He said. "I thought we agreed to talk, to ask for help when we both needed someone to confide in."

She carried on sorting the equipment out. "We did agree that doctor."

"Then why won't you tell me what is bothering you sister?" he said, she watched him cover his hand over hers.

She took a deep breath at his touch, tears welling up in her eyes. This must have been what it was like for Shelagh, all those months alone, with no one to talk to because it was wrong. It was so wrong. "Sister Julienne." She heard him step closer. She shut her eyes; she couldn't bring herself to look at him. "Please sister, let me look after you like you looked after me a few weeks ago."

Then she heard the door of the parish door open and footsteps. She felt him take his hand away and heard him step away from her. She breathed out, relived that they won't be alone again for a while. She carried on working, but inside, she was a wreck. She had never felt like this before. She didn't want to either. She had only once felt like this and that ended badly when he was killed, she was a mess for months, even years after, she never really got over it. She thought she would never feel like this again, ever.

 **The nurses.**

Shelagh was sat at the kitchen table with Cynthia, jenny and Trixie in the evening after the Tuesday clinic. She got to her feet and put the kettle on boil again. It had been a very busy clinic and they had finished later than usual. The nurses were worn out when they got home only half an hour ago.

"Did I see dr turner creep out of your bedroom this morning Shelagh?" Trixie asked, raising her eyebrows. She liked Trixie, though she did have her ways.

Shelagh merely smiled. "You may have done." She said and looked back at the nurses who were all eyeing her up. "It was nothing like that girls!" she said.

"Oh damn." Trixie said, but she smiled, her expression changed moments later. "Was it the death of the mother in Cable Street?" she asked more sensitively.

She nodded and filled the cups back up with Horlicks. She passed the cups around and sat back down. "He was very upset last night and he needed me. But I can assure you all that nothing happened. Patrick must have fallen asleep. That's why you saw him this morning Trixie."

Trixie nodded. "That's why I saw him go straight to your room when we got in last night. Sister Evangalina was going to stop him but I distracted her. He was very quiet after we lost the mother. Is it because he lost his first wife?"

Shelagh nodded this time. "Yes, and he lost his sister a few years ago." She said, remembering the time in the chapel when they had properly kissed and when sister julienne had seen them. She was Sister Bernadette back then, although it didn't seem that long ago since she last worn the habit. A few weeks at the very least.

"The poor man." Cynthia said.

Shelagh smiled at her and took a dink of her Horlicks. They chattered for a few more minutes, then they heard footsteps and they all watched Patrick turner's walk into the room.

"Am I disturbing you ladies?" he asked a grin on his lips. Shelagh saw that he wasn't wearing his tie, his top 2 buttons of his shirt undone and his sleeves rolled up to show his strong arms.

"Not at all doctor." Jenny said. "There is some Horlicks left if you want it." She added.

Patrick smiled and walked towards them. "Yes thank you jenny." He said and jenny started to get up, she watched Patrick put a hand up. "It's alright. I think I can manage it."

Shelagh smiled. "Well, there really is a first time for everything!" she said and turned around.

Patrick laughed. She loved the sound of his deep laugh. "That's enough of that sweetheart."

She blushed a little. She was still not used to him calling her affectionate names in front of everyone. But that awkwardness would soon pass she thought. "Is timothy in bed?" she asked him as he sat down next to her.

"Well…"

"Oh Patrick!" she said and sighed. She looked at her watch. "It's passed his bedtime! Didn't you make him?" she said.

"I did! But he put up a fight." Patrick said. "I think he's had a bad day at school again but you know that he won't talk to me about it." He raised his eyebrows at the nurses who giggled.

She sighed. "You want me to talk to him about it, don't you?"

He grinned at her. "Am I that obvious?" he said and took one of her hands. "You are much better at these things than me Shelagh, we both know that."

She smiled. "Fine, I'll talk to him." She said and drained her cup. "But and this is a big one, you have to take me to the dance at the Reagan a week next Friday. The girls are going and seeing as though we never got to go to the dance at the Duke's, you owe me."

Patrick smiled and kissed her hand. "It would be my pleasure." He said she saw that his eyes were bright and excited once more. She smiled at him, she was looking forward to the dance, and it would be a wonderful night.

 **The hallway.**

Patrick turner was putting his old brown over coat on a few days later, he smiled every time he put it on, Shelagh sometimes borrowed it and it reminded him about when he found her in the middle of nowhere walking down a road with two suitcases and a handbag, he had put it round her and held it under her chin so she had to look up at him, it had been the first time he had seen her in normal clothes and he had been taken aback. He smiled more and a shiver went down his spine, so much had happened since then and it had only been a few months ago.

He heard footsteps and looked up as sister julienne walked up to him. He had been worried about her for a few days; he noticed that she hadn't been eating, the bags and dark circles beginning to show under her bright eyes, the way she walked instead of her usual light step.

"Sister Julienne." He said and flattened his collar of the overcoat down. "Is all well?"

He saw her swallow. "Yes Patrick. I just…"

"Sister?" he said and frowned.

"Are you terribly busy?" she asked.

He looked at his watch. "Yes, I'm sorry sister, but I'm on duty at the maternity hospital in a short time. Is it important?"

"It can wait." She said and turned on her heel.

"Are you certain sister? I can be late, it's no bother." He said and took a step forward.

"Quite sure." She said and turned her head. "I shall see you later Patrick." She walked of back down the hallway and disappeared a few moments later.

He stood for a moment and frowned. Something was defiantly wrong with her; he had to find out what. But he looked back at his watch, duty calls first. He picked up his bag and headed out of the convent into the cold weather outside.

 **Problem.**

Sister julienne pressed her back against the wooden door of her office leant her head back against it as she tried to catch her breath. She thought she was doing the right thing by going to talk to Patrick, but he had brushed her off which made her even more embarrassed.

He was busy, he always was now. She couldn't really expect him to make time for her, it wouldn't be fair.

She pushed off against the door and sat down in her chair. She leant forward and bowed her head, holding it in her hands, she didn't stop the tears falling down and they hit the desk. What was she thinking, going to Patrick like that? What did she expect him to do? She didn't really know.

The door opened suddenly, making her jump. She gasped and jerked her head up, her vision blurry by the tears. But she could make Patrick out easily. She stood up and brushed the tears away as quickly as she could.

It was too late, he had seen them, and she watched his face tense with concern. He turned and closed the door, leaning one hand on it; he was facing away from her.

She breathed out and steadied her breathing as best as she could. He turned back to her and leant against the wooden door, his hands deep in his overcoat pockets.

"Sister." He said, his eyes held her in such a stare that her heart quickened in her chest. She was rooted on the spot; she put her hand on the desk to steady herself. "When are you going to tell me what is bothering you?" he said, his voice low.

She took a deep breath. "I am fine Patrick." She stuttered on her words. She didn't dare look away from him.

He pushed off the door and walked round the desk to meet her. He stood close to her, his eyes flickering over her, making her feel uneasy. "Don't you dare give me that sister." He said.

She was scared. She had never seen him like this in all the years that they had worked side by side. She took a step back. "It is nothing to worry you over Patrick."

He stepped closer and got hold of her hand. She gasped at his touch. Her eyes filled with tears at the pressure on her hand. He looked down and gently pushed her sleeve of her habit up, he turned her hand and he looked back up at her.

She had been harming herself, not with knives, but she left bruises on her arms. She needed to feel something. Anything, not matter how small it was. She knew that it was wrong; she felt it was bad when she did it. "Sister, what have you done?" Patrick said, breaking her thoughts.

She swallowed. "Patrick…I…" she said she didn't know how to explain herself; she didn't know where to start.

"Why sister? Why have you done this to yourself?" he said, he brushed his fingers over the bruises, she whimpered at his touch.

"I erm, it's been a hard few weeks Patrick." She said.

"You could have come to me sister julienne, you didn't have to do this. I could have helped you." He said, meeting her eye once more. "There is something else." He said, cutting her off. "What is it?"

"There is nothing else." She said and found the strength and courage to pull away from his grasp; she took a few steps away from him, her mind spinning.

She felt him grab her hand and turn her around. "It's me, isn't it?" he said.

She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out.

"It is me." He said her eyes had betrayed her.

"Patrick, you know I will never do anything. It would break shelagh's heart and I can't bear to see her cry. Please, this has to be forgotten." She said, tears welling up in her eyes. "Please Patrick." She added more softly.

He hugged her. "I won't sister julienne. I won't." He said. He let her go a few moments later; he heart was pounding against her chest. "But you should have come to me." He said and then looked back down to her arm. "They will clear up in a few days; just promise me that you won't do it again sister. There is no point in injuring yourself."

She nodded. "Yes. I know that now." She said. "I'm sorry Patrick."

"Don't apologies sister julienne. It will all work out, you'll see." He said smiling at her.

She smiled back, her heartbeat had faded and her breathing was back to normal as if the weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

She knew she would eventually get over this feeling. It would be hard and long road but she would get over it, it will be for the best. She would not tell anyone and she hoped that Patrick would forget in time.

 **Getting ready.**

The last week had flown by and before she knew it, Shelagh was sat on jenny's bed on Friday night and winched as Trixie put another grip in her hair.

"Oh! Sorry Shelagh!" she said.

Shelagh smiled at jenny and Cynthia who were also getting ready, they knew what Trixie was like doing hair and Shelagh had the joy of experiencing it. "No, it's alright Trixie." She said as Trixie pushed another grip into place and she winches again, she wasn't used to having so many pins in her hair, but it was something she would have to get used to.

She looked over at Cynthia, and jenny. They all looked wonderful. Cynthia was in a light green dress with matching heels that were only an inch tall. And jenny was wearing a pale yellow dress, much to the same style to her own dress.

Trixie finally finished doing her hair and she was handed a mirror, she took in her appearance and smiled. Trixie had put it up and then it coiled down in ringlets. It was simple but it looked brilliant. She looked over her shoulder at Trixie who was smiling at her. Trixie was dressed in her back dress that Shelagh remembered that she had worn when she was still a nun, Cynthia had been following a case when both the mother and baby passed away and she had been there for the husband. "It's beautiful." She said and turned her head to look again in the mirror. "Thank you." She said and squeezed her hand.

Trixie stood up and walked over to jenny. Shelagh stood up and brushed down her skirts. She had gotten the dress especially, Trixie had come with her. It was Trixie who picked it out and Shelagh had fallen in love with it. It was a deep blue colour; it went past her knees and had sleeves that went to her elbows. She would be wearing a coat as the weather wasn't all that warm outside.

She looked up and saw that all the nurses were looking at her. She laughed uneasily. "Well?"

"You look beautiful Shelagh!" jenny said and she hugged her. "You'll set me off and I've just done my make up!" she added and let her go.

"Dr Turner will be stunned." Cynthia said her eyes full of tears too.

"I approve Shelagh! You look wonderful!" Trixie said and she too hugged her.

Shelagh grinned. "Never mind you jenny, I will be a wreck in a minute!" she said, taking her glasses off and dabbing at her eyes carefully. Trixie would have killed her if she removed any of it.

There was a knock on the door, jenny opened it and sister julienne stepped forward, her face a picture of shock. "Oh, you all look wonderful!" she said. Shelagh smiled. "Are you all ready?"

"Oh yes sister. One of the perks of Shelagh being engaged to dr turner is that we get a lift in his car instead of catching the bus and freezing to the bone." Trixie said.

Shelagh gasped. "Trixie don't!" she said and raised her eyebrows at sister julienne.

"I'm only teasing!" she said and picked up her hand bag. "Now can we go?"

 **Stunned.**

Patrick was knelt down in front of timothy in the main hallway of Nanatous house, "now promise me you'll be a good lad for chummy and peter, timothy." He said and ruffled his hair. The boy was growing up alright; it had scared Patrick when it hit him like hitting a brick wall.

"Yes dad, for the last time." He said.

He smiled and they both looked up at the sound of footsteps and chatter. Trixie and jenny were leading the small group, they looked wonderful, Patrick thought. He had only really seen them in their work clothes so it was a surprise.

But then Shelagh came into view walking with Cynthia and sister julienne and he was lost for words. He was stunned. He never thought he would see her like this, but now she stood in front of him, dressed like an angel. He never thought he could love her more than he could in that moment.

He slowly got to his feet, opening his mouth but no words came out, all words escaped him. Finally their eyes met and he smiled at her and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Wow mum, you look amazing!" timothy said and ran to her. He almost knocked her over, but she regained her balance and hugged him back.

"Thank you timothy!" she said and planted a kiss on his head. "Now you are a good boy for me alright?"

"I know, I will. Dad has already given me a lecture." The boy said.

Patrick blushed and looked over at the three nurses who laughed.

"Well you should listen to him." Shelagh said and caught his eye again. "He knows what he's on about, most of the time." She said and smiled at him, her eyes bright behind her glasses.

"I think that is our cue to leave, don't you think doctor?" Trixie said and tottered to the door.

He cleared his throat, finally getting the way Shelagh looked and he could speak again. "I agree Trixie." He said and walked towards Shelagh and timothy. She bent down and kissed his check. Patrick ruffled the boys' hair and then took shelagh's hand.

"Have a good night!" sister julienne said and waved them off.

They all walked out the door and into the late afternoon sun. It wasn't that cold outside, but Patrick was worried about shelagh's health, he gripped her hand. "You look absolute stunning darling." He said as they reached the half-way point on the concrete steps.

Shelagh stopped and caught his eyes. "Do you really think so?" she said and then looked down at her dress.

He lifted her chin up with his fingers and gently cupped her face as their eyes met again. "I don't think so darling. I know so." He said and kissed her lips.

They stood like that for a few moments. He could believe that she was soon to be his own. Any fool could see that she was a beauty and any sane fool would trip over when they saw her out of her work clothes, he know that he would have done. He deepened the kiss and held her close to him.

"Will you two hurry up? It's not that warm you know!" Trixie said her voice light with excitement.

They broke apart, both of them breathless; they stared in each other's eyes. "I love you so much Shelagh." He said.

"I love you Patrick." She said and she smiled. He loved her smile. Everything about her was just perfect; he couldn't get enough of her.

Reluctantly, they continued down the steps and to his old MG, he helped her in and then got in himself.

 **Dancing.**

The hall was thriving with people, there was so many. Shelagh felt a little uneasy as they walked into the hall and tried at hang back, but there were so many people around them, she had to keep moving. Trixie had got them a table in a corner and she sat down thankfully.

"Are you alright?" she turned to see Patrick sitting down next to her, his eyes warm and concerned.

She smiled at him and took his hand. "Yes, just a bit overwhelmed over the amount of people." She said.

He frowned. "We can go if you want to Shelagh. I can pick the girls up later. We don't have to stay.|" he said.

"No, I want to stay. She said and leant towards him. "You owe me remember." She whispered.

She watched his face light up. "I did, you're right." He said. "But if you want to go, just give me the word." He added.

"Fine." She said and then looked at the girls.

"Can you get some drinks doctor?" Trixie said.

"Oh Trixie, we're not in a formal environment so you can drop the 'doctor' bit." He said

Trixie grinned. "Aright 'doctor'" she said and laughed. "If I call you Patrick at work now, I shall blame it on you!"

He chuckled. "I'll take the risk." He said and then moments later, got up to go to the bar, squeezing her hand as he did.

She smiled and watched him walk over to the bar, being careful to doge people as he walked. He looked every bit like a gentleman. He was wearing his waistcoat and a white shirt, his tie was black to match his work trousers, he didn't have any formal trousers. He looked so smart.

She looked back over at the girls who were all watching her. "What?" she asked and sat back a little.

"You are absolutely smitten about each other." Trixie said.

"Leave her be!" Cynthia said and smiled at her. "Take no notice Shelagh. I think it's wonderful."

She smiled and laughed a little. She still wasn't used to being out in public with Patrick but it was getting easier.

"What do you think then Shelagh?" jenny said, drawing her out of her thoughts.

"It isn't what I expected it to be." She said, glancing round at everyone. "There is a lot more people." She added and looked back at the girls.

"Don't worry Shelagh." Cynthia said. "You will get used to it. I was scared when I first came with Trixie but I really enjoyed it in the end."

"You only came because I made you come!" Trixie said laughing.

She smiled as the girls chattered on, she was waiting for Patrick to come back and protect her for she was feeling vulnerable and scared.

But she saw him walk back over to them, carrying a tray of drinks. She let a breath go that she didn't know that she was holding and smiled at him as their eyes met and he dodged people, not spilling a single drop of their drinks in which she marvelled at. He advanced on them and finally got to their table.

He put the tray down on the table and sat down next to her, putting his arm around her and pulling her close, she relaxed in his arms, feeling safe again.

You alright darling?" he asked as he passed her a glass of bitter lemon, she didn't drink when she went out, she didn't drink much anyway.

"mmm." She said and took a drink. "Patrick, I'm fine." She said as he raised his eyebrows at her. "Trust me." She reached for his hand.

He held her hand tightly. "I trust you with my life Shelagh." He said and then picked her hand up and kissed the engagement ring that she never took off softly. "And I am completely certain." He said more softly.

She grinned at him. The memory of him finding her on that road and saying that he was certain flashed into her mind. He smiled at her; she could see that he was remembering that day too, his eyes were bright and excited.

"Shall we have a dance?" he asked her after a few moments.

She smiled; the music had changed and wasn't as lively as it had been. Although she was worried. She hadn't danced in so many years. "Yes. Go on then." She said after some thought. He offered her his hand and she took it, grinning at the girls who had been watching them closely. They all watched them walk out on to the dance floor.

Patrick put his arms around her and she put her arms around his neck, staring up into his eyes. "I love you Patrick." She said as they slowly danced, each of them keeping in time with the music and with each other.

"I love you so much Shelagh." He said and kissed her lips gently.

She melted in his arms and let go a few moments later. She never thought she could be this happy. She always thought she would just have to live with her feelings for the good doctor. But she was wrong.

Now she looked up at the man she loved and knew that she had made the right choice to leave the order. No matter how much she missed her sisters, she saw love in Patrick's eyes as they danced. She was able to love him and never guilty about her feelings. She could love him and know what she would get it in return.

 **At the table.**

Cynthia Miller took a sip of her drink as they watched Shelagh and Patrick dance. "They look so romantic." She murmured.

She glanced at jenny that was looking wishful. She had been heartbroken twice already and was still getting over them. It must have been hard to watch Shelagh and Patrick. Cynthia reached out and squeezed jenny's hand.

"Yes they do." She said and sighed. She looked at Cynthia and their eyes met. But then her expression changes and she frowned. "Where's Trixie?" she asked.

Cynthia turned and expected to see the blonde nurse next to her, but she wasn't there. "She was here a moment ago." She said and turned back to jenny.

Moments later, Trixie came back up to the table, her eyes bright and she was smiling. She grabbed her drink and took a sip. She too was watching Shelagh and Patrick dance.

"Where have you been?" Cynthia asked her.

Trixie put the glass back on the tray. "There is the gorgeous red head over by the door. I'm in love!" she said, excitement and hoy in her voice as she spoke.

Cynthia glanced over at jenny, raising her eyebrows as she did.

"I'll be back in 5 once I've got him to ask me out!" Trixie said and bounced back over near the door.

Cynthia stared after her and then looked back at jenny; her mouth was open as well. "Only Trixie came be like that." She said and took another drink of babysham.

"Quite." Jenny said. They both looked back over at Shelagh and Patrick. The song was drawing to a close and they made their way back over to the table, both of them were grinning, their eyes bright.

Cynthia liked both of them; she got on well with Shelagh and Patrick. It was such a joy to see Shelagh alright again and to see Patrick happy once more. They were made for each other.

They sat back down and Cynthia caught shelagh's eye. She grinned at her and she watched as Patrick drew Shelagh close to him. She was so happy for them.

 **Shelagh's room.**

Sister julienne knocked on shelagh's door and opened it a few moments later when she heard that she was okay to go in.

She shut the door after her. "I thought you would like some Horlicks." She said and passed her the other mug she was carrying. "I made myself one and thought you'd like a cup."

Shelagh took the cup from her and smiled at her. It was still a shock when she had seen Shelagh with her hair down. "Thank you sister." She said and then met her eye. "Will you sit down for a while?" she asked and took a drink of Horlicks.

"Of course." She said and sat down on the bed. Shelagh still had her own room and it would be hers until the day she dies, she had told her. Even though it was still in the nun's quarters, it will always be hers. "Did you enjoy the dance?" she asked. She had been waiting to hear all about the night since the group got in around an hour ago, but as always, something come up involving Sister Monica Joan and a freshly baked lemon drizzle cake.

Shelagh's eyes shone. "It was a wonderful night sister." She said. "I didn't think I would have enjoyed it as much as I did, but yes. It was a magical night."

Sister julienne's heart swelled. "I'm glad." She said and took a drink of Horlicks.

"Did timothy behave himself?" Shelagh asked.

"Good as gold. He helped chummy give baby Fred a bath and then sat quietly with me reading a book for school with me for an hour until he went to bed." She said, remembering how the boy had asked her questions about the book she was reading and then asked her for help with some of the words in his book.

"Oh good." Shelagh said. "I'll take him out after him on call." She said.

Sister julienne laughed. "Shelagh, we agreed that you were not going to go back on call for another week." She said.

"Please sister. Its driving me mad not being on call." Shelagh said and put her cup down on the bedside table.

"I know you're restless." She said and put her cup next to shelagh's. She moved closer to her and took her hand. "But what about your health Shelagh?"

"I know, sister I know." She said and looked down. "But it has been 3 weeks since I got discharged from the hospital sister. There has been no coughing or blacking out. The tests I had a few days ago shows that the antibiotics have gone completely." She looked back up at her, her eyes pleading with her.

"What about Patrick?" she asked.

"I will talk to him." She said. "Please. I need to go back on call; you are all being worn to a threat."

Sister julienne sighed. "But it won't do if you are worn to a thread." She said and squeezed her hand. "Okay, I'll put you back on call as off Monday, how's that?" she said.

"Only Monday?" Shelagh said.

"Take it or I won't put you back on call for another week." Sister julienne said, smiling.

Shelagh smiled. "Thank you sister, I appreciate it." She said her eyes bright once more behind her glasses.

"It's alright my dear." She said. "But you can be the one to explain it all to your fiancée."

Shelagh laughed softly. "Okay sister. I will."

She squeezed her hand. "I will let you get some sleep." She let her hand go and stood up, picking up the mugs, she made her way to the door.

"Thank you sister." Shelagh called ash she put her hand on the door knob.

"What for my dear?" she turned around.

"For everything." Shelagh said, smiling at her. Sister julienne's heart swelled with pride once more and she slipped out of shelagh's room.

 **Please darling.**

Patrick opened the door of Nanatous house in the early hours of Saturday morning and very gently closed the door. It had just gone 5AM and he had been called out by Cynthia Miller. The baby had to be delivered by forceps but both mother and baby were doing well now and Cynthia had told him to go back to the convent and get some rest. Himself and timothy would be moving back home tomorrow. Shelagh was doing well and they really needed to be home again. Sister julienne and Shelagh had been going round to keep the house in order for their return.

He hung his brown jacket up and carried his bag into the equipment room. Shelagh always had it ready for him. He could hear singing. The nun's must be in chapel already he thought.

He walked slowly over to the chapel; he had always likes listening to it. Shelagh missed singing and he knew that she sometimes went in the chapel; the nun's didn't push her out but let her sing with them. He knew this made her happy; she would always be a part of the order.

He turned round the corner and stopped. "Shelagh" he whispered. She was sat on the floor next to the door of the chapel.

She looked up at her name; he saw that her eyes were full of tears behind her glasses. He walked over to her and knelt down. "What's wrong darling?" he whispered and glanced into the chapel. The nun's seemed unaware of their presence. "Please darling. I'll take you to bed."

"I can't sleep Patrick." She said and looked back into the chapel; he saw the wishful look in her eyes. She was missing them.

"Then let me make you something to drink." He said and rubbed his hand up her arm. She was cold. She didn't respond to his touch, he cupped her check. "Please darling." He pleaded with her.

She looked back at him; she looked so young, so vulnerable. "Alright." She whispered.

He sighed, relived that he wouldn't have to drag her up. She held onto him and he helped her onto her feet. She leant against him and he pulled her close as they made their way to the kitchen where he sat her down and put his jacket over her shoulders. She smiled, thanking him and pulled it round her.

He set the kettle on boil and got the cups out. He knew there was something that she wasn't telling him. Something that she had kept to herself.

The kettle boiled at last and soon he sat down next to her and put a cup of hot tea in front of her.

"Thank you." She said and wrapped her hands around the cup.

"Anything you want to tell me Shelagh?" he said and took a drink of tea.

"Have you been out on a call?" she asked him.

He knew what she was doing, trying to distract him. It did work sometimes, he had to confess. She was too good. He smiled. "Yes with nurse miller." He said choosing to call Cynthia by her formal name to try and make the convocation more serious. "Now Shelagh…"

"Did you wake timothy when you left?" she asked. She wasn't looking at him she was staring down into her cup.

"No I didn't." he said. "Shelagh, whatever it it…

She cut him off again. "It was a good night, the girls enjoyed themselves and I did as well. We will have to do it again. I think Jane should come next…"

This time, he cut her off. He grabbed her hand. "Shelagh!" he said, it came out quite loud and he didn't mean it to be so angry.

She jumped and squeaked. "Time." She said and finally met his eye. He let the pressure go on her hand and brought it to his lips.

"Shelagh, please my love." He said and kissed her hand softly. "Tell me what is bothering you because there I something you haven't told me, for whatever reason that it. Just tell me." He said, his voice lowered in volume and he made it soft.

"I've asked sister julienne if I can go back on call next week and she's said that I could." Shelagh whispered.

"Alright sweetheart." He said and squeezed her hand.

She frowned at him. "You're not angry?"

He smiled at her. "Of course I'm not angry Shelagh." He said. He felt a little betrayed but if she wanted to go back on call then he wouldn't stand in her way. "We both know the results of the tests that they did a few days ago and as long as you promise me not to work too hard and to not work nights, then I'm happy if you're happy."

She smiled at him, her eyes bright. "Thank you Patrick." She said and leant forward; she kissed him gently and then drew back, both of them breathless. "I love you."

He smiled and kissed her again. "I love you Shelagh." He said.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" she asked.

"Yes, just as long as you promise." He said and stroked his fingers against her check.

"I promise you Patrick." She said. He felt a little better now, but he wasn't happy with her going back on call, but if it is what she wanted to do, then he wouldn't argue with her. He kissed her again and then hugged her to make sure that she knew that he was alright with the idea.

 **Moving back home.**

Shelagh was folding timothy's clothes up and packing them neatly in his suitcase, along with any bits and bobs the boy had brought with him from home. She was going to miss them both terribly, but the wedding was in a few weeks and then she would be living there permanently.

She glanced over at the young boy who was sitting on the bed next to the suitcase, staring into the suitcase. She reached over and lifted his chin up with her fingers. He looked up at her, his face sad, his eyes were dull. "What is it timothy?" she asked and pushed the suitcase to one side so she could sit down on the bed.

He instantly sat with her; she pulled him into a hug, his back against her chest. She leant her head on his shoulder and hugged him tighter. "Tell me Timmy. Please." She said. The boy sniffed in a response and buried his neck against her neck. "I thought we agreed to talk about things that were bothering us? Any problems we had, any concerns or worries, we talked about them. Didn't we both agree that timothy?" she asked softly, gently moving his hair from his forehead.

"We did mum." He said.

"So come on. Tell me." She said and then started to tickle him on his side; timothy was ticklish at his sides and on the back of his neck so she knew how to get him to surrender.

The boy burst into fits of laughter and eventually gave in, "okay mum!" he said.

She smiled to herself. She brought her head round so they could see each other and met his eyes. "I don't want to go home." He whispered.

She swallowed. "Why not?" she asked.

"Because I have fun here. It's always full of people and back home; it's just me and dad. And I think I'll miss you too much if I'm back at home mum, I see you every day and you come and put me to bed every night and if we go home, you won't do that anymore." Timothy said, his fingers fiddling with the bed covers. Just like his dad, always fiddling with things when they are scared or anxious.

She got hold of his hands and held them. Tears were threatening to roll down her checks. "Oh timothy!" she said and hugged him tight. "I will be moving in as soon as I and your dad are married and that will be in a few weeks. I will still be able to do everything that I have done here." She said.

"But the wedding seems ages away!" the boy said.

"It may seem like ages but it will fly by, just you wait and see." She said. "I will still be coming round at night, just like I did before."

The boy sniffed. "But I'll miss you." He whispered.

"And I will miss you so much timothy." She whispered. "It's not for long, I promise." They sat in silence for a few moments. "You alright now?" she asked.

He nodded. "Yes mum." He said and laughed. "I feel like such a big baby." He said and wiped his eyes with his cub scouts sleeve.

"You're as bad as your dad." She said and handed him her handkerchief. "You're not a big baby Timmy." She said and kissed his check. "You're my big brave boy."

"Thank you mum." He said and turner around, he kissed her check softly and hugged her.

She closed her eyes as tears ran down her face. She loved the boy that she wished was her own more and more every day. "That's alright timothy." She said and brushed the back of his hair with her fingers. "I love you Timmy." She whispered.

"I love you too mum." The boy said and hugged her tighter. Her heart felt like it was going to burst as she kissed his head again. She so wished that he was her own.

After a few moments, she let him go and cupped his face; she wiped the tears away with her handkerchief and kissed the tip of his nose. "Now. Shall we finish up here and go and find everyone so we can have some time with them?"

The boy nodded and they walked out of the room, hand in hand, timothy looked up at her and grinned at her, she smiled back, her heart overflowing with love for the boy.

 **Alone.**

Patrick put the last item of clothing back into his wardrobe and sighed. It was good to be home but he would miss Shelagh and everyone at the convent terribly. He had formed good friendship with everyone there and it was painful to leave them.

He heard shelagh's footsteps and then the slam of the front door. He turned around to see Shelagh leaning against the doorframe. "I take it that was timothy going to cubs?" he asked and shut the wardrobe door.

She smiled. "It was." She said and came into the room. She put her hands on his shoulders and looked up at him their eyes met, her blue eyes bright and teary he saw.

His hands settled on her waist. "It seems strange to be back here." He said and glanced around the room. Shelagh had already moved some of her things in, clothes, things like that. She had changed the bed covers and the curtains

"Yes, it will be strange not seeing you around the convent as much." She said.

"We'll still see each other Shelagh; it's not that long until the wedding." He said, moving his hands up her body and rubbing her back.

She closed her eyes at his touch. "I know that Patrick." She whispered, moving her hands down and settled them on his chest; she fingered the material of his jumper.

"What is it my love?" he asked, bending his head as if to see her properly.

She opened her eyes and stared at him. "I'm going to miss you too much, I-I think it might kill me." She whispered her voice thick with emotion.

"Oh Shelagh, my darling!" he said and pulled her close. He had tears in his eyes and blinked them away. His arms were holding her to his body and he bent his head, lifting her chin up with his fingers at the same time, he kissed her lips softly and then deepened the kiss. He let go, breathless, resting his forehead against hers, she looked into her eyes. "I will miss you so much, but we will see each other nearly every day. I won't leave you my darling. Not unless I really have too." He whispered.

Her hand was on the side of his face; her touch of her finger brushing his skin was sending his body into overdrive.

"I know that Patrick. But all those months of being alone in the convent. Spending my nights crying because I couldn't be with you. I can't go back to being like that, it was horrible." She said.

"Shelagh, I know. All those nights spent alone in that bed, wishing that you could have been there with me. Wishing that you were my own. Stealing honest glances and if we touched, even for a moment, that would be enough to last me the day and throughout the endless night. How many times I had sat in that car, wondering what you were doing, what you were thinking. Wishing, hoping that one day I could tell you how much I loved you. And now I can. I can tell you every day that I love you, that you are so beautiful. That I can't wait until you are my wife and I get to sleep next to you each night. I don't feel guilty if I touch you or if we kiss. Because I know that you feel the same way Shelagh. I know you and I love you so much that I will do anything for you, anything that was right." He said. He had closed his eyes and opened them to see Shelagh crying.

She kissed him hard, hanging onto him as if her life depended on it. He kissed her back, holding her as if she was so fragile she might break under his grasp.

It was her who led him to the bed; it was her who pulled him down onto the bed, kissing him hard as she did.

She lay down on the bed and pulled him on top of her; he balanced his weight on his hands and kissed her again and again.

Shelagh pushed his jacket off his shoulders and dug her fingers into his arms, he felt her loosen his tie and start to unbutton his shirts.

He pulled back. "Shelagh, I don't want to do this." He said and he sat back up on the bed. This was the wrong time, they were both upset and this wasn't the way to do things.

"Patrick, please." She said and sat up. She took his hand.

He buttoned up his shirt again and put his tie back on. "I want our wedding night to be special. I want to make love to you and I want it to be magical for us both. We're both upset about things Shelagh. It's not right." He said.

She squeezed his hand. "Yes. You're right Patrick. I'm sorry." She said and leant her head on his shoulder.

He kissed her head. "Don't apologies my love. We both want this, but I want it to be on our wedding night."

"Yes. I just…I need you Patrick." She whispered.

"I need you to Shelagh, but I want to wait for you. It's not long to wait now my love. It will all be worth it in the end." He said.

"I hope so."

He bent his head and kissed her lips. "It will be." He said and pecked at her lips again. "Now. I think we should go back to Nanatous house and do some work before we get carried away again." He said.

She sighed. "Yes." She said and got up.

He pulled his jacket back on and got hold of her hand. They walked out of the room and down the stairs. She picked up her coat and turned to him.

"Don't work too hard Shelagh." He said, cupping her check.

She kissed him. "I won't. I promise."

 **Warning.**

Sister julienne had finally gotten over her feelings for Patrick Turner and it was a good job too. It had been a week since Shelagh had been put back on call, she knew that she was happy now, but Patrick didn't agree with this now. He seemed happy with the agreement.

However she was proved wrong. She had just come in from a labour that only lasted an hour; she wasn't tired yet even though it was now late evening.

Nanatous house was quite. She hung her coat up and set to work putting her equipment in the steriliser. She sorted out her bag, quietly humming to herself. She heard footsteps and stopped, she heard Patrick's footsteps reach the sitting room, the door opened and she heard him address Shelagh.

"Shelagh. Shelagh wake up."

"Patrick, what are you doing here?" she heard shelagh's voice thick with tiredness.

"I thought you were coming round tonight. But you had other plans."

"What do you mean?" Shelagh said.

Sister julienne walked to the doorframe and leant against it.

"You promised me that you weren't going to work too hard and here you are, not coming round and falling asleep." Patrick said.

"I know I did. But you know how it is Patrick. I used to get up much earlier than I am doing now. It's just taking a while to get back into the routine." Shelagh said.

"Shelagh, you are not ready to go back to work, admit it."

"You can't tell me what I can and can't do Patrick. I am not a child, so don't treat me like one." Shelagh said.

"What about your health?"

"I am fine Patrick! You know the test results I had yesterday and they are all positive! Why won't you let me be?" Shelagh said.

Sister julienne crept closer and bent down outside the sitting room. She could hear and feel the tension and anger that was rising between the pair and she had to intervene at some point.

"You need to look after yourself Shelagh. I am going to tell sister julienne that you're not going back on call until the New Year." He said. She heard footsteps and then he stopped. "Get off me!" he said. Shelagh must have hung onto his arm, stopping him.

"Patrick pleases! I need to work. You don't understand." She sounded desperate.

"Shelagh! Let me go or I swear that I won't let you go back on call for a long time." Patrick said. His voice sounded threatening.

"You will never rule my life Patrick! Just because you are a doctor, doesn't mean that you know best all the time!"

Sister julienne stood up., her breathing was fast, and her heart was pounding against her chest.

"Let me go Shelagh!" Patrick shouted.

She moved from her hiding spot and ran into the sitting room just as Patrick pushed Shelagh to the ground, she screamed as she hit the floor.

"Patrick!" sister julienne screamed.

They all froze; she could hear all of their breathing. She looked at Shelagh who was sat on the floor, tears rolling down her face. "Shelagh." She said and knelt down; she was alright, just shaken up.

"Shelagh, I am so sorry…" Patrick said and stepped closer to them, his face shocked guilt in his eyes.

She stood up, anger washing over her. "I warned you Patrick, if you ever hurt my little girl, you would have me to answer to. What the hell did you think you were doing?!" she shouted the question.

His eyes filled with tears. "I-I don't know." He said and looked past her. "Shelagh please, forgive me. I am so sorry. Please." He whispered.

"Get out Patrick." She said, taking a few steps closer to him. "Get out of my sight."

"Please sister...I didn't mean to hurt her, I'd never do that. I was just angry…" he said.

"Get out Patrick!" she shouted.

Shock washed over his face and he scarpered from the room. She heard the door a few moments later. She sighed and turned back to Shelagh who was stood up now, wiping her tears away.

"Are you alight Shelagh?" she asked putting a hand on her arm.

"Yes, yes I'm alright. There's nothing broken or hurt." She said am sniffed. "I didn't want him to leave though sister. We need to talk."

"I understand that, but I would have done something I regret." She said. "I'm sorry Shelagh. I dint know he could be like that."

"No. neither did me."

She squeezed her arm. "Wait until the morning. Things will be clearer then and you will be able to talk things through." She said.

She was shocked. She was so angry with Patrick, she had not felt anger for a long time and it scared her.

 **To the doctors house.**

Shelagh was sat in the sting room for a long time after Patrick had pushed her to the floor. She knew that he didn't mean it; it was the heat of the moment. They were both angry. No one was really to blame.

She had been thinking a lot about what happened. Sister julienne had no right to order him out, they needed to talk. She knew that she was tiring herself out and was determined to start sleeping again; she was kept up half the night worrying, maybe if Patrick knew this, then he might be more accepting.

She got to her feet and walked to the door, it was late now but she had to see Patrick before she forgot everything or she would be up all night worrying even more than normal.

She listened out and heard sister julienne, Cynthia and jenny talking in the kitchen, she slipped out of the room and got her coat. She crept out of the convent, closing the door as gently as she could. She ran down the steps and was on her bike moments later.

She pulled her coat on and shivered, there would be a frost in the morning, she thought. She cycled off and peddled quickly to warm herself up. She felt as if she wasn't going very fast, she was peddling but it felt like she wasn't moving at all.

She finally reached Patrick's house, she leant the bike up against the wall and glanced at the house, the only light was coming from the sitting room, and she knew that Patrick was still up. She knocked on the door, but not too loud as timothy would be in bed.

She breathed out, watching her breath in front of her. She shivered; the bike ride had not warmed her up much.

The door opened, making her jump. "Shelagh." Patrick breathed out. He looked like a mess. His hair more untidy than usual, his top three buttons of his shirt undone, his sleeves rolled up and he was wearing no tie. His face was grey, his eyes teary and bloodshot.

"Patrick." She whispered. "May I come in?" she asked, standing rather awkwardly on the doorstep.

She watched him swallow. "Of course." He said and stepped aside.

She stepped over the threshold and took off her coat, he took it and she walked into the sitting room, choosing to sit on the sofa.

He sat down next to her. She shivered as the warmth hit her. "Are you cold?" he asked.

"A little." She said and stared into the fire. She felt a blanket being draped over her shoulders moments later, the gesture brought tears to her eyes, she pulled it around her.

"I didn't hurt you did I, back at the convent?" he asked, a few moments later.

She breathed out. "Not physically." She whispered, finally turning her head and looking at him.

"Shelagh, I am so sorry. Please. I didn't mean to push you." He whispered.

Tears started to run down her face, she took an uneven breath. "I know you didn't. I know." She whispered, blinking which caused more tears to run down her face.

"Please don't cry Shelagh, it breaks my heart to see you in tear." He said, cupping her check and wiping the tears away. She breathed in and out, letting the sobs come out of her mouth, her glasses had been smeared in tears and she took them off, folding them up. "I don't think I've properly seen you without your glasses." He whispered, stroking her check.

"I'm as blind as a bat without them." She said. "Patrick, I forgive you." She added softly.

He breathed out. "You don't have to Shelagh. What I did was unforgivable."

She reached out and took his hand. "Then we will never make amends and this relationship will be over." She said. "And I don't want it to be over, bec-because I love you so much."

"O Shelagh!" he said and pulled her close to him, she rested his head on hers, she felt tear drops fall on the top of her head. "I am not worthy of you. You are the mist wonderful and perfect person I know. I love you so much." He said.

She buried her head in his jumper. "You are worthy of me Patrick. What you did was in the heat of the moment, we were both emotional and I understand why you were angry and why you pushed me…just, don't do it again." She said and lifted her head up.

He chuckled. "I won't do sweetheart." He said and moved a stray hair from her face. "So are we alright now?" he asked.

She smiled and reached up, bring his lips to hers. They kissed for a few moments until she let go. "Yes we are, but you have to take me out next week to make up for it. How about the cinema?" she said.

He smiled. "Alright, just as long as you forgive me Shelagh, I am sorry." He said.

"Stop apologising. All couples have arguments."

"Yes but this is our second one and I pushed you to the ground." He said pulling her close again.

"Patrick. We were both angry. Please can we forget about it and move on?" she said, resting her head on his chest, she could hear and feel his heartbeat, it was fast.

His grip tightened around her. "Of course Shelagh." He whispered and planted a kiss on her head. "But I do think we should talk about things from now on."

"Yes, I agree." She said and looked up at him. "Will you still let me work?"

He kissed her forehead. "I will never stand in the way of you and your work Shelagh; I know how much it means to you now. I had no right to talk to you like that."

She kissed his check. "You had every right to talk to me like that dr turner."

He kissed her lips, she deepened the kiss. They broke away moments later, Patrick resting his forehead against hers. "I love you so much Shelagh." He whispered.

"I love you too Patrick." She said and kissed him again.

Everything was going to be alright now, it had to be.

 **Where.**

Sister julienne thought she heard the door open and close around 10pm. None of the nurses were out on a call and everyone was in the convent. She had wondered where Shelagh had gone and then thought she may have gone to her room for some time to think. She wouldn't disturb her; she needed to be alone after what happened with Patrick.

She had calmed down now, she had not breathed a word to the others, it would be unfair on Shelagh and Patrick if people found out what happened.

She looked up from her book as footsteps came into the sitting room. Two pairs of footsteps in fact.

Patrick and Shelagh stood in front of her, hand in hand. She frowned, had Shelagh crept out to go and see him?

"Sister, can we talk?" Shelagh asked.

She swallowed. "Yes of course. Will you shut the door?" she said, putting her book to one side.

Shelagh nodded and did as she was told as Patrick sat down opposite her, his eyes met her instantly and she saw how sorry he was.

Shelagh sat down next to him and took his hand.

"I wanted to apologise sister julienne. I already have done to Shelagh, but I feel so guilty that I need you to know how sorry I am for what happened." Patrick said.

"Well, I understand your motives Patrick. But you're card has been marked now remember that." She said, she wanted to look away from him, but she couldn't, he wouldn't let her break the stare. "You said you've already apologized to Shelagh?"

"Yes. I went to go and see him sister." Shelagh said.

"When?"

"A few hours ago." Shelagh said.

"So that's where you were. I thought you had just gone to your room." She said.

"I needed to see Patrick. There were so many things we had to talk about. I wouldn't have gotten any sleep; I would be sat up worrying. But we have talked things through and the wedding is still going ahead. We were both angry and understand each other now, better than we did before anyway. We are both to blame for what happened and we have forgiven each other or I had feared that this relationship was going to end. And I couldn't bear if that happened." Shelagh said.

"Well, I suppose then we shall forget about what happened and move on. Now we have the wedding to look forward to again." She said.

"Yes. And we still want you to give Shelagh away at the wedding sister, if you still want to, that is." Patrick said.

"Of course I still want to!" she said and smiled properly at the pair. "I want to." She said, more seriously.

The couple smiled back at her, all the awkwardness had gone and she felt comfortable with them now. Things would be alight now.

 **Jenny's room.**

Shelagh knocked quietly on jenny's door a few nights; after lights out. She could hear music from the girls' room being quietened and laughter from the occupants in the room.

Jenny opened the door slowly, and then pulled it wide open. "Shelagh, you are late!" she heard Trixie shout from her spot on the bed.

She was ushered in and smiled. "I know I'm sorry, but timothy threw up at school and he's been tucked up in bed." she said and sat down on the bed next to Cynthia who passed her a glass of babysham.

"Ohh lovely." Trixie said. "Were you tending to his bedside?"

"I had too; he refuses to let Patrick look after him. Apparently, he's too rough." Shelagh said.

"Is he indeed?" Trixie said laughing.

Shelagh felt her checks flush red; she glanced over at jenny and Cynthia, wanting the ground to swallow her up quickly, she tried not to talk personal matters with the girls, more about her and Patrick.

"Trixie, you beast." Cynthia said and reached over to squeeze her hand. "I think it's lovely that you're looking after timothy, you're the perfect mother Shelagh."

Shelagh smiled at her and squeezed her hand. The small gesture felt massive to her and she appreciated it.

"So what are you going to wear tomorrow night when dr turner takes you out Shelagh?" Trixie asked.

"Am I going to be interrogated every time I spend some time with Patrick outside of the convent?" she asked, reaching over to pick up a biscuit.

"Yes and you have to tell us everything Shelagh!" Trixie said.

"Oh Trixie!" jenny said laughing. She turned to Shelagh. "You can borrow one of my dresses if you want Shelagh; I know that you still don't have many clothes. Who has the time to go shopping?"

Shelagh smiled. "If it's okay jenny."

"Of course it's bloody okay!" Trixie said her eyes bright. "You're one of us Shelagh, or had you forgotten that fact?"

"It's not that Trixie, after more than ten years in the order, it's hard for me." She said, taking another bite out her biscuit.

"Yes until you fell in love with the doctor and then chose to leave the order. You will need to get used to it Shelagh, it's been over four months since you've left the order." Trixie said.

"Goodness, is it really that long?" Shelagh said, her mind reeling back across those months, so much had happened since the day of the fate in this summer where she finally accepted her feelings for Patrick and where he had kissed her grazed palm, she ran her fingers over the scar that was still visible and shivered..

"Have you been courting Trixie?" Cynthia said.

"No I haven't." She said.

"I'm surprised that Trixie can even count the day of four months!" jenny said and burst into laughter.

Shelagh laughed, really laughed. She hadn't laughed like that in such a long time. She watched as Trixie nudged her and also laughed. She really did enjoy spending her nights with the nurses, she would miss it.

"I know that look Shelagh!" Trixie said, dragging her "you were thinking that you're going to miss these nights with us and I can tell you now that you have to come and see us like this at least once a week."

Shelagh laughed. "That was incredible, how on earth did you know I was thinking that?" she said/

"It was the sad look in your eyes that gave it anyway. Now, will you come round at least once a week?" Trixie said.

Shelagh glanced at jenny and Cynthia and already knew the answer. "Of course I will. Just because I'll have moved out doesn't mean that I won't come round. You'll never get rid of me!" she said.

The girls laughed. "Good. Now Shelagh, we have all agreed that you need a makeover." Trixie said.

"Oh no, I don't think so." She said.

"We only want to style your hair for you, you have it all wrong, and you should have your hair clipped up instead of woven round. Like how Jane has her hair but we'll do yours differently." Jenny said.

She sighed and smiled. "Alright, go on then!"

 **Different.**

Patrick turner knocked on the door of Nanatous house the next night and waited anxiously put ide the house.

He had tried so hard to make an effort, he needed to make it up to Shelagh, and he had been feeling so wretched over what happened. It felt like the time when he kissed here grazed palm at the fate, he had felt the exact same then. It was so hard to get over, he dreaded seeing her and felt so awful about the whole thing, he cried at night.

The door opened suddenly, making him jump, sister Evangalina stood at the door. "Evening doctor." She said.

"Good evening sister." He said, stuttering on his words. He always felt uneasy when she was around, he never admitted it to anyone, but he was scared of her. "Is Shelagh ready?" he asked, putting his hands into the pockets of his overcoat.

"How should I know dr turner?" she snapped. She was softening up, after everything that had happened with Shelagh over the last weeks, everyone knew that she was coming round to the idea of the pair together. She sighed. "Well, I've got work to do and I'm not standing here so you had better come in doctor." She said and moved away from the door.

He swallowed and stepped into the convent, closing the door as he did so. "You might as well stay here; I can hear the nurses coming." Sister Evangalina mumbled and marched off down the hallway.

He sighed as he watched her disappear, he was scared of her. He heard footsteps and looked up; he was lost for words once more.

Shelagh walked towards him, smiling at him. He was rooted to the stop. She looked so different.

Her hair was parted at the side now, she had hair sweeping over her forehead and resting on the rim of her glasses. Her hair was properly down, it curled just below her shoulders and glistened gold in the sunlight as she walked. She was wearing a pink dress with patterned flowers on the material and wore pink flat shoes.

She stopped and sighed. "Well?" she asked after a few moments of them looking at each other.

He took a deep breath. "I never thought I could love you more than I did. You look absolutely beautiful Shelagh. You look so different." He took a step forward and took her hands in his.

"Is a good different?" she asked, he face anxious.

"It's a great different." He said and pecked her on her lips.

"You look so handsome Patrick." She said, her eyes lighting up.

He smiled. "Thank you my love. I take it, you had some help with this transformation?" he said, he could hear hushed chatter and muffled laughter from near the equipment room and guessed that the nurses had crept to listen to their convocation.

"The girls made me over last night, it is a shock when I look in the mirror, but I think they did a good job." She said, looking down at her outfit.

"You mean the girls who are hiding round the corner?" he said aloud, grinning at Shelagh, he turned to the door.

Jenny, Cynthia and Trixie stepped out, and then sister julienne stepped out, her face red. "You are all terrible spies, especially you sister julienne!" Shelagh said laughing, she held onto his hand.

"We couldn't help it; we just had to know what dr turner thought." Jenny said.

"Well I think you've done a wonderful job." He said, squeezing her hand.

"Can you all scarper now?" Shelagh said. He admired her so much, she still seemed at ease with them all, even thought she was clutching his hand.

"Yes, I think we should let them go or they will miss the start of the film." Sister julienne stepped forward, obviously over her mortification. She smiled at them; he felt his heart swell with admiration for her. "I hope you have a lovely time." She said and then turned, she walked a few paces. "Don't you all have work to do?" she asked the nurses.

Jenny and Cynthia scurried off, both of them meting his eye and both of them grinning at them.

Trixie stood still. "But I want to find everything out sister!" she said.

He looked down at Shelagh who had rested her head on his shoulder, he let her hand go and she looked up in alarm, only when he put his arm around her, her panicked expression dissolved and she smiled up at him.

"Trixie, I suggest you get on with some work or I will not turn a blind eye when you and the others go to shelagh's room tonight after lights out." Sister julienne said.

Trixie sighed and walked off down the hallway, quickly turning and smiling at them when sister julienne's back was turned. They laughed and then he looked at sister julienne who had a broad smile on her face. She was well now. He was happy in that respect.

"I hope you both enjoy the film. Don't be back too late Shelagh." She said and then she too, returned to her work.

He turned to Shelagh a few moments later and cupped her face. He kissed her lips and sighed as she let go.

"Trixie, get on with your work." Shelagh said, not even taking her eyes of him.

He glanced out the corner of his eye to see Trixie coming out of the door way to the equipment room and she laughed. "How did you know?"

She turned her head in the young nurses' direction. "I know you Trixie. After ten years of being in the habit, I've got eyes in the back of my head. And now with a boy to look after, I know everything." Shelagh said and then turned back to him. "We really will be late for the film at this rate Patrick."

He smiled and pecked her lips once more. "Alright, let's go." He said and walked with her out of the convent.

 **After the film.**

Shelagh hung onto Patrick's arm as they walked out of the darkened room and into the cold and dark night. The film was excellent, it had been such a long time since she had seen a film reel and she had enjoyed it so much.

"What did you think to the film?" she asked as they stopped outside the theatre. She shivered in the cold night air and she was wrapped in his brown overcoat moments later. "Are you sure?" she asked as she pulled it round her.

"Absolutely sure my love." He said and lit a cigarette. "The film was good actually; it's been ages since I've been to see a film." He said.

"Yes, same for me." She said and turned to hear the sound of raised voices.

A gang of men advanced on them, one of them pushed her, catching her off balance. Patrick grabbed her quickly and steadied her.

"A simple excuse I would suffice!" Patrick shouted.

The gang of men stopped, obviously drunk out of their skulls. She tugged at his jacket, terror running through her.

"Oh, it's the honourable dr turner." One of the men said, stepping away from the group and staggering towards them.

"Mr Harlow." Patrick said.

"And this is your fancy is it?" he said, sneering at her. "I heard that she was half your age and they were right, you dirty old man. Seducing a nun tut tut."

Shelagh shook. She wanted to run and hide, but Patrick stood his ground. "Hardly Mr Harlow. Now if you and your friends excuse us, I am taking my fiancée home." Patrick said.

The man stepped forward even more. She stepped back and gripped Patrick's hand, the cigarette had been discarded when the gang pushed past them and now lay burning on the pavement. "What, so you can make love to her? You really are a sick old man." The man said and spat at the ground at their feet.

"I suggest you and your friends move along and let us go home." Patrick said.

"Or what?" the man said and laughed. "You haven't got any bottle old man." He said.

"I am not going to sink to your level Mr Harlow." He said and turned to Shelagh who was still shaking. "Come on Shelagh." He said.

The man punched Patrick in the face as he turned back around. She screamed as the man attacked Patrick. She pushed him off Patrick. "Go on! If you are really that tough! Come on!" she shouted, standing in front of Patrick who was lying on the floor. She laughed as Mr Harlow hesitated. "I didn't think you would. Now go home and sober up before I call the police." She said.

The man walked away and his gang follow him down the street. She sighed and turned back to Patrick who was sat up now, tears in his eyes. She knelt down. "Are you alright?" she asked, reaching into her handbag, she always kept a first aid kit with her. She took out the anti-septic and some cotton wool. She gently wiped the cut on his lip and got him to hold the handkerchief to his bleeding nose.

"Yes, yes I'm alright." He said.

She gently dabbed at his cut lip and he winced. "Come on dr turner. It will only sting for a while." She said smiling. He smiled then winced in pain. "Hmm, no smiling for you for a while." She added.

"That also means that I can't kiss you." He said.

She smiled again. "Well, we will just have to have lots of hand holding and hugs wont we?" she said and then put everything back into her handbag as she had finished cleaning him up.

"Yes we will." He said and took her hand. I'm sorry Shelagh."

She sighed. "What for?" she rubbed her thumb over his hand.

"I should have just walked away. Then this wouldn't have happened. I forgot all about how you got attacked. I'm so sorry." He said.

"Oh Patrick. You protected me and I am grateful for it. Not many people would have stood up at a group of men like that. Don't be ashamed darling, I'm proud of you." She said.

His hand cupped the side of his face. "Thank you Shelagh." He said.

She grinned at him. "It has spoiled our night hasn't it?" she whispered.

"Not if we don't mention it to anyone. No one else saw it so it never happened." He said.

"What if people ask about your lip?" she asked, running her finger over the cut which had now stopped bleeding.

"I'll make something up." He said.

She smiled. "Okay. Now are you alright to drive back to the convent and to your house?" she asked.

He nodded. "Yes. I'm alright now. It's not the first time this has happened." He said and heaved himself up.

She got up and smiled. "Oh really?" she said as she took his hand and they walked to the car.

"A patient was partially troublesome and I was on the receiving end of a glass on water." He said as they both got in.

She laughed. "That doesn't sound too bad." She said.

He started the car. "It was. She drank the water first and then threw the glass at me. It missed but I got a shard of glass in my lip and it had to be cut out." He said.

"Ow." She said wincing. "Well, that will be the last time anyone attacks you." She said.

"I didn't know you had such ferocity in you Shelagh. I'm surprised." He said.

"Can you remember the birth of the carter twins?" she asked.

He nodded. "Meg and Mave carter. That will be engraved in my memory for a while."

"When Meg came storming into the room and pushed you to the ground, I was so angry, I thought I might slap her." she said.

"That hurt actually. She slapped you and I felt the same way, but there was nothing I could do." He said. "We could have lost both of the babies and Mave."

"But we didn't. That was the first time I've got slapped I think. It knocked me to the ground; I really wasn't expecting that to happen. She said.

"Indeed." He said and pulled up outside the convent. "Then the next morning when we stood outside, I was shocked when you asked for a Harley."

"I think that was when I first started to acknowledged my feelings for you. I would do anything just to be near you and that morning, I had to drag myself away from you. It was so painful, I thought I might have died there and them.

"Oh Shelagh." He said and pulled her close. "I love you Shelagh,"

She sighed. "I love you so much Patrick." She whispered. And then laughed as she pulled away, she peck him on the check. "I am going to miss kissing you for a while." She said.

"Mm, me too." He said. And then stroked the side of her face. "I'll see you tomorrow. And do try and get some sleep Shelagh. Don't sit up worrying; there is nothing to worry about."

She smiled. "I'll try not to." She said and pecked his check again. "Tomorrow, bright and early doctor." She said and got out of the car.

 **Sick.**

It had been a few days since Shelagh and Patrick had gone to the cinema and Tuesday clinic had rolled around again. It was just over two weeks until the wedding now and everyone was so excited.

Sister julienne walked back out from a cubical and spotted young timothy turner stood at the back of the hall, he was swaying slightly and looked grey, his face sunken in and his eyes drooping. She walked over to him and knelt down. "Timothy, what's wrong?" she said. Putting a hand on his shoulder.

His eyes met hers. "I got sent home from school. I was sick at playtime." He whispered.

She nodded. "Well your mum and dad are still busy but I will stay with you in the kitchen until they can take you home. How does a cup of tea sound?" she said, she had a hand on his forehead and checked his pulse. He was running a fever and his pulse was quick and irregular. He had the flu.

He nodded and allowed her to steer him into the kitchen. Jane and jenny looked up as they walked into the kitchen, she sat him down in the corner and knelt down, and she took his tie off and unbuttoned the top two buttons. "Can you make timothy a cup of tea jenny? He's been sent home as he was sick this morning." She said.

"Of course sister." Jenny said. She looked worried. "Shall I do him a cold flannel as well? He looks like he's burning up." She whispered so the small boy couldn't hear them.

She nodded. "Yes, thank you jenny." She whispered and moments later, she held a cup to his lips. "Drink this for me timothy." She said.

The boy was falling asleep and she had to be careful in case he slipped off the chair. She looked up as Shelagh walked into the kitchen, she had been busy all afternoon and nor did she or Patrick know about him. "Oh timothy! What's wrong?" she said, dumping the pile of sheets she had been holding on the counter and rushed over to them.

"I think its flu Shelagh. He said he had been sick at playtime and was set home." She said, resting the cup of the counter.

She nodded and felt his forehead. He moaned at her touch. "Oh Timmy." She said and sighed.

"Shelagh, take timothy and go home. It will be no use spreading germs around the clinic. You need a rest anyway. I will tell dr turner where you have gone and what has happened." Sister julienne said.

Shelagh nodded. "Thank you sister." She said and stood up, she shook timothy carefully. "Timothy, wake up, come on. I'll take you home. Come on Timmy." Shelagh whispered.

The boys' eyes fluttered open. He mumbled and dragged himself up, resting against Shelagh.

"I will see you later sister. And thank you." Shelagh said and she watched them walk out of the clinic.

Around half an hour later, the clinic ended at last. She walked into the kitchen and stated to pack up. She heard footsteps come into the kitchen and knew who it was.

"Sister, do you know where Shelagh is?" Patrick turner asked.

She could hear such anxiety and terror in his voice as he spoke, she turned her head and looked at him, his face was tense and his brow was creased.

She cleared her throat. "Yes, timothy came in about an hour ago; he was sent home from school, he had been sick at playtime. Shelagh came into the kitchen and I told her to take timothy home and to stay with him until you came home from the clinic. I think timothy has the flu, the symptoms support it." She said.

His face relaxed. "Right thank you sister." He said and she heard him sigh. "Why was I not told?"

"You were very busy at the time doctor." She said, wiping her hands on her apron and then taking the apron off.

"I see. He said and then fell silent for a moment. "I will finish up here and then go home is that's alright."

She smiled. "Go home now Patrick. We can finish up here and you will be telephoned for if you are needed."

"Are you sure?"

She grinned. "Absolutely. Now go home to your future wife and your son." She said.

He smiled at her and left the kitchen quickly.

 **Worried.**

Patrick turner closed the door of his house gently and dropped his bag near it. He took his coat off and his scarf and hung them up quickly.

He couldn't hear any sounds and after checking the kitchen and sitting room, there was no trace of Shelagh, even though her coat was hung up in its usual place.

He climbed the stairs two at a time and checked his room and then stopped at timothy's door and sighed.

Timothy was tucked up in bed; Shelagh was sat next to him, her arms around the boy. Both of them were asleep. He crept in the darkened room and knelt down, he touched her arm gently. "Shelagh? Wake up darling. Shelagh?" he whispered.

Her eyes fluttered open behind her glasses. "Hello." She whispered.

"Greetings." He said, using her phrase, they both grinned at each other.

"I thought you would be home later." She said.

"Well, sister julienne gave me the evening off so after clinic, I came straight home." He said.

"I see." Was her reply and she looked down at the boy sleeping in her arms.

He touched her arm again. "Why don't you come down stairs?" he whispered.

"I don't want to leave him." She said her eye full of unshed tears and concern written on her face.

"He will be alright Shelagh, he's sleeping soundly. Besides, I don't want you to catch whatever it is that he has." He whispered.

Her expression changed. "I don't want to leave him Patrick." She whispered much more firmly and her brow was creased.

"I know you don't, I'm just worried in case you catch anything, and your immune system is still really vulnerable Shelagh." He said he still had his hand on her arm.

She moved her arm away from him and tightened it around timothy. "Don't you dare Patrick." She shot him several looks.

He felt like his heart was being ripped out. All he wanted to do was protect them both, but Shelagh was far too stubborn to listen to him. He gently reached out and stroked her check. His eyes met hers and he saw that she saw the hurt in his eyes.

She opened her mouth to speak, but he got up slowly and left the room, too hurt to speak.

 **Sorry my love.**

Shelagh crept down the stairs a while after Patrick had left her. She had eased herself away from timothy that just moaned slightly and rolled over. She closed the door as quietly as she could and then sat for a long time at the top of the stairs, going over and over in her head of what she was going to say to Patrick.

She understood why he was so worried, but she didn't matter for the time being. All she wanted was for timothy to be well enough for the wedding which was fast approaching them.

She stooped just outside the sitting room door, she saw a sliver of light coming out from under the door and took a deep breath, and she pushed the door open and stopped.

"Patrick?" she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes.

He was lying on the sofa, his head on the arm; tears stained his pale face and new tears running slowly past the old ones. His eyes opened at his name but he didn't move. His eyes stared at her and she couldn't bear it, he looked so wounded, so hurt, so painful as he lay on the sofa, his strong arms wrapped around himself as if to give him protection. Was it protection from her?

She walked over to him and knelt down on the carpet next to him, gently she reached for his hand. He didn't pull away but clutched it tighter. His eyes closed and tears ran down his face once more.

She took a jaggared breath and closed her eyes too, tears finally running and making a path down her own face.

"Shelagh." She opened her eyes and looked at him. He had moved slightly and his head was raised up.

She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry my love, I should have seen things through your eyes." She whispered, rubbing her fingers over his hand gently.

"No I am sorry darling. I shouldn't have reacted like that. I know how you feel about timothy." He said.

"Patrick please, this isn't your fault, its mine and mine alone. I hurt you and I didn't even realize it. I'm so sorry." She said, more tears ran down her face and dropped onto the sofa.

"Shelagh, you were being a mother. A wonderful mother who didn't want to leave her son because she was worried. Any mother would have reacted the same as you did. What was I even thinking? My feelings don't matter right now. I'm just so scared about your health; I can't lose you again Shelagh. So I am so very sorry." He whispered, tears running down his face too and drooping onto the sofa.

She laughed through her tears. "Are we arguing about apologizing?" she said

He laughed too and wiped the tears away from his face. "I suppose we are." He said and reached out, he cupped her face and wiped the tears away gently, and then he left his hand there, gently rubbing her skin. "Shall we just both accept we had some part to play in this?" he said.

She nodded and raised herself to her knees, she thrust her arms around his neck and he pulled her up and onto his lap, his arms were tight around her waist and her back, he leant back against the sofa and pulled her with him. She clutched him tighter, all emotions were running away with her and she buried her head into the crook of his neck and tried to stop fresh tears from falling from her sore eyes,

He let go of her, but kept his face near her own and his arms still around her and looked her in the eye. There was no longer any trace of hurt in his brown eyes. She smiled, happy in the fact that he was no longer hurting; she still couldn't believe she had hurt him; she would rather die than ever does that to him.

But he cupped her face again and smiled at her. He knew what she was thinking and she smiled even harder at that. They both knew each other inside and out now. They learnt how each other worked, what they were thinking, what they were feeling. Their relationship worked best on this.

"I love you so much Shelagh." He said.

"I love you too Patrick." She whispered and kissed his lips. He gently opened her lips and depended the kiss, holding her so close to his body.

And she melted in his arms.

 **A week away.**

Sister julienne was walking towards the sound of laughter and chatter in the kitchen. Apart from young timothy turner catching a bug from school, the week had passed with no major problems, all the births during the week had gone well and there were no deaths, this cheered everyone up.

Timothy was recovering and hopefully, would be well enough for the wedding which was exactly one week away. The preparations were being made, the parish hall had been booked, the outfits were being finalized, and the food was being prepared by the nuns so that was no problem.

She walked into the kitchen. "Am I disturbing you girls?" she asked, stopping just inside the room.

Shelagh, Trixie, Cynthia, jenny and chummy all looked up from sheets of paper with drawings on.

"Wait, sister julienne. We don't want anyone apart from us to see shelagh's dress!" Trixie said and soon the papers were all in a pile and Trixie was resting her arms on them.

She grinned at the girls. "Am I alright now?" she asked, catching Shelagh's eye. She didn't want to see the dress, Trixie was right. She wanted it to be a total surprise.

"Of course sister." Trixie said. "I bet you think that we are all behaving like little girls." She added after she sat down next to Cynthia and Shelagh.

She smiled. "Of course not Trixie, I remember how much you were all excited for chummy's wedding, it rubs off on us all. So carry on, maybe it will make sister Evangalina be in a better mood come the bug day." She said.

The table laughed openly and she too laughed. Sister Evangalina was coming round to the idea but she still had her doubts about the couple, everyone knew she had.

"So Shelagh, what are you going to do for your honeymoon?" Trixie asked.

She watched Shelagh smile. "A few days in Derbyshire, we will be home in the morning of Christmas eve." She said.

"That sounds lovely." Jenny said.

"Derbyshire? Why don't you go to Cornwall or Devon?" Trixie said.

"Trixie it is December! I don't think Shelagh and dr turner fancy walking along the sea front in the freezing cold." Sister julienne laughed.

"We have decided on a cottage break in a forest. Patrick used to go there when he was a child, he actually recommended it." Shelagh said.

"You'll have a wonderful time then." Cynthia said.

"What about timothy?" sister julienne asked. Jenny had just rebolied the kettle and was passing hot cups of tea around. She wrapped her hands around the mug and took a drink.

"All ready sorted! I and peter agreed to look after timothy whilst Shelagh and dr turner are away. Timothy is almost recovered from his bug anyway so there is no risk of Fred catching it."

"Someone say my name?" the grown up Fred appeared out of nowhere, pulling his jacket on as he walked into the warm kitchen.

"Not you Fred, chummy's baby!" Trixie said, laughing.

Sister julienne chuckled and then caught shelagh's eye for a second time, she looked worried. She knew why, she didn't want to leave timothy. She had forced herself to come into work each day whilst timothy was tucked up in bed with the housekeeper, Mrs Waller looking after him.

Then sister Evangalina came storming into the kitchen, her face red. "Haven't you all got work to do?" she bellowed. All the young nurses scattered, but they all had a smiled on their faces as they returned to their work. She stopped Shelagh, sister julienne stood up. "Shelagh, I would appreciate it if dr turner didn't keep ringing up every day to ask if you are alright and to see if you need picking up and dropping back here at night. There might be someone who actually needs help, instead of your fiancée hogging up the telephone line." Sister Evangalina spat.

"Sister, I will thank you not to speak of dr turner like that and not to speak to Shelagh in that tone. All he wants is to put his mind a rest, who can blame the poor man?" sister julienne stepped forward and held onto shelagh's shoulder.

"I am sorry sister, but…" sister Evangalina started her face red with mortification now.

"But nothing sister. Shelagh will be moving into dr turners' house next week and will be staying here if she is on call during the night." Sister julienne cut her off.

"Very well sister." She said and walked off back down the corridor.

"Well, I'm sorry for that Shelagh." She said, moving round to face her, tears were in her eyes and were threatening to fall down her checks. "Oh Shelagh. She mummed and pulled the girl into an embrace.

She heard Shelagh sob a few times and then composed herself; she pulled back, wiping her face as she did.

"I am sorry sister." She whispered.

"What for?" sister julienne said, handing the Scottish nurse her mug of tea which she had left, it was still hot.

Shelagh took a long drink. "I seem to be in tears most of the time now. It's not very professional." She whispered.

"Shelagh you are one of the most professional people I know of. Don't apologise. You have had a very hard 6 months. Who can blame you for crying?" she said. "Now, I don't want you to worry about timothy. Chummy and peter will take very good acre of the lad and I can expect that he will be spending most of his time round here, so I will too lock after him and make sure he is alright and not bored."

Shelagh smiled. "How did you know I was worried?" she asked.

She gently took shelagh's hands. "I know you Shelagh. And I saw it in your eyes when chummy mentioned it." She said.

"Well, that has put my mind at rest. Thank you sister." She whispered.

"Think nothing of it my dear. Now I think we should get on with some work of sister Evangalina will be back on the warpath and I don't fancy being on the end of that." She chucked, smiling at Shelagh.

 **Scared.**

Shelagh opened the door of the house and closed it behind her gently. It was dropping well below freezing now and she was frozen to the bone. The kitchen door opened and timothy ran out. "Mum!" he shouted, launching himself at her.

She staggered back and embraced him, laughing as she did. She stoked the boys' hair and smiled. "Well, you seem a lot better timothy." She said.

"Yes and a lot more energetic too boot." She looked up and caught Patrick's eyes he was leaning against the doorframe with his hands deep in his pockets.

"That's how I like it." She said and planted a kiss on his head. "Go on, off to bed with you young man."

He let her go and took a step back. "But you've only just got here, I don't want to go to bed yet!" the boy protested.

She knelt down. "Timothy, go on. It's your last day at school tomorrow and the play is tomorrow night. I will come up in a while to say good night. How does a chapter of Great Expectations sound?" she said.

The boy's face lit up. "Okay. I'll go to bed, but you promise you'll come up soon?" he asked.

She smiled. "I promise." She said. Timothy turned and started to climb the stairs. "Haven't you forgotten something?" she asked.

He jumped back down the stairs and pecked her check. Patrick ruffled his hair and he was back climbing the stairs. She straightened up when he was out of sight and winced, she was hurting from the cold.

"You alright darling?" she felt Patrick's hand on her arm.

She turned and looked up at him. "I'm fine. The cold has spread through me that am all." She said, gently taking his hand in her own.

"Shelagh, you're freezing, not cold!" Patrick said, concern written on his face. "In the sitting room now, I've done the fire and I'll bring you in a cup of tea. Get the blanket from the back of the sofa and wrap it round yourself." Patrick said.

"Patrick…" she whispered.

"Now Shelagh." He said firmly, but his eyes were bright and he was smiling. "Doctors' orders."

She grinned. "Is this you pulling rank dr turner?" she asked.

He grinned back at her. "Yes it is. Now go or I will carry you in." he said.

She nodded and walked into the sitting room. She did as she was told and was curled up in the corner of the sofa within minutes; she rested her head back and closed her eyes.

"Shelagh? Shelagh, wake up."

She opened her eyes and focused them on Patrick who was knelt down in front of her holding a cup of tea. She smiled weakly and took the cup. "greetings." she whispered.

"Greetings." He said and smiled at her. "You fell asleep."

She sighed. "Sorry, I'm just tired. I'm not yet used to being in the routine, but I will get there." She said.

"Don't be sorry. It's normal. I don't mind anyway. As long as you're alright" he said and with that he put his hand on her forehead to check her temperature and checked her pulse quickly.

"Are you finished doctor?" she asked after a few moments, sitting up properly and taking a drink of tea which spread warmth through her body and she shivered at the sensation.

"I'm only worried about you. It's not fair that you have to walk all the way from Nanatous in this weather. You could have telephoned me to come and pick you up. I wasn't out on a call." He said, sitting next to her and gathering her up in his arms.

"But what is you were out on a call? I can manage perfectly well until Saturday." She whispered.

"What's wrong Shelagh?" he asked, taking her cup from her and setting it down on the table in front of them.

She leant her head on his chest. "Nothing." She mumbled.

"Don't give me that." He said and kissed her head. "Now, tell me."

She raised her head and sat back against the sofa. "I'm scared." She whispered.

"Why are you?" he asked. She was quiet for a moment, trying to get the words out, trying to make sense of the feelings running inside her. "Are you scared of me?" he asked a few moments later.

She laughed, really laughed. "I have never and will never be scared of you Patrick." She said and planted a kiss on his check. His cuts and bruises had cleared up after the attack outside the cinema; no one asked any question so the incident did not happen.

"Then what is it?" he asked, pulling her closer. "It is the wedding?" She nodded. And leant against him, her heart beat was racing, wondering who he was going to react. "Do you want to post pone it?"

"No!" she said and frowned at him. "No I don't ever want that." She said.

"Are you scared about the wedding?" he asked.

"I don't know what I'm feeling Patrick. I really don't." she said.

"You will be alright Shelagh. I felt the same when I married Laura. It will all go when the day rolls around." He said, taking her hand in his.

"Don't you feel scared now?" she asked/

"I suppose I do. But that is only because I will be marrying you in the convent where you spent more than a decade of your life. In front of your sisters and your colleagues. I'm worried that I won't be good enough for you and get the acceptance as your husband." He said.

Tears fell from her eyes. "I suppose that is what I'm worried about as well. I always thought that I would always serve God, never promising myself to one man. The future scares me." She said.

He bent his head and kissed the tears away. "The future is scary Shelagh. It always will be." He whispered. "But we do this together. Every single step. I will be by your side and I will never leave it until the day that I die." He said.

She hugged him. "I love you Patrick. She whispered.

"I love you too Shelagh. I love you so much." He said and tightened the grip on her.

And she was no longer scared; he had taken it all away from her. She was bold, brave and had enough strength to carry on. She no longer felt tired. She had his willpower and strength to carry on now.

 **Timothy's play.**

This Christmas, Patrick was early for the Christmas play. He had been late last year when timothy was playing the violin in the nativity play; he had been called out several times before he managed to watch timothy in the church hall.

Now, he waited outside the hall with his colleagues, his arms around Shelagh to keep her warm from the blistering cold.

He took his scarf off and wound it round her neck. She looked up in surprise and then smiled at him. The smallest questers made their life wonderful, it meant a lot to them both.

He held her close to him as she shivered under his grasp. "Not long now Shelagh, don't worry." He whispered and planted a kiss on her forehead.

Finally, the doors opened and they were allowed in, he took her hand and they managed to get a seat right at the front. He sat down next to Shelagh and glanced around the hall whilst everyone else filled in.

There were a lot of faces he knew, many of the catching his eyes and smiling at him. He turned back and looked at Shelagh, who was still shivering. "I'm really sorry." He whispered, putting an arm around her.

It's alright Patrick, I'll warm up soon." She said.

"I know, but Shelagh…" he started, concern ripping through him.

She grinned and stopped him. "But Shelagh nothing. I will be fine. Do you really think I would miss this?" she asked, taking both of his hands.

He smiled back. "I suppose not." He said.

"Well then. Last year, timothy was a true star and he will be this year as well because he has got us both willing him on." She said.

He sighed happily. "I love you." He whispered, tears welling up in his eyes.

She breathed out a laugh. "I love you too." She whispered.

He leant forward and pecked her check, aware that there was dozens of eyes on them. But Shelagh looked blissfully unaware of them and kissed him back, the sensation of her lips brushing lightly on his check sent his body alight. It happened every single time they kissed or if they touched, even for a moment.

Then the curtain raised and jenny, which was playing the piano once again, started to play. Patrick smiled and caught her eye, she was an excellent pianist and he marvelled at her skill. She overheard her once saying that she had piano lessons as a child but couldn't find the time to play anymore. It was sad really, he had always liked writing, but work got in the way and he was lucky if he could write a page or so once a week.

Then all the children started too appeared on stage, he grinned at timothy that looked as while as a sheet of paper. He glanced at Shelagh, who was smiling so proudly at the boy. His heart swelled and he blinked back the tears, pride and love erupting through him like a volcano. With both of them being there seemed to give timothy strength and he started the play off to a wonderful start and Patrick couldn't be prouder of him if he tried. It was just wonderful to see him having fun.

 **After the play.**

Sister julienne put most of the cups, saucers, plates and cutlery into the sink of the parish hall and stared to wash them all. The play had gone so well, all the children had worked so hard and timothy, oh young timothy turner was the star from the beginning of the play. He was a true actor, no wonder chummy and Fred had given him the leading role, he had done so well in the last Christmas play and the Robin Hood play at the fate.

That brought back so many memories. Finding Shelagh in the Chapel with dr turner, Shelagh being diagnosed with TB, when she got sent to the sanatorium for so many months she thought she was going to lose her mind. Shelagh had been away from the convent for such a long time.

She stopped the washing up and leant against the work top, tears rolling down her face and dropping into the water, making a noise as they hit the water. She had lost her little girl but she had come home and found her again. She didn't wasn't to lose her for a second time come Saturday. But Shelagh was happy for the first time in so many years. Sister julienne hung her head and took several deep breaths, looking at her hands in the hot water. Shelagh was loved so much now. Everyone knew it.

So why wasn't she happy for the girl? Why could she not feel happiness for her, be there for her and offer kind words and encouragement to her?

She took another deep breath, fear running away with her.

"Sister Julienne?" She looked up in shock; Patrick was stood at the entrance of the kitchen, his hands in his pockets. "whatever's the matter?" he asked taking a few steps towards her, his face concerned, his brow was knitted as his brown eyes met hers, those brown eyes which were so reassuring, so kind.

She swallowed and tried to control her tears. She took her hands out of the water and dried them on a towel, he offered her his handkerchief and she took it, taking deep breaths, she smiled weakly and dried her eyes. She closed them for a moment, taking several deep breaths.

She opened them a few moments later and gasped softly. Patrick was now stood quite close to her, they had not stood this close before and she took a deep breath instantly and cleared her throat. "Yes. Sorry Patrick. It's been a wonderful night, but it has shaken up some memories." She said and handed the handkerchief back to him. He held onto her hand she she took a caught her breath in her throat at the touch.

"That's why you are so upset then?" he asked and squeezed her hand in his.

"Yes." She said, trying so hard to look away from him but his eyes locked with hers and he would not break the stare. "I thought you'd gone home." She added a few moments later.

"I have dropped Shelagh and timothy at the convent. I thought I'd come back here and give you a hand and then I could take you back to Nanatous. It's dropped well below freezing now and I don't want you catching anything so close to the wedding." He said.

She smiled and looked down at their hands. She took a deep breath and looked back up at him. "It's not long now." She whispered,

Sister, do you…" Patrick trailed off, his eyes searching hers for anything to help him get the words out she thought.

"What?" she asked softly. She felt him grip her hand; she widened her eyes in surprise at the touch.

"I don't know how to get the words out." He whispered.

"Then don't Patrick." She said firmly. She knew what he was asking, if she still loved him. And she did, a small part of her did still love him, but she had got over the aching the sleepless nights, the pain that she had felt before. Now, she kept her feelings shielded from day to day life. She had to protect herself.

"Sister…" Patrick said and she watched him close his eyes and he sighed.

"Patrick doesn't. You love Shelagh and it will break her heart, you know that." She said and wretched her hand from his, she wiggled her painful fingers and sighed. "Now I suggest you go back to the convent."

"I'm sorry sister julienne." He said.

She turned back to the sink. "Don't be. Now go home." She said.

She felt him grab her hand and she looked up in shock. He bent his head and kissed her. He kissed her lips and drew her closer to him, holding her in such an embrace that she couldn't breathe. It took a few moments for her mind to react to what was happening. She pulled back and slapped him, causing them to step apart. She took several deep breaths and stepped further away from him. He was clutching the side of his face, his eyes pleading with her, such sorrow and hurt written on her face, his knees buckled and he fell to the floor. She watched and heard him sob as he knelt on the floor, clutching his head in his hands. She swallowed, shocked at what had just happened. Then she stepped forward and crouched down, she put her arms around him and he crept closer to him, tears dropping on the tiles.

"I'm sorry sister. Please, I am so sorry. I'm sorry." He cried.

She blinked back the tears. "Patrick, it's alright my dear. It's okay." She whispered.

He looked up, tears staining his face and his eyes. "Please, we have to forget this. I don't know what came over me, I never meant to kiss you sister, I promise. But please, I need you to forgive me and promise that we will never speak of this again. It can't get back to Shelagh, she will leave me and that will kill me. I am so sorry. Please. I'm sorry sister." He said, catching his voice in his throat many times.

"Patrick, this never happened. I know you're sorry and I forgive you. The stress of the wedding and your job, it's a lot, I know it is. It was a spur of the moment thing and it will never be spoken of again." She said and she helped him to stand up.

He wiped the tears away and smiled weakly, he turned his head. "Shelagh." He whispered,

She turned and watched Shelagh run out the parish hall, tears running down her face.

 **It never happened.**

Shelagh ran out of the parish hall, tears stinging her eyes as the blistering cold met them. She had only gone to see if Patrick and sister julienne needed any help, but she was shocked to see Patrick advance on sister julienne and kiss her on the lips, she sobbed loudly and made her way back to the convent.

She closed the door behind her and leant against it for a while, tears still running down her face and she was panting from running. She looked down and closed her eyes. She heard footsteps and looked up; jenny and Cynthia were stood in front of her, concern written on their faces.

"Shelagh, what's wrong?" Cynthia said, putting a hand on her arm.

She thought for a moment. No matter how much she trusted the girls, she could not tell them that Patrick and sister julienne had kissed, even if Patrick made the first move. She took a deep breath and wiped the tears away with her cold sleeve. She took a deep breath. "Me and Patrick just had an argument, hats all." She said.

"Are you sure that's all?" jenny said moving closer. "You can tell us Shelagh." She added.

She nodded. "I know I can. But I think I just want to go to my room if that's alright. Is timothy alright?" she asked.

"Flat out on the sofa so he won't know you've gone. We will let dr turner know where you are." Cynthia said.

"Can you not tell Patrick?" she asked and brushed a few stray tears away.

"If that's what you won't Shelagh." Jenny said and patted her shoulder. "But we are here for you."

She smiled shakily. "Thank you jenny." She said and then walked down the long corridor and walked slowly to her room when she was out of sight of everyone. She closed the door behind her and locked it.

She pushed off against it and sat down, unbuttoning her coat as she did. She was shivering, mostly because of the shock and some due to the coldness of her room.

She had decided to forget it happened. It would cause too much trouble and she couldn't bear to hurt sister julienne or Patrick for that matter. It would hurt her too much.

She breathed out and started to say a few lines of prayer to calm herself down and to stop the tears, it didn't work and she curled up on the bed crying.

She closed her eyes and sobbed for what seemed like hours later, only jumping when she heard knocking on her door. She stared directly at it and breathed in and out slowly. The tears had stopped but her face was rigid with the dry ones making it hard to move her face. She wiped her face and sat up properly.

"Shelagh? It's me." Patrick said his voice soft and concerned. "Please. I know you're in there."

She got up and walked to the door as quietly as she could. She was breathing heavily now but kept it quite so he couldn't hear her.

The door knob was turned but she had locked it. She breathed out in relief. "Shelagh please. Unlock the door. Shelagh?" Patrick said his voice still soft.

She chocked back a sob and leant against the door, putting a hand on the wood; tears stared to run down her face once more.

"Shelagh, Shelagh please." Patrick whispered. "I am so sorry Shelagh."

She sank to the floor, her knees buckling from under her and she let herself drop to the floor. Her hand clawed at the wood and she let out a loud sob.

Patrick must have heard her through the door. "Shelagh? Shelagh please. Let me in. please, just unlock the door. Shelagh?" he whispered. He sounded like he was crying too, his voice was thick and he was breathing unevenly and raggedly.

"Patrick." She whispered, leaning her head against the door.

"Shelagh." Patrick whispered back. "Open the door, please."

"Patrick." She repeated she couldn't find the words to express her feelings. She was drowning and she needed to be saved, she needed to be saved by Patrick but she didn't know if she could bear to see him.

"I'm sorry Shelagh." He whispered through the wood.

"I know you are." She said, wiping the tears away with her hand.

"Then let me in? Please Shelagh."

"I can't bear it." Shelagh said.

"Do you want to cancel the wedding?" he asked her.

She took a deep breath in, it was like she had just been stabbed in her heart, and pain was ripping through her. She got up shakily and unlocked the door, tears running down her face and drooping on the floor and her coat she had never took off. She pulled the door open and stared at Patrick who was sat on the cold floor outside her door. His face was streaked with tears, his eyes were lifeless and the entire colour had let them. He met her eyes in surprise and pulled himself to his feet. She threw herself at him, crying loudly. He held her and she heard him sob gently. "I don't want to cancel the wedding." She whispered though her tears and clutched him tighter.

He held her tighter in response and sobbed loudly again. "I love you Shelagh."

She gasped. "I love you Patrick." She said.

They stood like that for ages, each of them lost in their own thoughts. She pulled away at last and looked at him. He looked older; she wiped the tears away gently and let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding.

"I am so sorry." Patrick whispered, cupping her face.

"I just need a bit of time Patrick." She said, forcing herself to take a step back. "Get timothy and go home." She added. She had to walk away from him, she had forgiven him, but she needed to trust him again. And she closed the door on him.

 **In the early hours.**

Patrick sighed. He had never wanted this to happen. Now Shelagh hated him and it was his entire fault. He was feeling lonely and rejected when Shelagh told him to go back to the parish hall and help sister julienne with the cleaning up. Maybe he just wanted some sympathy, but there was no excuse for his actions.

Shelagh's door opened and he looked up at her. Her hair was plaited and a little messy. She was wearing her dressing gown and she just stared at him.

"Hello." She said, pulling the rope of her dressing gown tighter around her waist.

"Hello." He said, feeling such guilt wash over him.

"Have you been there all night?" she asked him, leaning against the door frame.

"Not really. I was called out a few hours ago and I came back here, I don't know why I did." He said and heaved himself to his feet, straightening his jacket and pulling his fingers through his hair.

She reached out and pushed his tie up, her fingers lightly brushing against his neck as she flattened his collar down. "What about timothy?" she asked him.

"Tucked up in bed sound asleep." He said. "Why are you up?"

She sighed. "I couldn't sleep. I was going to make myself a cup of Horlicks, it always makes me tired." She said. "Do you want one? I guess we should talk. After all, we did agree to talk about things."

"I don't want to intrude." He said, being careful not to go too far. He knew that she didn't trust him anymore. Who could blame her?

"Come in, we really need to talk and I don't want to do this here, anyway I am cold." She said and turned back into her room. He closed the door and then sat next to her on the bed. They sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments before she broke the silence. "Patrick, what happened in the hall…" she trailed off, she was speaking very softly. "I forgive you. It was just one of those moments. One of those hiccups that life seems to throw at us."

"And it seems to be happening to us an awful lot," he said. Tears welled up in her eyes. "Don't cry Shelagh." He whispered and took her hand in his. "It breaks my heart and I genially thought that I had lost you forever." She sniffed and pulled him close to her. He put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head, nuzzling his check against her hair. "I'm sorry Shelagh." He whispered, blinking back the tears. "I'm so sorry."

She sniffed once more and pulled away from him, leaving her hands on his chest, she fiddled with the material. "I need to know Patrick…why did you kiss her?" she asked softly and then looked up at him, locking his eyes with her teary blue ones.

"I don't know why I did it." He confessed. "I have always liked sister julienne, but I think she started to form feelings for me. And it broke her heart when I told her that I wanted you and only you Shelagh. She has gotten over it quicker than I thought; it was only a little feeling." He said.

"I see." She said. "I won't tell anyone Patrick, it wouldn't be fair."

"Thank you." He said and took her hand. "I think I was feeling lonely because I thought that you were pushing me away when you told me to go to the hall and help clean up."

"Oh Patrick! I never meant to sound like that. Timothy was alright and I just thought that sister julienne could do with a hand. I'm sorry if I came across like that Patrick, I really am." She whispered.

"It's alright. What I did was unforgivable." He said and kissed her engagement ring. "You're going to be my wife in a few days. That's if you don't do a runner and ditch me at the altar."

She smiled and his heart began to beat with love again. "I'd never do that. Just don't kiss any other women apart from me in future." She said and leant her head on his shoulder. He bent his head and kissed her forehead gently and softly rested his head on hers, their hands clutching each other's.

 **Forgiven.**

Sister julienne looked up at her door as someone knocked on it softly. She had not been doing any work, just sat with her head in her hands, just thinking of what to do. Last night's events had shocked her and she was so scared. She didn't know why Patrick kissed her, she had gotten over her feelings now, but she couldn't work out his motives for his actions.

She cleared her throat. "Come in." she said and lowered her hands onto the desk.

Shelagh appeared in the door way and she felt sick to her teeth. Her stomach knotted and an overwhelming sense of guilt washed over her, causing tears to form in her eyes. "I'm not disturbing you are I sister?" she asked softly.

She felt so guilty. She had no idea of what Shelagh was feeling; the girl gave no indication to her emotions. "Of course not my dear." She said. "Come in and take a seat."

Shelagh did as she was told, shutting the door and walking slowly to the chair. She sat down and sighed; she then looked up and locked her eyes with her own. "I just wanted to make sure sister, about last night's events that is." Shelagh spoke.

Sister julienne swallowed the lump in her throat. "Shelagh, I did not know what Patrick was going to do, I had no idea." She said.

"I know we have talked things over last night and smoothed things over. We have agreed that the incident will never be spoken off again. It will be the best for everyone." Shelagh said.

Sister julienne breathed out, relived. "Very well Shelagh, but I am sorry about what happened."

"And you are very much forgiven sister. Trust me on that. Shelagh said. "All those months I spent at the sanatorium made me realize that life is much too short and it should be lived to the full. I don't wish to cause arguments or be angry with people. I don't want any of my friendships to be destroyed but a moment that was not thought of, the ramifications were not thought of. Life is precious and I don't intend to start doing any of these things now."

Sister julienne smiled, tears welling up in her eyes. "I agree with you Shelagh. You still haven't let go of Sister Bernadette have you?"

Shelagh laughed. "I haven't. I know I should, to start fresh, but I don't seem able to."

Sister julienne reached across and took shelagh's hands in her own. "I don't think you should let her go. She is missed very sorely but any fool can see that you are so much happier now Shelagh. You kept going along the path you have chosen and you have come out if it alive. That takes so much courage." She said.

Shelagh sniffed. "Thank you sister."

She smiled sadly. "Think nothing of it my dear." She said.

"I wanted to ask sister julienne…" Shelagh trailed off.

Sister julienne could see that she was struggling with her words and she squeezed her hands. "Go on my dear." She said softly.

"Have you changed your mind about giving me away at the wedding?" she asked, her eyes finally reaching hers.

She gasped. "No I haven't. I will gladly give you away Shelagh. If you still want me too." She said she wanted nothing more than to give Shelagh a way to Patrick for she knew that he had now sworn an oath to look after her, protect he and love her.

"I do. I was just thinking, after everything that has happened…" Shelagh said.

"I want to Shelagh, trust me." She said and smiled.

 **The night before.**

Shelagh set her cup down on the table and sighed. It was the night before the wedding and she was in pieces, she was so frightened. She knew that she shouldn't be, but her body seemed to go against her mind and heart. She found herself shaking.

Patricks hand covered hers. "Are you alight?" he asked, his voice was soft and comforting.

She looked up and smiled. "I'm fine Patrick." She said. "It's just nerves."

He laughed softly and smiled at her. "I know what you mean. I feel the same now." He said.

She raised her eyebrows. "Are you getting doubts dr turner?" she asked playfully.

He pecked her check. "Never in my wildest dreams, Shelagh my love."

She laughed. "That is exactly what you said the day the x-ray van came to poplar when you were stood on the steps." She said.

He sighed. "Yes and the day that I diagnosed you with TB." He said sadly, his finger entwining with her own. "That was one of the worst days of my life." He added, moments later, his eyes were sad and hurt flickered through them.

"Patrick. That is all in the past. We both know, dr turner that the TB has not returned for ages. I am being careful, you know that." She said and leant forward, she pushed his tie up a little. "And those were the days of hurt and I do not wish to remember them. It's far too painful, not just for me. For you as well Patrick. I know that you went through the same feelings as me. I know how much you were hurting. I know because I have experienced it too and I never want to go through all of that again."

She saw tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry sweetheart." He whispered and pulled her close.

She breathed deeply. "What for?" she asked.

She felt him tighten his grip on her. "For bring the past up."

She pulled back and smiled. "It's alright; it creeps up on the best of people." She said.

He cupped her face. "But it is the future that I am looking forward to. Tomorrow you, my love, will be my wife. And you have no idea how much I love you Shelagh. I promise right here right now, that I will do everything in my power to love you, to protect you, to look after and to care for you, to make you happy and to never let you cry, to never hurt you physically or emotionally. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I will only be taken away from you when the day comes that I die. I want to be the perfect husband that you deserve because you deserve so very much Shelagh. You are wonderful; you're brilliant you are so beautiful I cannot even begin to say how beautiful you are, inside and out. And I know that you may not believe me but I am speaking the truth and nothing but the truth. I love you Shelagh so very much and I thank god every single day for letting you come to me. Darling, you mean so much to me that word escape me. I love you more than anything in the world." Patrick whispered.

She let out a sob, completely over joyed and over whelmed. She had not expected such a declaration of love and his words meant to much to her, she could see his feelings in his words, she could see that he meant every word he said. She blinked and tears ran down her face, but they were happy tears. She laughed. "I love you Patrick." She said simply.

He kissed her and she deepened the kiss, holding onto him so tightly because it seemed like she was drowning in love and lust and she didn't know what to do apart from hang onto him for dear life and hope that he knew what she was feeling.

But she knew he did. He let her go and leant his forehead on hers. "I know Shelagh, I know."

"Dr Turner, you are a big softie at heart!"

They both turned in surprise and she smiled, she knew that Patrick was smiling to. Trixie and Cynthia were stood in the doorway of the kitchen, both of them had tears in their eyes and Trixie was dabbing carefully at her eyes, always being careful not to smudge any of her mascara.

"I didn't think we'd get long before we were sought out." Patrick said.

Shelagh laughed as the girls came into the kitchen and sat down at the table with them. "You should know that be now Patrick." She said, grinning at the girls. She wiped her eyes and pushed her glasses back onto the bridge of her nose.

"Are you normally one for emotional speeches doctor?" Trixie said, raising her eyebrows at Shelagh.

Cynthia nudged her with her elbow. "Leave them be!" she said and turned to them both. "Sorry, but we just can't wait till tomorrow, it is going to be wonderful."

She smiled and squeezed Patrick's hand. "Yes. It will be." She said.

"It is going to be the best day of my life Shelagh." Patrick said. "And I will make it magical for you." He added and kissed her forehead softly.

 **Good night my love.**

Patrick walked down the long corridor in Nanatous house and held onto shelagh's hand tightly. They stopped at the door and he pulled his coat on. "I can't believe that the day has finally come." He said.

She smiled and picked up his scarf that she had made him. Laura had brought him a scarf a year before she died and he love it, but the past was the past and he would always love her and remember her, but he had to let go and the scarf was now hanging up in his wardrobe. "It's not technically the big day is it doctor?" she asked and fingered the thick wool.

"You know what I mean." He said and she wound the scarf round his neck.

"Yes I do." She said and sorted out his coat, buttoning it up to the top. The temperature had dropped outside and a frost was forming.

"You're going to be my wife, not my mother." He said and picked up her hands, warming her cold fingers in his hands.

"It's the small touches though isn't it?" she said. "And Patrick, it is freezing outside. I don't want you to get ill a night before our wedding."

He smiled. "Well thank you my love." He said and pulled her close. "But it's finally happening Shelagh."

She smiled. "I know, this time tomorrow, you will be my husband." She said.

"You'll make me pick you up and take you home with me soon if you're not careful." He said and pecked her lips.

"I'd like to see you try dr turner." She said and kissed him back.

"Can't you two stop flirting for just one minuet?"

They turned their heads at the sound of sister Evangeline's booming voice; he felt his checks going red. "Sorry sister." He said.

"You will see each other tomorrow. I don't know why you're both all over each other all of the time. You're nearly as bad as the nurses when they go out." Sister barked, picking her cloak up.

"Sister, that's enough." He turned his head again to see sister julienne walking towards him and he felt his checks deepen in colour. Sister Evangalina stormed out and slammed the door behind her; they all looked at each other.

"I should get going anyway. I need to puck timothy up from cubs." He said, turning back to Shelagh.

"Are you sure I can't come round?" she asked.

He sighed and picked his hat up. "You know I'd love it if you did, but I'm due at the maternity home in an hour and won't get back till late so you would have to walk it back and the weather is torturous." He said.

"It's not trouble walking back, you know that Patrick." She protested.

"I have to agree with Patrick Shelagh. I don't want you to injure yourself or catch anything the night before the wedding." Sister julienne said and she caught his eyes, smiling at him.

She sighed. "Alright, I give in." she said and smiled. "Until tomorrow then Patrick."

He smiled at Shelagh and pecked her lips. "Until tomorrow Shelagh, do try and get some rest darling."

She laughed. "Pulling rank again doctor?" she asked.

He laughed. "You bet I am." He said and picked up her hand, he kissed the engagement ring on her finger. "Good night my love."

She smiled at him, pulling his hat down a little. "Good night darling." She said and kissed him again.

He pulled away and picked up his bag that had been sitting on the table for a few hours. "You will have to throw me out sister." He said, looking over at sister julienne.

She laughed. "I will do if you don't go Patrick. Tomorrow is only a short time away and it will go so fast. Now go." She said.

He laughed and walked towards the door. Shelagh opened it and looked up at him with pleading eyes. He cupped her face and pressed his kips to hers gently. "I love you Shelagh." He said, pulling away from her.

I love you Patrick." She said. "Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." He turned reluctantly and left.

 **Now.**

Sister julienne knocked quietly on shelagh's door bright and early the next morning. She waited and wrung her hands in anxiety. The door opened and jenny smiled at her. "Ah sister, we're just finishing doing shelagh's hair and make-up, come in come in!" she said, her voice was thick with excitement.

She stepped into the room and heard jenny shut the door behind her. She breathed out and smiled at Shelagh, who was sat on her bed, her eyes closed. She was in her dressing gown and she saw she was fiddling with the material. Trixie was knelt up on the bed, putting Kirby grips into the girls' hair, it was beautiful, shelagh's golden locks were pinned up and it hung back down at the back in ringlets, stands of her hair framing her face. She looked so different without her glasses. Cynthia was doing her make-up, Shelagh didn't wear a lot of make up anyway, and just powder, lipstick and mascara would do for the girl.

The girls finished and left Shelagh on the bed. Sister julienne picked up her glasses and knelt down, pushing them gently onto her nose and onto the bridge of her nose. Her eyes opened and they locked instantly. "Hello my dear." She breathed out, completely overcome by how she looked, she looked truly stunning.

She chuckled. "Greetings." She said. Sister julienne passed her a hand mirror and she smiled as she watched the girl's face light up at seeing her reflection. "Oh girls, you've done a magnificent job!" she said.

"Don't cry Shelagh." Cynthia said. "I've only just done your make up."

Shelagh laughed. "I'll try not too!" she said, looking again in the mirror. "Thank you girls."

"Don't worry about it Shelagh." Jenny said and looked at her watch. "Ohh, we'd better go and get ready." She added a few moments later.

"Thank you girls, we shall see you outside the chapel." Sister julienne said rising to her feet.

"See you later!" Trixie said and soon, all three girls were out of the room.

She turned to Shelagh and smiled. "Now then my dear, I have been waiting ages to see your dress." She said.

Shelagh chuckled and walked over to her wardrobe to the large bag that was hanging on the door. "Chummy finished it a few days ago and I can't believe how wonderful it is. She stayed to my instructions even though chummy told me that Trixie tried to make some changes to it."

"Well, I'm sure she meant no harm." Sister julienne laughed. Shelagh unzipped the bag carefully and pulled the dress out. She gasped and clutched her wooden cross that was hanging down from her neck. It was pure white, a simple straight patterned with the waist clinched in and was long enough so it didn't drag on the floor but long enough so it was warm and it had long arms. The bodice was embroidered with white lace and was tucked in around the waist. It had no train but the veil went down to the waist and was to while.

They stood in silence for a few moments. "What do you think sister?" Shelagh asked quietly.

She drew her eyes away from the dress and focused on Shelagh. "Shelagh, it is so beautiful, I can't even begin to explain!" she said.

Shelagh breathed out and then smiled at her. "Thank you sister, it means so much to have your approval." She whispered.

She walked over to her and drew her into her arms. "My dear girl, you will always have my approval. Don't think for a moment that you don't." She said, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"Thank you." Shelagh said and pulled back. "I don't think I would want anyone else with me right now sister."

She smiled. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else Shelagh. It means so much to me being here. I know that I am not your mother, but it feels like it and I am so honoured to give you away."

She saw tears form on her eyes, she took her hands gently. "Sister, if this was another life then I would want you to be my mother. You have done so much for me. As far as I'm concerned, you are my mum. I love my biological mother so much but I can't remember her, I was so young when she died. Being here, with you, I feel safe. But the prospect of moving away is terrifying. I now that I will be looked after, but I really am scared sister."

She swallowed again. "Shelagh, sweetheart. You are the daughter that I never had. I would proudly call you my daughter. I would be so proud to be your mother, I am anyway, I could not be prouder of you if I tired. You have followed your path with courage and determination and I admire you so much for it. You will be alight, it will be hard but in a few days, it will all be fine. Don't forget that you are always welcome here; your room is yours until the day you die. And I will be with you every step of the way." She said and squeezed her hands. "Now, I think we should start to get a move on or we will both end up in tears."

Shelagh nodded and smiled. "Thank you mum." She whispered and her heart overflowed with love.

 **The dress.**

Shelagh held the dress, that chummy spent a good three weeks making, up against her and then looked down at it.

"Are you alright my dear?"

She looked up at sister julienne and smiled. "Yes, I think it is just nerves." She said.

"Shelagh, you are doing the right thing. But you don't have to go ahead with it." She said gently.

Shelagh thought for a few moments before she spoke again. "I want to go through with the wedding." She said firmly.

Sister julienne smiled and took the dress out of her hands and held it up. "It is a beautiful dress Shelagh and you are going to look absolutely stunning." She said.

She sighed and took a deep breath. "Now or never I suppose." She said and began to undo the bow on her dressing gown. She took it off and stood in the warm room in her slip and petticoats. With anyone else, she would have shrank away and wanted to pull her dressing gown back on, but with sister julienne, she felt at ease and was not embossed. Sister julienne stepped forward and lifted the dress up and over her head, being careful not to knock or undo her hair. Finally, she lifted her head and caught her sister julienne's eye with her own and smiled at her. She breathed in and out, just as she did when Patrick examined her on the day when the x-ray van came to poplar, she gasped at the memory and sister julienne looked at her in surprise.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

She swallowed. "It's just memories sister. They tend to sneak up when I least expect it." She said.

Sister julienne laughed softly. "Yes I know what you mean." She said and stared to pull the skirts of the dress out and pull the dress down propyl. Chummy had done a wonderful job. Sister julienne knelt down and sorted the bottom of the dress out, spreading and lifting the skirts down. "Will timothy be alright being the ring bearer?" she asked, looking down at the dress.

"I think so. I and Patrick decided that he is too young to be the best man. But he seemed happy to be the ring bearer." She said and looked down.

"I think he might be a bit young yes." Sister julienne said, laughing softly.

After a few moments, sister julienne stood back up. Shelagh smiled at her. "Thank you sister." She said and turned to the long mirror that stood in her room. She gasped at her reflection. She hardly recognised herself.

Sister julienne appeared behind her and put a hand on her shoulder supportively. "You looked absolute beautiful Shelagh; everyone will be very surprised and shocked. Patrick will be blown away." She said.

She smiled. "Thank you sister, thank you so much." She said and blinked back the tears. She turned back and sister julienne took her hands gently.

"I do have something for you Shelagh but it isn't your wedding present I'm afraid. I was always going to give this to my daughter, but a few years I decided that I would give this to you when the day comes when I die. I want you to have it now Shelagh." She said, crossing the room and picking up a box that she failed to notice before. She walked back over to her and pressed the large box in her hand.

She swallowed and opened the box and gasped. A necklace with a large diamond lay in the centre of a gold plated ring. It was beautiful. "Sister…is you sure?" she whispered.

"I am completely sure," she said and picked up the necklace. She moved to the back of her and placed it around her neck. "It was my grandmothers, when she passed away, she gave it to my mother and when she died, and she gave it to me." She said and the necklace lay on her neck and chest, she touched the jewel and let out a sob. "Please don't cry Shelagh, it breaks my heart." She said and pulled her into her arms.

"I don't know how to thank you." She whispered.

"I know Shelagh. Sometimes actions mean more than words and it's hard to get words out." Sister julienne said and drew back. "But you have made me so proud Shelagh; I want you to have it."

She swallowed. "Thank you." She whispered.

Sister julienne picked up her veil and pinned it into the hair gently, being careful not to undo the pins. "It's alright my dear. Now" she said and pulled the veil over her face and picked up her bouquet, she pressed it into her hands and held her own over shelagh's. "You look amazing Shelagh." She said and took a step back.

"Are you certain?" she asked. Looking down and then I'm the mirror, she smiled at her reflection.

"Defiantly." She said, Shelagh turned back and sister julienne took her hands. "Don't be a stranger to Nanatous Shelagh."

She smiled. "Never sister. You'll never get rid of me." She said and hugged her again.

 **Nerves.**

Patrick stood in front of the downstairs mirror and fixed his tie again. He saw that his hands were shaking. It was nerves, just simple nerves that would go when he got to the convent. Or maybe they wouldn't go for a long time.

He took a deep breath in and ran a hand through his greying hair. What did Shelagh see in him? He was old, worn out, tired. What could she se in him? But then he remembered that she saw that was underneath, what he was like inside, maybe that's why she was still with him, after everything that had happened over the last few weeks, maybe that's why she stayed. If it was, she really was an angel.

He turned as timothy came walking down the stairs. "Are you ready?" he asked.

The boy looked up, a grin on his face. He would be staying with chummy and pater tonight and they would see him before they set of on their honeymoon in the morning. The boy was looking forward to it but Patrick knew that he would miss them both so much, they promised to ring at least once a day and to bring him something back. It was only fair, but timothy was letting them get away for a few days on their own and he loved the lad so much for that.

"Yes dad, I've got the rings in my pocket." He said and pulled his coat on.

Patrick pulled his dark overcoat on and wound his scarf round his neck. He bent down and wrapped timothy's scarf round his neck. "Good boy, now don't lose them." He said.

"I won't dad." He said and suddenly hugged him.

Patrick was taken aback for a moment and hinged him back, timothy then pulled away a few moments later. "What was that for?" he asked smiling.

"I don't know." He said. "It doesn't seem like the wedding is today. I keep thinking this is a dream and I'll wake up and mum will be back at the sanatorium and still a nun and you will be sad again." Timothy whispered.

He put his hands on the boys shoulder. "Timothy, this isn't a dream. Now I have felt the same way so don't worry about that, but I and mum won't ever leave you if we don't have to. You can still come with us on the honeymoon, I'm sure mum won't mind." He said gently.

The lad smiled. "I won't, thank you anyway dad. It's yours and mums honeymoon. I will be fine with chummy and peter. I'm looking forward to it, chummy said she will teach me how to make muffins." He said, grinning.

Patrick laughed. "You'll be the size of the house by the time we get back then." He said. "You know that you will have to stay at the convent quite a lot during the day though don't you? Chummy and peter will be on duty." He said.

Timothy nodded. "I know. Sister Julienne said she will find things for me to do and she said I can use her paints if I'm really careful with them."

"I think you will have a wonderful time then." He said and stood up. "Right, your case is in the car already. Shall we get a move on?" he said and looked at his watch. "We're bang on time actually." He said, glancing one last time in the mirror.

"That makes a change." Timothy tugged at his coat. "Dad you look great." He said smiling up at him.

"You sound like your mum." Patrick smiled down at him and rand his fingers over the boys' checks. "So do you timothy." He said, he felt tears well up in his eyes and blinked them back. "Come on then."

They walked out of the house after one last check that nothing was forgotten and Patrick closed the door, locking it as he did. All the nerves had gone. In a few hours, he would be returning here with Shelagh. He smiled and walked to the car.

 **Outside the chapel.**

Shelagh walked down the corridors of Nanatous house, holding onto sister juliennes arm. She breathed in and out slowly to calm herself. It was really happening. She couldn't believe it, how many times had she walked this way, alone, with the nurses, with her sisters? Now she walked to the chapel on sister juliennes arm, about to be given away to her fiancée. Her amazing, handsome, generous fiancé, her Patrick, who was the districts hero, a good man, a loyal man to everyone.

They got to the closed doors of the chapel at last and she let go of sister juliennes arm. She smiled weakly at her as the girls fussed around her.

"Are you certain about this Shelagh?" sister julienne asked her, picking her hands up and holding them in her own.

She opened her mouth to speak just as the door opened and Jane creped out. She looked wonderful too, she was there with her reverend, they had finally got together and Shelagh was so happy for them. "Oh sorry!" she said and walked over to her, she smiled at her. "Sorry Shelagh, I have a message from dr turner." She whispered.

She felt her stomach flip. Trixie stepped forward. "He is going to see her soon. Cant it wait Jane?" she asked. Shelagh glanced at her. Trixie, jenny and Cynthia all looked wonderful in their matching dresses. They made every bit the bridesmaids, chummy had done such a good job getting not only her own dress but jenny's, Cynthia's, Trixie's and Jane's dress ready in time for the wedding.

"He told me that it was urgent." Jane said firmly. The girl was flourishing in the convent, with every passing day she was growing in confidence.

"What's the message Jane?" she asked.

Jane smiled at her. "He says that he is completely certain." Jane said.

She smiled to herself, remembering when he had found her on that road in the mist and fog. She felt her checks colour. She cleared her throat. "Thank you Jane. Please will you tell dr turner the same thing?" she asked.

"Yes Shelagh. See you in there then." Jane said and slipped back into the chapel.

"What did that mean then?" Trixie asked, sorting her hair out, pushing stray pins back into her hair.

"Nothing for you to worry about Trixie." She said and turned to sister julienne that had an anxious expression on her face, her mouth slightly open in suspense and her eyes questioning. She smiled at her. "I'm sure sister. I've never been so sure in all my life." She said firmly.

Sister julienne relaxed and smiled at her. "I'm happy to hear it." She said and held her arm out. "I have never been so proud of you Shelagh."

She smiled and blinked back the tears. "Thank you sister." She whispered and took her arm.

She kissed the top of her head and lowered the veil over her face. "My daughter." She whispered very softly so the nurses didn't hear it.

She saw tears in her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat. "mum." She whispered just as softly.

Then, with one finally adjustment to her dress by the nurses, they opened the door and chummy, who was playing the piano, began to play. She took a deep breath in and stepped into the chapel.

This was one of the biggest decisions of her life, but she knew she was making the right choice. She had left the order and even though she missed her sister, they would always be her sisters. Now a new life awaited her and she was living the right life now, she knew she was.

 **Back home.**

"Dr Turner, put me down this instant!"

He kicked the door closed and lowered Shelagh, who was grinning at him, to the ground softly. He grinned at her and cupped her face gently.

The wedding had been perfect, the reception had been perfect and now, they were finally man and wife. The thought brought tears to his eyes and he blinked them away quickly, hoping that Shelagh would not spot them.

But she did. It was too late. "What's wrong?" she asked, her expression changing to one of concern, he felt her take his hand gently.

He smiled and brought her hand with the gold wedding band to his lips. He kissed it gently and breathed out. "Nothing. I was just thinking. It's finally happened Shelagh," he said. "You're my wife." His voice cracked at last. He had been fighting the tears back all day, so overwhelmed with everything. Shelagh was so beautiful; he could not take it all in. the chapel, the reception, everyone at Nanatous being so welcoming, so happy for them, even sister Evangalina.

She flung her arms around his neck and kissed his check. "I know Patrick. I know." She whispered in his ear and kissed his check again. "I love you." She said.

He clutched her tighter, recovering quickly." I love you too." He said and kissed her check softly.

She moved her head and their lips met at last. He had not felt uneasy kissing her in the chapel; he knew that he was fully accepted into the family now.

She let him go and they caught each other's eye in a heartbeat. It was evening now and the late winter sun was streaming through the window at the top of the door and hit Shelagh, causing a glow about her. She was so beautiful. "You're beautiful darling." He said out loud.

She smiled and loosened his tie. "You're handsome darling." She said smiling at him.

"Shelagh…" he said, trailing off, allowing his hands to settle on her hips. He rubbed her back gently, the dress was wonderful, chummy had out done herself, it suited Shelagh to a tee and he was so taken aback in the chapel that it took a few moments to get over before he could speak. "You know we don't have to Shelagh, we don't have to do anything but sleep tonight." He said gently. He didn't want to pressure or rush her in any way, shape or form. It wouldn't be fair on her.

She kissed his lips briefly and then pulled away. "I want to Patrick." She said and pressed her lips to his once more. "You don't know how much I want you." She whispered and ran her hands over his chest.

"Are you sure?" he asked, kissing her back.

"Patrick. I'm sure." She said firmly and let him go. "Trust me." She whispered and took his hand in hers and led him up the stairs. He went willingly, anxious and excited at the same time; he had butterflies in his stomach. But Shelagh was now his own or she will be soon. All his dreams were coming true, after such a long, painful, lonely time. It was all starting to look alright. As long as he had Shelagh by his side, life could throw anything at him and he knew he would survive as long as he had her. He may have already proved that by overcoming the hurdles that life had already thrown at him.

Stopping at the stairs, he looked up at her. "Shelagh?" he asked.

"What?" she turned, a smile on her lips.

"Thank you." He said simply.

She smiled at him. "Whatever for Patrick?" she asked.

"For choosing me." then following her upstairs.

140


End file.
